2009

'Okay Hyuk just breathe okay? Its not like you would be confessing for a crime here. Its just Donghae for God's sake'  yeah it was just Donghae. The cliched version of the love of his life. His best friend. Just Donghae whom Hyukjae had been admiring for the past 3 years. Right. It was just Donghae.

Hyukjae woke up early that day. Leeteuk was nagging all of them how they were always late for schedules, and today was no exception. Since it was supposed to be a day off from their promotions, Leeteuk managed to snatch an interview for Hyukjae and a dance collab for the others. This was going to be a hectic day.

Hyukjae glanced at the sleeping figure at the next bed besides his. The person was mumbling stuffs about aliens and spaceships and he can't control himself but to split to a huge grin. That's what Donghae gets for searching about UFO's every night. He checked his reflection at the mirror one last time before walking towards Donghae.

He admired every feature he had. The creases on his forehead that were appearing in and out as he mumbled inaudible stuff. His small, pointed nose, his perfect complexion. Every blemish he had were perfections for Hyukjae. Those cheeks Hyukjae would always want to caress, and of course those thin lips. Hyukjae always wondered how they would feel. What would he feel when he feels them against his own.

He abruptly shook his head as he saw the latter trying to open his eyes. He moved farther away from Donghae's face.

"H-Hyuk?" Donghae mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. He was trying to sit up.

"Oh! Finally you're awake. Don't you know what time it is? Teukie hyung's going to throw a fit when he sees you're still in bed." Hyukjae whined as he pulled the covers away.

"Yah its cold! Why didn't you wake me up?" Donghae complained as he pulled the covers to him again. He glanced at the bedside clock.

"I have been waking you up for like 30 minutes already. You have exactly 20 minutes to get ready before manager comes." He tapped his foot impatiently as he watched the now panicked Donghae run to the bathroom, grabbing his towel and clothes in the process.

"Just tell them I'd be running late okay? Wait for me in the car, and save me a seat will you?" Donghae shouted from the rest room. 

Hyukjae heaved a sigh as he ruffled his hair in frustration. He totally lost his self confidence. He was determined to confess today. And that's what he should do.

Half an hour later, finally they were all going to the agency. Leeteuk was sleeping at the back along with Kangin while Shindong was eating in front and Hyukjae and Donghae sat together in the middle.

"Uhm Hae, can I ask you a question?" Hyukjae mumbled as he played with his fingers.

"Ah sure. Shoot." Donghae tore his gaze away from the window as he looked at his bestfriend.

"Well you see...... Uhm...... The thing is............." Hyukjae mentally cursed himself for stuttering. He never gets this nervous. Never.

"What? Yah why are you getting nervous all of a sudden?" Donghae chuckled as he playfully puched his friend's arm.

"Nothing. Aish forget what I said." Hyukjae immediately turned away.

"Aww come on just tell me. You look anxious so just shoot. I'd answer even if its silly." Donghae grinned at him making his stomach do backflips.

"Even though its silly and out of the blue?" Hyukjae looked again, acting like a little kid.

"Yes. I'm perfectly  used to that childish kind so go on." Hyukjae puffed his cheeks before looking again at his friend.

"Well, what if a friend told you that he likes you. What would you do? Would you accept his feelings?" He felt relieved as he managed to say those words. He braced himself for the latter's answer.

"One at a time okay? Well if my friend says that he likes me, in what way does he like me? The sibling kind, the bestfriend kind or the romantic kind?"  Hyukjae perked up as he looked at his friend questionably.

"Huh? Why are you making things complicated Lee Donghae, really? Of course the romantic kind! Why would it be anything else?" Donghae was taken a little bit back because of Hyukjae's sudden mini outburst.

"Fine fine I was only teasing you. You don't have to get worked up like that." Donghae turned away as he crossed his arms on his chest.

"I'm sorry. its just that.......... I'm just a little frustrated these days. So what are you going to do?" 

"Alright alright I get it. Well then I'd be thankful of course, that someone likes me. That someone is willing to accept a silly, childish, stubborn person like me. That I managed to get a space in her heart at least." Hyukjae smiled at how Donghae ansered him. HIs heart started beating faster.

"Really? But what if he's a guy? You're still okay with that?" Hyukjae avoided the latter's gaze, yet he knew he was looking at him. He felt his cheeks heat up.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm not judgmental or anything. I don't care what his gender is even if he's an alien or a human being, he has feelings and I'm okay with that." Donghae tapped Hyukjae's shoulders. "But I wouldn't accept those feelings. I'd be too scared to lose that friendship. I wouldn't want to take a risk. I might lose him, and he might be the most important person in the world to me, but I don't want to risk anything." He again gazed on the window, admiring the shadows of the buildings around Seoul.

Hyukjae was left speechless. He felt his mouth run dry. HIs mind went blank, every ounce of self confidence he had in his body were now all gone.  This just proves why he was scared in the first place. The feeling of being rejected, the feeling of having someone you completely care for suddenly leave you just because you dared to cross the line between friendship and love. The bitterness and pain he felt at the moment was something unexplainable.

They stayed silent for the rest of the drive and after another half hour, they finally arrived at the building.

"Go straight to the practice room after the interview okay Hyuk? Yah hyuk are you listening? Hyukjae?" Leeteuk called him out several times but his mind was floating somewhere else. Hyukjae just stayed seated in the car as the rest of the members already went out. "Hey, what's wrong? Hyukjae?" Leeteuk shook Hyukjae a bit as the younger was brought back to his senses.

"Oh? Oh, are we here already? I'm sorry hyung, what is it?" Hyukjae shifted his position to face his hyung.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a little out of it really. Donghae's already inside. You have an interview remember?" Leeteuk's face was full of fret and he can't help it but symphatize with how Hyukjae looked like right now.

"Oh yeah. I'm sorry. I've just been a little pre-occupied these days. Sorry about that hyung." Hyukjae immediately climbed out of the van and stood beside Leeteuk.

"Are you sure? You aren't sick or anything right? I could cancel the interview if you want to......" Hyukjae shook his head and just smiled at him.

"I'm perfectly fine hyung. I knew how hard you worked just for me to get that interview. I'm really okay. I was just thinking something over that's all. I'd be off then." Hyukjae patted his hyung's shoulder before he began walking towards the entrance.

Hello!! OMG I don't even know if you guys still remember me, or this fic XD Anyways I think I promised you all sometihng about an epilogue and a proper ending? Well I was kinda in the mood and I managed to visit this one again, and look~ I made part one of the epilogue:))
This was the back story how they got together. I've already said back then that I started all of this because of a text fic, well I just edited and added a lot of parts and this came up. 
Well I hope you do read it, or maybe not.
Hope I could still feel someone is still reading this though.
Well till then :))
-Jen