“So how’s your week?” Myungsoo asked, as he hands her the bubble tea they bought from the nearest stall.

“It’s better than expected. Actually, it’s a lovely week.” Jieun smiled, taking a sip of the bubble tea, then smile in delight. “This is good. How’s yours?”

“Well, this week has been tough for me and… them. It didn’t go that well, things just got rusty. But oh well, let’s just put that aside. I just want to have fun and date today. Where do you want to go?” He ruffled her hair and intertwined their fingers.

“You should tell me about it. I was surprised to see you this morning, in front of the dorm with people looking weirdly at... us… I mean at you. You look stressed.”

“My girlfriend is the best. I feel like they’re all looking at you. Hold on to me tight, I’m scared you might get stolen.”

“Cheesy.”

“But you love me.”

“Still cheesy.”

“I love you.”

The three words managed to startle Jieun. Their rare meetings have caused them to become sensitive and shy. Jieun rarely told him how much she loves him, and so does he. Since those became rare, his acts often startled her. She shut at lost for words, looking away from his deep gaze shyly, hiding her face that turns pinkish. Myungsoo found it cute, but then he could feel his own heart accelerating.

“Well… I do too.” She shyly replied and waves her hand.

“You’re cute. Well, did you make any friends? I only got the INFINITE all the time. I should hang out with others sometime… They’re being annoying these days.”

“I do!” Jieun punched the air in excitement. She brightens up and smiles widely. “I do! Not much, but I do!”

Myungsoo shook his head, trying to hold his laughter seeing how childish Jieun can become at times. She has been nervous, whether it will be a lonely life or a rather fun one, she must be at ease now that she has managed to make some friends. She rarely opens up, which makes it harder to approach her. Even Myungsoo finds it quite hard to approach her, well back in the days; he even used the wrong methods.

“Who is it?! You seem to like her a lot.”

“It’s not her, it’s him!” She pouted, and then chuckled. “Cheondong, his name is Cheondong. He’s great! He’s a very fun person.”

“I don’t like him.” Myungsoo rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Why? You don’t even know him. You should meet up with him.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Come on… it’s not that bad.”

“It is… since he’s a man.”

“Oh, there you go! Being all obsessed and jealous.”

“Describe him, then. Maybe I’ll change my mind… a bit.”

“He’s kind. He has the talent. He’s nice. He’s fun to hang out with. We share a lot of thing in common, so we got along well. And… he’s handsome.”

“Hah! He’s handsome! That makes him even more dangerous. Stay away from him, Jieun. Or do you want me to kiss you in front of him? He needs to know you are mine and mine only.”

“You sure can be annoying at times.”

“What did you call me?”

“Annoying.”

“I’m sad.”

“He’s handsome. In fact, he’s a lot better than you. I think I picked the wrong man.” Jieun chuckled, pecking his cheek before running away from his grasp, causing him to chase her around.

“Don’t you dare, Lee Ji Eun!” He grinned, ready to chase her around.

***

The room was empty and the surrounding atmosphere was tense. The walls were painted in pure white color and a huge mirror was placed covering one side of the room. A sofa was placed by the window and a guitar case was placed next to it. There was a small rounded table next to it; the coffee seems to have gotten cold. Again, it was raining, the raindrops kissing the window glass. She was all alone.

A sighs escape her pink lips, her gaze was different from usual. She looked tired and rather stressed. She seems to have a lot in mind, as she seems to continuously lose her weight. Her sigh was heavy, it contained lots of burden. On her lap was her guitar, with the new identity of hers carved on it. She wasn’t pleased at all; in fact she wanted to run away for a while, to have breaks. She needed the breaks, before starting all over again, yet then the world has never had a break, so does time.

The room felt slightly bigger than usual, with nervousness and loneliness creeping up to her. She felt lonely and she didn’t like it at all. Lonely used to be her friends, yet ever since Woohyun and Jiyeon came to her life, loneliness became a distant friend. And ever since Kim Myungsoo invaded her private life, loneliness became a stranger. Another heavy sighs escaped her lips and echoed loudly through the room. She closed her eyes, trying to get some fresh air inside the suffocating atmosphere.

Next to her were papers, music sheets which she has to work harder on for the next few weeks. It has caused her to be slightly dizzy, she was tired watching all those notes and symbols, she was tired playing her guitar. She took a deep breath and stared at her pretty little fingers, it was covered in bandages. She hurt them from time to time, leaving scratches and marks that are yet to heal.

Her brown orbs were lifeless; different from how it was months ago. It has been months; in fact it has almost been a year since the last time she went out on a date with Myungsoo. Well, she was used to it. They used to be in a long-distanced relationship and they rarely made contacts with each other. She was slightly tired thinking about him, worrying about him, caring about their relationship. It’s not as if she has stopped loving him, yet lots have come to mind. She needed a break to think about everything, about life.

She could understand Myungsoo, she grew closer these days, although the two remains distant. She could understand those days when he seems so happy yet stressed, those days when he became very distant. She understands him, when he told her a lot has come to his mind ever since he became a trainee. A lot, too, came to her mind few weeks after she became a trainee. Life became so much harder and somehow complex.

She hummed some random tune to ease herself. Her vocals have gotten better, compared to how it used to be. She hated to be the centre of attention and soon she might have no choice but to became one. She was slightly afraid, she wonders if she could actually handle the crowds well. She looked up to the gloomy sky, only to find it grew even gloomier. She traces the raindrops with her fingers, has life became even harder?

She has spent nights sleepless, she missed out meals and hang outs at times. Jiyeon has been trying to take her out for the past two weeks, yet she keeps refusing. As a friend, Jieun was thankful Jiyeon was not forceful, somehow she could understand her. They remained close and at times, Jiyeon would dropped by to visit, as her boyfriend was still somewhere in Europe doing some projects. But these days, it will soon be the end of the year, and Jiyeon has become busier.

She stared down at her phone, hesitating. But then, she unlocks it as she pressed some random number and brings it closer to her ear. The beeping sound seemed to match her anxious heartbeat.

“Hello?”

***

Myungsoo was tired and grumpy, the INFINITE was grumpier though. They were angry at their CEO, it seems he was bribing them by saying they are going to debut soon and they needs to work hard. It was revealed recently, how they are not going to debut for at least one more year. It will be a one more year of working hard before debuting. Although they have a long path to go, working hard is something necessary yet they doubt lies are necessary to keep them on track.

“We’re being lied at.” Hoya groaned, still annoyed at the fact that they are being fooled.

“Still, we need to work hard.” Sunggyu tried to encourage them.

“I doubt lying was necessary.” Sungyeol whined.

“But somehow it works. We work twice harder than usual.” Woohyun practically rolled his eyes, annoyed at the fact that they were completely fooled.

“We… are fools.” Dongwoo let out a sarcastic laughs.

“So, in the end, are we allowed to lie? My parents teach me not to lie and you guys will scold me if I lie… but our CEO lie to us so why can’t I?” The youngest whine, asking question with all the innocence he had.

“Well, I guess… under certain circumstances… we can.” Myungsoo sighed.

“So… have you ever lied to Jieun noona before?”

“Damn, that idiot maknae!” Sungyeol shot a glare.

“Well… I don’t really want to talk about it. But then, I think I have. It was wrong though.”

“Oh… how is she doing? Things are going pretty fine, aren’t they?”

Myungsoo heave a sighs, it’s been too long since the last time they meet. Well, he was busy since he got fooled with those debuts preparation. She didn’t contact him that often either, it will always be late at night with texts that will hurts his finger later in the morning. She was rather quiet, but well it has been this way for the past two years, where the two have been leading a long-distanced relationship. Somehow, he was used to it, yet he can’t help but to simply miss her.

“The two of you are in Seoul, yet you look as if you are leading a long-distanced relationship.” Hoya remarks, “busy. Busy. I know she’s busy. Has she ever been not busy? I doubted that.” He scoffs.

“Well, I was busy this time around. She was… free. Her trainee days have just begun.”

“How long has it been? A year?”

“7 months since the last time I saw her. It means… she has been a trainee for 10 months.”

“Texts or calls?” Sungyeol rolled his eyes, “you two are complicated.”

“Texts. Well, at least we got along just fine.” Myungsoo hit him hard on the head.

“Ouch! Idiot, that hurts!”

“Your fault.”

Myungsoo could only sigh. Their relationship has been rather complicated for the past few years, from those thrilling almost-break-up moments, to burdensome one, or at times the sweet moments. If he was about to illustrate their relationship, then maybe rollercoaster will be a perfect description. He could feel the thrilling sensation of the ups, yet it went down without any notice. It was scary, he wouldn’t deny that. He, too, would be lying if he ever said he never thinks of breaking up. There were times when he simply needed a break, from life, and from everything.

But then, he had to be thankful. Thanks to those mixed feelings he often undergoes, she became even more precious. She grew precious in his heart. It was day by day, bit by bit, when out of his insecurity, she grew close and precious. She became important, he realized her importance in his life. She took her role, taking over his life, and he was sure enough that living without her probably will be impossible. Sometimes, even his own feelings could leave him speechless.

A smirk form his red lips, he never knew love could be this much crazy. He was once unable to believe in love, but then he fall for her without knowing it. It happened in a blink of an eye, without any preparation, without any desire, he simply fall for her. He has to admit he grew stupid ever since he accepted his feelings years ago. He has done countless wrong methods to win her heart, then waited for those longs years patiently, he has even hurt her. How blind was he? Moreover, how naïve was he? Even until now, doubts would still creep up to him each time he lets the word “love” escape his heart to his lips. As far as he knows, she is an important person.

Their conversation continued as Myungsoo has dozed off, somewhere else with lots of things on mind. It was a noisy day, as usual. As soon as they gather together, they became bunch of prankster, childish enough to disturb others and at times, they would laugh each time their sunbae scolded them. Myungsoo didn’t mind though, rather than trying to hush them down, he enjoyed it. Those days when he could simply chill out, pull of pranks, creating some ruckus… Well, he was too old for them now. High school days, it felt nostalgic right now.

His strands of thoughts, his enjoyment of the precise moment and nostalgia was immediately stopped when his phone suddenly vibrates, followed by its loud ringtone that for some maybe quite annoying. It took him an exact three seconds to react to it and found his friends staring at him with an annoyed look, begging for him to turn it off or at least pick it up at a faster pace. Myungsoo cracks a smile in amusement, seeing how annoyed they looked was somehow fun. He took a glance at his phone, to find her name beautifully written on it.

They could see it, the glimpse of light that quickly enlighten his dark orbs. It has been long since the last time they saw his sparks, something he would only give to her. Their gazes soon soften, knowing how happy he must be. Jieun rarely calls; it has always been him, the one who would calls while Jieun would only text.

“It’s Jieun.” He murmurs, then quickly excused himself to find some privacy in midst of the crowd who loves to intrude his privacy.

***

He knew she wasn’t feeling well. Her voice didn’t sound right, it was clear and soothing like usual, but something about it seemed out of place. She seemed to be down, worrying about some matters, anxiously trying to settle some matter on her own yet miserably failed. Myungsoo knew she tried to hide it from him, for his best too. She didn’t want to be a trouble and maybe she wasn’t ready. He tried to dig deeper, but she pushed him away.

She was shaken, in state of shock Myungsoo would say, judging from her shaking voice and also her being hesitant. She rarely opens up, Myungsoo knew that, maybe it was a habit. She lived almost all her life being alone, being dependable rather than depending. Being the oldest she is, she was force to face all of her problems alone, no matter how frustrating and hard it was. Maybe, it has affected her a lot, which caused her to rarely opens up to anyone.

He stayed silent for a while, helping her to calm down before continuing their conversation. Actually, all she had said was a friendly “hello”, yet he could already sense it – something was out of place. It was then, five minutes after the long silence, she managed to calm down and let some words escape her lips – things that she needed to say.

“I’m debuting.”

Author Note

How was it? Truthfully, my confidence keeps on dropping each time I wrote a new chapter. I don't think I improved these days, rather I think my skills have been decreasing. Hopefully, I'm wrong. I don't feel satisfied, once again. But hopefully, I could please my readers. I think my stories lacks quality, especially now. Can someone please encourage me to write? School is over yet I'm here thinking about too much things.