Club Déjà Vu bathroom...

Yuri splashed cold water on her face and stared at herself in the mirror. Amber walked up from behind and put her hand on her cousin’s shoulder. “Gēge, you okay?”

“I’m hangin’ in there, Ambro. I wasn’t expecting to see her tonight. It just caught me off guard. She’s so beautiful…especially when she’s angry. ! I need to get out of here!”

“No, Yuri. You can’t leave yet…I won’t let you. I’m sorry for setting you up like this. You need to talk to her and find out what happened. You need to tell her how you feel...how much you love her. It can’t end like this. We all know that you belong together. Why aren’t you fighting to be with Jessica?"

Back at the table…

“What the , Krystal? Same goes for the rest of you,” Jessica said as she glared at Tiffany, Taeyeon, Sunny and Hyo Yeon. “You guys were all in on this together, weren’t you?”

“What do you mean what the ?” Krystal answered back. “What the is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? You know why we brought you here. You need to talk to Yuri…you owe her some kind of explanation. , Jessica! Amber was right…you really can be a cold-hearted sometimes!”

Jessica glared at Krystal. The mood suddenly became cold and tense between the sisters. Sensing a blow-up about to ensue, Hyo Yeon excused herself and ran towards the bar. Sunny quickly followed her calling out, “Wait me for!” Taeyeon stepped behind Tiffany to take cover. Tiffany turned to Jessica and spoke frankly to her.

“Krystal is right, Jessi. We’ve been friends for over 10 years now so I think I know a thing or two about you. Please don’t be upset with me for what I am about to say. I think what did to Yuri was really ed up. If you don’t want to be with her, that’s your decision, but have the decency and respect to end it in a civil way. I think you two belong together and I don’t know why you can’t see that. I know how much you love Yuri. I don’t understand why you would give that up. Please talk to her.”

Jessica continued to glare at Krystal and then at Tiffany. Surprisingly, she didn’t have anything to say back to either girl. She knew they were right. She knew she had handled the whole situation with Yuri the wrong way. She realized she owed her closure and that it wasn’t going to be easy to do, but it had to be done…face to face. She looked down at the floor and sighed heavily. How can I face Yuri and tell her it’s over when I’m still in love with her?

Jessica’s P.O.V.

Krystal and Tiffany are right. As much as I dread having to face Yuri, it’s the right thing to do. I just don’t want to hurt her anymore than I already have. What do I say to her? How can I look into her eyes and tell her that we can’t be together when I really don’t mean it? How can I break her heart gently while mine is breaking too? I love her so much and want to spend the rest of my life with her but that can never happen.

Things were so easy during our Thailand trip. I was just Jessica there, not Girls’ Generation’s Ice Princess Jessica Jung. No one recognized or knew me. It was so liberating to be able to show affection towards Yuri… to just be able to hold her hand or sit close to her without being judged. We were treated like any other couple.

I can’t help that I fell in love with another woman. I didn’t intend for it to happen, it just did. Before I met Yuri, I never fully understood Krystal’s relationship with Amber. I thought Krystal was just afraid to be with a man, but that’s not it at all. After being with Yuri, I understand now. Krystal and Amber have this connection, just like Yuri and I do. If there really is such a thing as soulmates, I know Yuri is mine.

When I first met her I found her intriguing. She was cute, funny, and sweet and I really wanted to get closer to her. At first I thought she was a player, but I found myself wanting to be around her all the time and realized she wasn’t a player at all…just a big flirt.

I fell fast and hard for her and I was so happy that she felt the same way about me. When we shared our first kiss on the beach I felt this surge of energy fill me from the inside and I never wanted that feeling to go away. It stirred something deep inside me that I just can’t put into words. I get the chills just thinking about it now. At that moment I wanted to give Yuri my entire being and desired hers to be mine. I wanted to do more than just kiss her. I wanted to share myself with her in a way that I never had with anyone else…and that’s exactly what I did!

I don't regret making the first move when we were in Thailand. I just wanted to be intimate with her so badly, so I took charge of the situation. I was so in love and it was absolutely wonderful! The passion we shared was indescribable. Each time we made love, I fell deeper in love with her.

I felt so safe and secure with Yuri.  She never pressured me to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable with and always treated me with respect. I felt happiness and an inexplicable sense of calm whenever we were together. She always made me feel so loved.

It was just so hard to sneak around and hide our relationship when we got back from Thailand. My life is so public here in Korea and I hated that Yuri had to hide her feelings for me...that she had to hide who she is. I really hated living with the fear that our relationship would be discovered and I just know she felt the same way. I also know that she would have blamed herself if my career suffered as a result. That’s why I decided to end things to lift that burden off of her shoulders. Yuri deserves so much more than I can give her. She deserves to be in a relationship where she doesn’t have to compromise any part of herself.

Some of the managers at the company kept telling me that it would destroy my career if my relationship went public. They said I would hurt my group mates and embarrass my family. My mom and dad knew about Yuri and I and were totally accepting of us, but if my career ended how would I be able to be a good eldest daughter and support them when they got older? I also have to think of Soo Jung and my GG sisters. God forbid that Krystal get hurt or the group break up or suffer because of me…because I was being selfish and wanted to be with Yuri.

I know I should have ended our relationship in a better way, but no one understands how hard it was for me to walk away from the love of my life, from the one person that completes me. I had to keep my distance because I knew I would just run back to her. It hurts so much to not be able to see Yuri every day...to hold her close, to kiss her, to tell her how much I love her and to thank her for loving me. I really hate that I can’t love who I want to love. It’s just so unfair.