I don't think I have ever woken up being this comfortable before. The bright sun wasn't burning my eyes and the weather was at its perfect warm temperature. It's weird, really. There has never been a time where I felt this happy to describe myself waking up like this. My pillow felt somewhat comfortably different, and I never thought of the cold wall to be this plushy, and--

wait, my bed was never placed against the wall.

In slight confusion I slightly open my eyes, afraid of what kind of sight I was about to witness. I shockingly open them up to a man's chest, --Youngjae's, to be exact. My head looks up at his peacefully sleeping eyes; and my eyes, in disbelief, watch his own eyes squeezing together once before opening slowly, meeting with mine as both of our eyes bolt open at each other.

I stutter as I strangle out of the covers, only to end up getting tangled and end up sliding out of the bed along with my blankets right in front of Youngjae's bewildered eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking over at the edge of the bed to make sure I didn't hurt myself.

Before I could confirm that I was doing fine, we hear a knock coming from my door and look over to see Daehyun dressed fully in black, “We're leaving in an hour. Just thought I should wake you guys up so you guys can get ready.”

That was when the happy feelings I had within these short 5 minutes went away, and I told myself that it wasn't right to feel any kind of joy right now. I take a deep breath before lifting myself up from the ground, ready to face the great amount of sadness and distress that was going to come

++

Not a single word comes out of our mouths on the way to Somi's deceased father's funeral. I, too, did not want to say anything until the possibility of me getting hit by someone at the funeral occurs to me. After all, someone will be furious at me for being the cause of this whole thing.

“If anyone hits me; whether it'd be Somi or Eunhae's relative, let them hit me. I deserve it,” I announce.

You could see the disagreement in each of their eyes, but they were too filled with this sorrowful atmosphere to put any effort to decline. They don't want their boss to get hurt, but they also have a sense of this guilt I should, and I do feel.

No one hit me at Somi's father's funeral. As we proceeded to bow at Somi and her family members, I continued to apologize and look down, too ashamed to look at my friend and her family. Even though my eyes were facing the ground I could still feel the disappointment in their eyes as I was explaining the real situation.

Somi's mom fainted as I told her that I, Somi's friend since high school, was a boss of a mafia gang, and that because of the sticky situation I'm in her husband died, not because of any disease he hid from his family. My guilt increases for feeling the slightest bit of luckiness that all of Somi's family members have kind hearts just like her. She had an older sister by two years and a younger brother by four. Their minds were filled with disbelief, but Somi told us to not worry about her or her family members, and told us to proceed to go and send Eunhae off.

I was too ashamed to respond or give her a hug of comfort. The only thing I was able to do was listen to her words and leave the funeral place with heavy steps. We waited outside for Daehyun though. We waited until he was finished promising Somi's deceased father that he'll take great care and protect Somi to his fullest; and to take revenge to the bastard that killed an innocent man like Somi's dad. Then Daehyun gives Somi one last long hug and they sob in each other's arms until it was time to go see Eunhae.

It was Eunhe's funeral where my predictions came true. However, I forgot to think about how it was also possible for one of my subordinates to be hit as well –Himchan, to be exact.

Eunhae's family members did not know exactly who were we were and why we were bowing to them. But when Himchan couldn't take in the guilt anymore and blurted out that he was the one who killed Eunhae, her older brother furiously grabs Himchan's collar as her second older brothers supports his falling, and nearly fainting mother. Eunahe's father was passed out, completely drunk from drinking his sorrows away about his dead daughter.

“You motherer, who exactly are you?” The oldest brother furiously asks with his shaking voice.

“I was the reason Eunhae didn't come home for some nights --I was her boyfriend,” Himchan timidly responses, but looks at the brother straight in the eyes.

“Boyfriend? My sister had no--” her brother stops speaking, recalling all the times his sister secretly went out to answer phone calls, and remembered all the moments his sister would come home late, but extremely happy.

“Eunhae had a boyfriend?” He looks down and whispers, but soon looks back up, furious more then ever and shakes Himchan's collar he was already tightly grabbing onto, “You horrible bastard! You killed my sister, why? Why would you do something like that?!

Even without Himchan giving a chance to answer or explain, her older brother swings his clutched fists across Himchan's cheeks three times in a row. We all look away and continue to hear the sounds of Himchan's grunts of pain, and all the punches and smacks being thrown by Eunhae's enraged brother. We could hear his mom crying out even louder, and saw the timid second oldest brother silently crying next to his helpless mother.

I look back when I hear Himchan's body collapse to the floor. I froze for a while until it hit me that I allowed one of my subordinates get beaten into a pupil. I'm suppose to protect and be there for my fellow members, but it was just the feeling of me wanting to beat Himchan as badly as Eunhae's brother is doing right now that made my feet stay where they are, and continued to hear Himchan getting beaten up nearly half dead in front of my eyes. Although I am equally enraged like Eunhae's brother at Himchan for killing one of my best friend, it confuses me that I have to feel pity for him because he's my subordinate.

Himchan was still conscious, and the older brother noticed as well. He catches his breath and wipes off the sweat from his forehead and proceeds to head towards Himchan to continue beating him to death, wanting him to feel the pain Himchan made his girlfriend go through.

God dang it, I really wish I wasn't Himchan's boss right now

I force my body to walk in front of Eunhae's brother to stop him from hurting Himchan any more. I finally explain that the only reason Eunhae started dating Himchan was because of me, the mafia boss who Eunhae had to unluckily become friends with. The reason she died was all because of me. If she wasn't involved with the mafia this would have never happened, and that if he needed someone to beat up it would be me, not Himchan.

Himchan looks up at me, feeling embarrassed and ashamed that he needed his boss to stick up for him. He felt guilty for making me say such word about Eunhae's death not being his fault but mine, but it is true. If Eunhae or even Somi never became my friend, this would have never happened and they would probably be living happier lives than this.

I bow an apologetic bow to Eunhae's brother and he scoffs, wondering why Eunhae became friends with a “ like me” and proceeds in pushing me so that I fall to the ground. Instead of just laying there I immediately get on my knees and endure all the hard kicks and slaps that Eunhae's brother was attacking me with.

Just as I told them, Himchan weakly stood up and placed himself next to the rest of the guys and they watch me continuously getting beaten. I was nearly on the verge of knocking out until Eunhae's mother cries at her eldest son, asking if the only thing he could do was punch and kick people, and to stop immediately. He listens to his mother's orders and stands in front of me, trying to catch his breath back from using so much energy, still unable to forgive us and has never been so angry at anyone before. He grits his teeth and tells us to get out of here, and to never see them ever again. My subordinates comes running to me once they see me getting up. Youngjae and Jongup each support one side of my body since Daehyun and Yongguk were already supporting Himchan. I look at Eunhae's brothers and her mother before bowing my last bow and limp over with the guys tightly holding onto me.

“That was better than I expected,” I sigh. I look over to my side and see Himchan beaten up ten times worse compared to me, “Let's take Himchan to Dr. Park.”

“And you too,” Jongup adds in.

We were continuing to walk back to our ride until Youngjae stops walking, causing everyone else to stop.

“What's wrong?” I ask, looking at Youngjae's shocked expression in front. I follow his eyes, and it was my turn for my eyes to open wide.

I wasn't able to believe it, Yoo Jaewook was standing in front of us, ready to go in and send Eunhae's family his condolences.

“Funny to run into you guys here,” he chuckles, “My son, I see you're doing well.”

Youngjae tightens his grip on my arm, either holding me close so I won't get hurt, or he was just that scared himself.

“You're a bastard. I want to kill you,” I tell him.

His laughing increases, “Please, I beg of you. Let's not fight today. – But I will give you a hint.”

What is this talking about?

“Zelo and Eunhae died of the same reason. There will be one more of your friend who dies for the same reason as well. And then I will kill you. And then Youngjae.”

He laughs at our confused faces and proceeds to walk into the funeral place, giving some kind of weird look before walking past us. Of course I couldn't him just go like that, but it was Youngjae who stopped me from chasing after that bastard.

“Don't,” he says, “You're already badly beaten up anyway.”

I don't care if I'm badly beaten up or , I just want to kill this motherer who hurt you and all my friends.

++

As I sit next to Himchan, waiting for him to regain conscious, I couldn't stop feeling the regret and slapped myself probably a hundred times for letting Yoo Jaewook off like that just because of Youngjae' stupid words. Who is he to tell me what to do? And what kind of stupid person am I to actually listen to him?

“Sahee, stop slapping yourself,” Yongguk says as he sits on the other side of Himchan.

“Don't tell me what to do, .” I continue to slap myself.

Yongguk sighs and continues to stare at Himchan's face, causing me to smirk at the sight of him worrying for Himchan.

“Just hold his hand,” I tease.

Yongguk rolls his eyes, and then Himchan's eyes begin to flutter open.

“Himchan, can you hear me?” Yongguks asks, sitting at the edge of his chair.

“Well enough,” Himchan groans. His eyes turn to mine,but quickly averts back. He stayed silent, not knowing what to do or say.

I sigh as I try to feel pity for him, “Are you okay?”

He just nods, but then he frowns, revealing his confusion, “Aren't you mad at me?”

“If I was mad at you do you think I'd been waiting for you to wake up?”

“No mam'”

“But I still don't understand, why'd you kill Eunhae? I know you were mad at her, but what made you kill her?”

“I would never bear to see her again,” he mutters.

“But don't you regret it?”

He slowly shakes his head, and I let out a big breath in disbelief, my anger towards him increasing each second. The frustration causes me to not be able to even look at a strand of Himchan's hair.

“Just kick me out of the group if you're that mad,” Himchan mumbles, immediately regretting what he said, not wanting to leave the group. I, too, do not want him to leave, but I don't know how to get rid of the grudge I have against him.

“Leave, only for a while,” I tell him. “Until I calm down and I can bear looking at your face. Also, remember that Eunhae was the only person besides Somi who treated me like a normal person at school. I want you to remember that you're the person who started your guys' relationship. Accept the fact that Eunhae did nothing wrong. Until then, never take a step into my house, ever again.”

I stand up and head towards the door, only for Yongguk to say his defense for Himchan, “Saehee, this is too much.”

A lightbulb comes into my head as I open the door to leave. I turn my body and face them before walking out the door, “Also, never take a step into my house until you realize that Yongguk likes you.”

A/N: Sorry I uploaded this two days late from the promised date. 

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