I'm Scared
Speak to Me
"Moon Jongup? Have you ever heard of his name?" Daehyun asks.
No. I have not. Who is his kid?
I tried to recall back to the first day of school, but all I could remember was the misery and sadness of going back to hell.
Who is Moon Jongup?
++
The night fell and I was washing up in the bathroom. As I close my eyes to rinse off the soap on my face, I recall Youngjae's words.
"Someone is planning to kill you."
Shivers ripple through my body as I wipe my face with a towel. I slowly scan the bathroom and realize how afraid I became when I got surprised by my own reflection.
The person who's trying to kill me..
wouldn't possibly be here right now, would he?
Oh come on Saehee. Stop being such a scaredy cat.
I take quick steps out the bathroom, until I froze when I sense a presence which made me gasp and even let out a little squeal.
He stops walking and looks in my direction. I calm myself down, realizing it's just Youngjae.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"I'm fine." I whisper.
My eyes gaze all over the floor, imagining what would've happened if it wasn't Youngjae and someone else. My eyes then avert to Youngjae's feet which scans up and sees Youngjae slightly squinting his eyes, as if he was trying to delve deeper into my mind. He slowly begins to start walking again, until I stop him.
"Wait! Youngjae, uh--"
Shoot. Now that I've called him, what do I do? I can't tell him that I'm scared.
Youngjae continues to scan my eyes, except this time he reveals a slight frown. "Do you need something?"
"Uh... Oh! I need to study more, but I don't want to do it alone. Can you study with me?"
! Since when did you ever study with people, or study in general?
"Sure." he shrugs.
I let out a sigh of relief as he walks out to get his books, good thing he doesn't suspect anything weird.
++
My head feels as if it's going to burst. We've been studying for more than two hours, and there's still four more hours until I actually have to wake up. My room never felt so suffocating.
"As long as you remember cohesion and adhesion, you should be fine."
Is Youngjae sleepy? He's been constantly teaching me for the last two hours, but he hasn't shown any signs that he's tired, never yawned or dozed off either.
"You want to take a break?" I stretch my arms.
"Sure."
"Aren't you tired?"
"Not really."
Only a sigh comes out in response. There he goes again with his short answers. Does he really think my mom's death was caused by him? Oh yea, I wonder where my dad is right now.
Wait, I must be going crazy.
I actually had a thought about my dad.
I get up from my seat and walk over to plop face down on my bed, hoping that lying down will at least refresh my mind.
Youngjae gets up from his seat and walks to the door.
"Wait, I'm not going to sleep," I stop him, "Can't you stay here a little longer?"
I'm scared.
He takes the doorknob and opens the door. "You're tired and you need some rest. Your mind is processing what you've just learned."
Please don't leave.
His hand stays on the doorknob and he lets out a quiet sigh before closing the door back and walking towards my bed. "You might catch a cold if you don't sleep with your blankets."
My body awkwardly shifts as he pulls the blankets up to cover me.
"What are you-"
Words froze when Youngjae's hand started to pat my head. As I look at up at his gaze, his eyes weren't cold as when I first met him. They were more soft and sparkly, and it went well with his warm hands my hair. Of course it felt weird. A guy was patting my head, then gently my hair again and again.
But I couldn't speak a word because I was too absorbed in thinking about this familiar feeling.
This was how my mom used to get me to sleep. Did she do the same with Youngjae? The nights where I fell asleep so easily, did she do this to Youngjae as well? Tears form at the thought of my mom, but I shut them close so that Youngjae wouldn't notice, and soon I sleep the most comfortable four hours I have ever slept in a long time.
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