“Where are you going again?” Myungsoo lied down on the peach-colored couch, pouting his lips and rolling his eyes in annoyance. Lee Ji Eun was going to leave him again for another business.

Kim Myungsoo was happy when Jieun told him she was moving out. She moved to a house downtown, somewhere near her agency and boutique, and also near to his place. Everything about the house was self-design and Myungsoo liked the feel of it. He was happy, since they could spend much more time together. It took him less time than before. Yet, after moving in, Lee Ji Eun became twice busier. This time, it wasn’t always about work.

“Visiting a friend,” Jieun chuckled at his childishness. It was the third time this week, that she had to go when he came over to visit. She was busy gather her things, arranging her music sheets, and carried her guitar.

“And who is this friend?” Myungsoo let out a ‘tsk’ sound, giving her signs of how unhappy he was. For the two weeks, Lee Ji Eun never stayed still in her house for so long. It’s either being too busy from work, or too busy visiting a friend.

“Jonghyun,” Jieun replied shortly with a playful smile, while Myungsoo frown unhappily. “Are we going through this again?” Jieun sighed and settled beside him. “I told you over and over again.”

“It’s just that I don’t like him!”

“Okay,” Jieun nodded and leaned closer. “You said the same thing when I visit Sanghyun the other day… Yoseob too… Kikwang too… Yonghwa too… and Sunggu too.” Jieun counted the names with her fingers.

“Okay! I don’t like any of your boy-space-friends.” Myungsoo frowned again, leaning closer while staring at her so fiercely. He was upset. In fact, he was very upset and mad. But for once, for the girl he loved, he pretended he was still okay with her hanging out with other boys. “Hang out with someone more normal! Like Jiyeon or Suzy or Luna or Sulli… or my co-actresses!” He protested.

“Okay,” Jieun softly sighed and pouted. “I don’t like any of your co-actresses either… or any of your girl-space-friends.”

“Come on, my friendship with them is completely professional!” Myungsoo groaned. “My girl-space-friends are completely friend-zoned. You have nothing to be worried about. I only have one girlfriend, it’s you. I’m not looking at any other girls.”

Jieun chuckled at his remarks, but then her gaze turned very serious. They have been over and over this matter for the past few weeks. It began to annoy her a while ago. “Mine too.”

“I know,” Myungsoo sighed and pulled her for a hug. He lay down on her lap soon after and pressed his eyes closed. “I know.”

“Hey,” she brushed her fingers against his hair. Her right hand tangled with his. Why did his fingertips feel so cold? “Jonghyun and I are just friends. At least I made it clear to him that I only look at him as a friend. He’s a great guy; we shared the same taste in music, that’s why we often meet up. We only talk about music, rarely about others.”

“I know,” Myungsoo stirred. “It’s just I’m extremely worried when it come to him. He worried me the most among your boy-space-friends.” He remarked and rolled his eyes again, but quickly soften when he saw her smile. “It’s still feels so unreal and scary to me, Jieun-ah. We broke up and make up a lot, so I’m still so insecure. It feels like you’re going to slip off again.” He sighed.

It had been a few weeks of getting back together, still he was worried. Something still weigh against his chest, of what happen that night still invited much regret. He also knew, part of her reason of moving out was him. She wanted to stop being reminded about the incident. She thought, avoiding it might be for the best, so she moved out.

“I love you,” she suddenly confessed. He stared at her blankly, it was rare. Of course, she suddenly showed a lot of pink. “I don’t often say it aloud because it’s embarrassing for me, but I think you need to hear it and I mean it.” She hated bringing up the topic again, but it was important. They never actually talk and solve it. They left it up in the air, afraid that another word may hurt. “What happen that night still hurt me and I still often think about it, but I…” She sighed and looked away. Myungsoo could feel anxiety rushing up to what she would say next. “I love you. I do.”

He softened a smile at her words. Yes, he loved her too. She washed away his anxiety and she was his comfort. Slowly, he sat up and reached for her face, planting a kiss right above her lips. She shut both her eyes closed, hearts pounding. It wasn’t only hers, but his too was pounding hard. “Thank you. I love you too.”

“Okay,”

“But still, I don’t like you being around that guy so much. The same goes for all your boy-space-friends.” He protested again.

“Myungsoo,” she sighed and he raised an eyebrow at her. “Really?!”

***

Kim Jonghyun might be her bestfriend so far, aside from the INFINITE and Suzy, and also the popular actress Yoo In Na. Suzy always talked about her life, they hang out as how they should as a teenager. Yoo In Na was more likely of a dependable older sister. And the INFINITE was an old friend that she could rarely meet. And there was Kim Jonghyun, a very good friend that shared the same opinion about music. They clicked well and Jieun enjoyed spending hours with him. She knew Myungsoo hated it when they hang out, but she also made it clear that they were friends. There was a different in her excitement with Myungsoo and Jonghyun, clearly everything flickered with Myungsoo.

Their meeting place would be either the café downtown, owned by an actor where many idols dated secretely, or the waiting room. Journalists were rumoured to be prohibited from the place. Members, such as her and Jonghyun, were granted privacy in their own private room. Jieun loved hanging out with anyone in the café, it was so nice. At times being alone could be quite enjoyable. Since she could no longer visit her favorite café downtown, it was the only place where she could enjoy and relax.

And as for today, since both of them had the same schedule, they met up at their waiting room. As she grew close to Jonghyun, she managed to get close to almost all of them. It wasn’t anything weird or awkward if she suddenly popped up in their room. The same goes for Jonghyun, her staff stopped whispering around long ago. It was normal for the two of them, coming to each other’s waiting room. Of course, everything was kept professional.

“You’re meeting IU-ssi again, aren’t you?” Taemin shrugged, seeing Jonghyun toothy grin for the third time this afternoon. When Jonghyun nodded, the room was in an uproar thanks to Minho non-stop teasing. Their leader, Onew, in the other hand, let out an annoyed sigh. Everything quickly rushed back to silence, once their leader sighed.

“I think you like her,” Minho added and Jonghyun simply shrugged. He was way too cool when it came to his feelings for the soloist. Minho was sure; Jonghyun took her as more than friends.

“Maybe,” Jonghyun lifted his shoulder, engrossed in his phone conversation. “You don’t like her?”

“Well… it’s not like I don’t like her. I mean, I like her…” Minho scratched his nape. “You know what I mean!” Minho groaned and the older laughed.

“It means if you have feelings for her!” Taemin shouted in frustration.

The leader immediately glared at the three younger ones. His glare was as cold and deadly as always. Perhaps, his silence was more menancing that his glare, that a simple silent movement was enough to scare all of them. “Shut up!” He kept it low but firm. “Do you want us to be doomed or something?” The maknae bowed and soon the so-called figure came rushing through the door with a very sweet smile.

“Jonghyun-ssi,” she grinned and the boys let out a variety of sound. “Minho-ssi, Taemin-ssi, Onew-ssi,” she bowed to everyone. “Sorry, I’m late.” And settled next to the muscular one. “Should we start?” Jonghyun nodded and showed his toothy grin.

***

“It’s a very good song, IU-ssi,” Jonghyun clapped in delight and unplugged the earpiece off his ear.

“Yours is good too.” She replied, plugging it off her ear.

“So… I guess it’s ready?”

“No, not yet. There’s still a few songs that I need to work on.”

“Good luck on that.” Jonghyun winked and Jieun replied it with a soft smile. “Anyway, I was thinking about collaborating with you. Our Juliette song… how about you start off the performance with your guitar?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jieun shyly looked away. “I’m completely unprepared. I don’t even know how to play it.”

“Come on! The members were so happy when I told them about it. Our manager agreed too.” Jonghyun messed her hair. “Let’s just try it for a bit.”

“Okay,” She pulled her guitar and settled it on her lap, stacking her music sheet and slip it into her guitar case. “Just… be patient with me. I’m a bit… nervous.”

“It’s just me! You always perform in front of the crowd, yet you’re nervous over this little practice?” Jonghyun giggled. “You’re too cute. It just makes me want to protect you all the time.” He slowly sang the first verse of the song. “Now, it goes like this. Am to Dm, then to E.”

“Like this?” She reenacts his actions, pressing the string nicely and strummed it. Jonghyun nodded with a laugh.

“That was good, but it was supposed to be a Dm not a D.” Jonghyun took his guitar away. “Your fingers are supposed to be like this,” He leaned closer, placing it on the right strings. “Now, try again.”

“Umm… thank you.” She murmured slowly, then strummed it again. “Like this?”

“Yes, and slowly to G at the end.”

“G… G… G…” she murmured and he helped her out for a bit, placing her tiny fingers on the right strings.

“Hey, are you free this Sunday?”

“I don’t –“

“L-ssi?” Jonghyun suddenly cut them off when the door was harshly opened with a loud bang. “I think you got the wrong room. It’s SHINEE’s waiting room.” He politely explained, but the intruder looked very angry with his eyes set on the only woman inside the room.

“IU-ssi, let’s go!” He grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her outside the room. His eyes were so dark that Jieun was scared of it. He looked very angry and perhaps it was clear, the reason why he was so upset: Kim Jonghyun.

“Hey, you! Stop right there!” Jonghyun yelled, as low as possible, surpressing his anger. It was better of not to create a scene with so many people around. “Let her go! Don’t you see you are hurting her?”

“So what?” He let out a ‘tsk’ sound and smirked at his senior. Jonghyun was clearly taken aback by the younger actions. “She’s my –“

“Jonghyun-ssi, it’s okay.” Jieun replied with a smile, shooting glares at her boyfriend. This was outrageous and she wasn’t going to let him off the hook, once they managed to get some privacy. “Maybe he wants to talk about something. You know, rookies are too shy that someone they look rude. I’ll be right back!” And she was dragged again.

***

“Myungsoo!” She yelled. “Kim Myungsoo!” She yelled again, still without any respond in return. “Kim Myungsoo!” She raised her voice and he flinched. His steps finally stopped as he turned around to face her. His eyes were so dark, he was angry. “Kim Myungsoo!” However, she was angry too. “What were you thinking?!”

“What was I thinking?!” He yelled back. Thankfully, they arrived on an empty corner, without any eyes looking at them. “What were you thinking?!” He slammed the wall behind her and trapped her between his strong arms. “You two were getting so touchy back there! He was touching you so closely. It appears to me the two of you could kiss at any moment!”

“He was just helping me with my guitar!”

“You told me your friendship is completely professional and friend-zoned!”

“It is!”

“He should know we’re dating. That you’re mine and only mine!”

“Are you insane?”

“Are you? Don’t you realize the way he looks at you is so romantic? It’s the way I used to look at you!” Myungsoo punched the walls again. “Don’t ever hang out with him again!”

“Give me a reason why I shouldn’t! I have the rights to be having my own space.”

“No, you don’t!” He yelled and it upset her. “You’re mine, Lee Ji Eun! Mine only! You can’t hangout with any other boys!”

“Attention! Broadcast starts in fifteen minutes! Please get ready!” The radio suddenly rang.

“Enough!” She yanked him off her wrist. He tried to reach her back, but she refused to make more contact. She was upset; he could see how teary she got from holding her anger in. “Enough, Myungsoo. I have works to do. We, too, whether we’re dating or not, should stay professional.”

***

“Are you still upset?”

When Jieun arrived home that night, it was past 2 in the morning, and Myungsoo was waiting for her inside. She was surprised. He wasn’t supposed to be inside, especially when she hadn’t shared her password to him. For some reason, she wasn’t ready to find him in her house all the time. She was being extracareful since that night and it seemed Myungsoo understand her well.

She heaved another sigh, tossing her bag and coat on the couch. Without looking at the man, she went to the kitchen. She needed some water to cool down. Today broadcasts and filming was twice harder than usual, with their fight spinning in her head, ruining the happy mood she was supposed to show today. He, being completely stubborn about it, wasn’t helping much either. She was upset. Judging from his voice, she knew he was still angry. Did any of them have the right to be angry?

“I don’t,” she lied. She didn’t want to prolong the problem anymore, if only he could shut it for a moment. “I just don’t remember giving you my password. I don’t feel like having any guest tonight.”

“I asked Jiyeon,” Myungsoo barked back in the same cold tone and Jieun frowned at the mention of her best friend’s name. “So you’re not upset already? I’m still very upset, Lee Ji Eun.”

“Can we talk about this another day?”

“No, we can’t.” Myungsoo glared at her, once their eyes met and Jieun struggled to hide her emotion. “I don’t want you to be friend with him anymore.”

“Myungsoo, we talk about this. We’ve been going over and over again.” Jieun sighed and walked away, but he was quick enough to prevent her taking another step away from him. She turned around to meet his menancing glare. She was angry too. “He’s a great guy. We keep everything professional and friend-zoned. He’s the only friend of mine that I feel comfortable talking about music. It connects us.” Jieun gently pushed off his grip. “I hope you can take back what you said about him this afternoon and apologize. I’ve been trying to solve the misunderstanding you caused… he’s been so worried about me.”

“And you still can’t see it?!” Myungsoo raised his voice in anger. When she showed him a blank expression, something boiled inside him and he doubted he could control it any longer. “He likes you! The way he looks at you is the same way as how I look at you. I really hate it how you feel so comfortable being all touchy with him!”

“Go home, Myungsoo. We’ll talk about this tomorrow or maybe later. I’m very tired.” She didn’t know why dating could be very tiring at times. Jieun wanted to breathe. Kim Myungsoo may be her air, but at times he could be her chain. He could be her breath or suffocation. Lee Ji Eun realized how dangerous love could be.

“We’re not talking about this any other day! I want it to be done right here, right now!” Myungsoo yelled. “You should stop going out with your boy-friends, or!”

“Or what?!” Jieun barked back. She has had enough of this nonsense fight, over something purely ridicioulus. She has had enough being the patient one, the always losing one. “Or what?!”

“You’re mine, Lee Ji Eun! I’m your boyfriend and you’re my girlfriend!” Myungsoo yelled back and it was rounds of barking at each other. The words piercing through each other’s chest, glares shooting daggers at each other. “You shouldn’t be looking at other boys! You should be looking at me and me only! I should be your whole world!”

“You can’t! You can’t!” She had teary eyes of being so mad. “You can’t be my wholeworld! You can’t selfishly want to be my wholeworld! The thing is, Myungsoo, you’re not my whole world! I have my own world outside you, without you! I have my rights of wanting to have my own space.”

“I’m your everything! I should be!”

“No, you’re not my everything! I don’t want you to be my whole world, my everything! You can’t take my everything away, Myungsoo!”

“Don’t ever hang out with him again!”

“And what about you?! You hang out with every girl out there! They adore you, Myungsoo and you don’t see that?!” Jieun yelled on top of her lungs. Her high-pitched screams echoed, yet he still barked back, louder than he already was. “You met your co-actresses everyday, you hang out with everyone everyday, and I trust you! I never ask you to stop contacting them! It’s because I trust you!”

“But I don’t trust you!” He exclaimed which deeply hurt her. “He can take you away from me and I don’t want that! You shouldn’t be looking at other man. I’m your one and only!”

“Why are you being so selfish, Myungsoo?”

“I’m being selfish?” He rolled his eyes, barking back with sarcastic tone. “You’re the one being selfish.”

“When I get back together with you, I thought we’re ready for everything else. It feels like I’m living off a romance novel with so many dramas, that I feel like we can handle little things. We made the rules Myungsoo, follow it.” Jieun sighed when he protested again, with words that fueled her anger even more. “If we can’t handle things like this, what’s the point of making up?! Maybe it’s true, we weren’t meant to be! Maybe we should just break up!” She screamed.

It stopped. For a moment or two, it stopped. All the screaming and loudness stop for a moment and silence feel the emptiness. Clearly, both of them were taken aback. What she had just said shocked Myungsoo and she was shocked too. Jieun quickly covered with both hands, regretting what she said. Myungsoo was stuttering, trying to get over it, but failed.

“I… I…” But still, she was one tired young lady, and he was one immature young man. “Maybe you’re right. I… When you dated me, I was supposed to be your whole world, Jieun!”

“Enough!” She screamed again, twice. He stopped protesting, soon after he saw tears trickling down her cheek. She was crying, not because she was a crybaby, but rather she was too tired. The emotion and anger she pilled up day by day suddenly burst. She didn’t know whether screaming could help her, so she cried. She let it all out. “Enough…” Her voice cracked and trembled.

“Rule #3: Believe in each other. Do you know why I made that? Because I know, Myungsoo-ah, I know how important it will be to us. It’s the entertainment world; we’ll be meeting a lot of handsome man and beautiful woman. We will be meeting each other rarely. There’s no other way of making sure we are not being cheated on, other than believing each other. I thought we were strong enough after what happen, but we are just as fragile as we were.” Jieun ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door closed.

“I’m going home,” Myungsoo said with a sigh.

It was a bad fight.

***

When Jieun woke up the next morning, she felt full and tired. Something felt like it was pilled up and stuffed against her chest so she couldn’t breathe. It was suffocating and her head was heavy. She felt very tired. Maybe it was the side effects of fighting late at night. She was in no mood to get back to sleep or wake up and start her day. She wanted to stop thinking for a bit and let everything stop.

She gave it another thought – last night’s fight. Maybe she was wrong or maybe she was right, perhaps the two of them were wrong. Maybe she should be more careful about the distance, about her relationship with others. Maybe he should trust her more; maybe he should be more secured about their relationship. Maybe he was worried she might slip off again or maybe this would be another beginning of why they shouldn’t be together. But she loved him; she didn’t want this to end. No matter how dangerous this would be, she would stay until the end.

She was sure Myungsoo wouldn’t grow up anytime soon. He wouldn’t be here to apologize until it was all too late. It could be that he know, that he was wrong and he should apologize. Even if he knew, Jieun doubted he would admit it. He was still immature and childish, what an immature pride he had. Jieun often whined about it, but perhaps it was one of his traits she should love. She would always be the losing party and maybe… someday later, losing would be fun.

So, she came. She came to his place early in the morning, an hour before her manager would start calling her phone or banging on her door, rushing her. After a four hour sleep, the longest she had since months, she came to his place in very simple clothing. Of course, she kept herself low.

“Hey,” She greeted awkwardly when their eyes met. He stared at her with anxious eyes, then pulled her into a long hug. He missed her. He missed how it feels like to touch her skin. She knew. She knew.

“I know,” Myungsoo said and squeezed her petite figure. She tip-toed a bit, balancing their height. “I know,” He whispered again, leaning on her petite body and inhaled her scent deeply. “I’m sorry. I’m just afraid you might slip off again.”

She reached for his back and wrapped her arms around him. He felt warm again, finally. Something still weighs against her chest, but it was so much better. “I’m sorry, too.”

“Did the two of you fight again?” Sungyeol rolled his eyes, seeing the scene the lovebirds create in the morning. “Geez, can never be bored about you two.”

“Can’t you just stop bothering their moment?” Sungjong flicked the older forehead and sat down, enjoying the romantic scene with much passion. “They are so sweet, aren’t they?”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Sungyeol stated.

“What? Because of them? Come on, they are so lovely~” Sungjong sighed.

“Because of you, lemon boy!” Sungyel barked back.

“Boys! Everybody get ready in 10 minutes! I just got a call from the broadcasting company! Schedules are shifted!” Suddenly, the voice brought horror upon them. He was not supposed to be here, the way she wasn’t supposed to be here. When their eyes met, they were all doomed. “IU-ssi?!” Their manager shrieked.

Author Note

I got no comment at all last chapter, not even one. It upset me a little, but oh well people have life outside AFF and maybe they're busy. I've no idea if this story has become too boring or too messy for you, but I'd like to hear some feedback. So please DO leave COMMENTS and FEEDBACK! Thank you!