He once stated, if one day she became a brighter star, then he’d truly give up on her. He knew the day was coming, nevertheless, it coming this fast was not something he has expected. It was so much of a nightmare. He knew this was coming; somehow it was a fearful thing to be happening. He couldn’t have prevented it. He couldn’t have done a thing about it. All he has ever done and all he could do were to let it all happen. And it happened.

She became a brighter and a bigger smile, which mean he would have to give up on her soon. A heart that was chained to hers, soon he will have to find a way to break the chain and move on. How about her? He didn’t know and he wouldn’t want to know. He was afraid what comes next may hurt them both.

The evening was peaceful, the first peaceful evening he had enjoyed after months of busyness taking over him. Peacefulness has been such a rare thing ever since they debuted, and loneliness seemed to be their only friend. Of course they had fans, but sometimes the more they grew, the lonelier it became. There was this particular emptiness, waiting to be filled, yet the day will never come. He had started to understand what Jieun used to mean by “missing home”.

A cup of coffee and the peacefulness was enough to lift half of the burden that had been bothering him for the past months. It was just him, his cup of coffee, and the emptiness of his soul. He was here again, out of his consciousness, he went to their favorite coffee shop. It was still the same, the same old-fashioned coffee shop with absolutely delicious taste of coffee. The smell was somehow soothing. He stared outside the window, being a realist, to enjoy and embraced the reality.

He never knew how quickly time could pass by. Two months ago, they were very busy promoting and suddenly it has ended. Changes took place, as how Jieun had reminded them before. And how he wished some things could remain the same, but it was too late. During the two weeks when they were working harder to become more popular and successful, Lee Ji Eun shot up to fame even more. Lee Ji Eun, IU, The Nation Little Sister. Over one night, she became famous.

The familiar music filled the air. The music was cheerful yet the lines were gloomy, a story of an unrequited love. Why did the song represent him so much? His love for her was once requited, wasn’t it? So, was it fine to call his love to be unrequited? It wasn’t even one-sided, was it?

“I’m in my dream~”

He smiled upon hearing the wonderful lines that ring in his ear. Her voice, her charming voice that used to sooth him. He missed it. Sipping his cup of coffee, he heaved another sigh. It’s time to move on, Kim Myungsoo.

***

A hundred and sixty-four days. Even until now, after everything that had happened, she still kept tracks of the dates. She always remembers what day it is, how long has it been, and today marked their one hundred and sixty-four days after break up. Foolishly, she still chained her heart to his. It was a tiring thing to do. The more she tried to walk away, the stronger it became. She no longer knows what to do. It was tiring, yet she couldn’t do a thing about it.

A hundred and sixty-four days, she hasn’t seen him a lot lately. Her schedules were packed; she took less activity in broadcasting stations. It was all about the recording. The agency was planning to shot her to fame, after receiving much love in her duet “Nagging”. They wanted her to receive a lot more love.

Lee Ji Eun had a stage fright. It left scars inside, what happened two years ago, when people suddenly cursed at her, when people seemed so despicable. The longest three minutes in her life was miserable and memorable, it still hurts. She did receive lots of love after her duet with Seulong. Still, it doesn’t mean she was okay to sing alone on stage. But she knew she would have to fight it.

Inhaling deeply, she knew she would be living a whole different life ahead. Over one night, she shot up to fame. And today may be the last peaceful day she could ever had in life. Sitting at the balcony outside her room, she was enjoying the dusk. The way the sunrays blend with the clouds, creating a lovable mixture of orange and pink, even purple and blue, she spent her time enjoying it.

She remembered how it was that day, the day that twisted her fate. She remembered trembling so badly, her knees was turning weak and her heart was pounding, the images of what happened two years ago were flashing back on her mind. Seulong was there to support her, along with a couple of friends: Jonghyun, Yoseob, Jiyeon,… Woohyun was there, but no Kim Myungsoo. They gave her a reassuring smile as she sang and danced on stage. She was being extra careful; she wouldn’t want to get anything wrong, the dance step, the perfect pitch… and the three high notes.

There wasn’t any cursed or a hateful look in the audience eyes. She was happy that they were amused, that the reaction had been different to two years ago. The massive claps of the crowd was enough to sooth her trembling self. She remembered how thrilling it was to go down the stage after having a hard time climbing it up. She was greeted by hugs and words of congratulations. And she swears she couldn’t be happier, until the thoughts of him came to mind.

Sipping her cup of chamomile tea, she smiled so wonderfully. Enjoying the spring, enjoying the dusk. Soon, it will be summer. She wondered what she will be doing during summer. With the thoughts in mind, she swears she will forget about him.

***

“Unnie!”

“Pil Sukkie~!”

Jieun was wearing a pink coat, hiding her identity behind her pair of glasses. She curled her hair slightly, to bring a different look so no one could recognize her. As soon as she catches the figure of her sister, she immediately runs to hug her. It has been so long and Pil Suk was different. She was taller, bigger, and older. Jieun remembered the twelve-years-old Pil Suk back then. She was bullied, sad, and young. And now, she became a cheerful woman and Lee Ji Eun was glad.

“I miss you!” The two said in unison and giggled.

They took a cab and went back to their mansion. Although, JIeun thought it would be great if they were still leaving in the same apartment back in the days. It wouldn’t be too big or too small, just fitting for the two and she could finally feel home. The mansion had always been too big, too luxurious that she would feel lonely every now and then. But still, she was glad that Pil Suk has returned. Maybe, she’d feel less lonely.

Pil Suk plopped herself down to the couch next to Jieun. She let out a muffle moan, it was comfortable. The flight took slightly too long that she felt tired. It was barely an hour trip, yet she was tired. Jieun could see how happy her sister was to be back in town. After an emotional reunion with Mrs. Kwon, the sisters decided to have some bonding time after years of not meeting each other.

“Unnie, I heard about your song! It’s a good thing that the public love it. Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Pil Suk-ah,” Jieun smiled, “So tell me more about college. Did you meet with someone?”

“Actually, Jason is studying in Tokyo recently. So I often hang out with him, together with my friends.”

“Jason?” Jieun stated, confused. Was Wooyoung around as well? She wanted to meet him lately, to have a friendly chat, after losing contacts for almost a year. “Is Wooyoung oppa…”

“Nope. Jason came on his own. He’s a big boy, so he wanted to go on his own. Wooyoung oppa is doing well in London.” Pil Suk suddenly forms a smile, thinking about the man. “Jason… he became a man, unnie.”

“He has always been a man, Pil Sukkie.” Jieun giggled, ruffling her sister hair as if she was still the little Pil Sukkie. “So, you have finally started viewing him as a man. How badly it will hurt him if he knew about this.”

“Unnie!” Pil Suk complained. “Well… we were little back then… so yeah… he was actually quite charming.” Pil Suk blushed after her bold statement, causing Jieun to smile and mess with her hair even more.

“Oh, our Pil Suk has grown up. She even fell for a man.”

“Stop teasing me!” Pil Suk pouted, as the siblings burst to laughter. “Ah, right. How’s Myungsoo oppa? I thought you were coming with him.”

Kim Myungsoo.

Such a bad question at a bad timing. Jieun softly sighed, forming a bitter smile. Pil Suk immediately knew something had happened between the two recently, and it was bad idea to suddenly ask about it.

“We broke up.”

***

Although it angered her quite badly, that Kim Myungsoo ended up hurting her sister again; Pil Suk knew she couldn’t do a thing about it. Her sister was clearly hurt regarding the matter, despite it being a couple of months already.

“Are you going to stay for a while?”

“Until the break ends. So maybe I have about… a month? I decided to take my break. I think I studied too much.”

“A month?” Jieun smiled. “A month. Finally, you’re staying for a while.”

“Unnie, I’m hungry. Cook for me, okay? I want to eat your bibimbap.”

“Okay. Okay.” Jieun smiled, taking her apron as she tied it nicely. “This may be the last time I could cook before getting too busy. So be grateful you came back before I became too busy to even know you.” She jokingly stated.

“Okay.” Pil Suk smiled in return.

***

“I’m in my dream~”

JIeun smiled in satisfaction, as the crowd reacted greatly to her performance. She could hear the loud fan chants that have grown even louder. At first, she remembered hearing one single fan cheering on her. The feeling of satisfaction almost brought her to tears, as her smile widens. The spotlight dimmed and soon everything turned dark. She went down the stage after bowing to the dancer as a sign of gratitude, and even to her fans, and staff.

“Good work, Jieun-ah,” her manager cheered on her, handing her a bottle of water.

“Thank you, Oppa.” Jieun accepted it with gratitude, smiling widely, as she bowed to the sunbaes which were passing by.

It has been two weeks since the promotion, and soon it will be the third week. Performing on stage has never been this fun. The thrilling feeling at the beginning, the stage fright and everything, the overwhelming emotion at the end, she found it fun and exhilarating. Jieun was busy, so busy that Pil Suk often whined at how rare they could meet, even at home. Jieun often spent the night at her dorm, although she decided to move out soon. She has been seeing some scary things.

“Should we hurry? They are already waiting for you in the waiting room.” Her manager dragged her to the waiting room.

Her schedules have been packed with various activities. She has been joining a few variety shows. When her activity ended, she often had to do some interviews, photo shoot, and CFs filming. Although it was tiring, she was enjoying it. There were times when she couldn’t sleep, but she was used to it. It has always been this way, from the beginning to end, break seemed to be impossible.

But what scared her was the fact that the societies are often two-faced. Now, when she was at her glorious spot, people were complimenting her, lifting her up in the clouds. Yet she knew, one day, when it all came to an end, the crowds would be competing to step on her, in the cruelest and painful way. It has only begun, so why was she thinking about the end? She had a long way to go.

Yet a part of her was wounded and bitten deeply, during the day where she was up in the clouds. She remembered it being one rainy night. The rain hasn’t stopped since yesterday. It was affecting her schedules, yet she didn’t mind. She loved the rain. And even for a brighter and bigger star, the rain could be a perfect fit for the loneliness and emptiness that would fill her heart every now and then.

Her schedules ended early that day, around two o’clock in the morning. It should be considered early, since it often didn’t end even after a day or two. She was tired, and the dorm has been giving her goose bumps. She kept seeing weird things that it scared her. She went home, taking a cab in the middle of the night and plopped herself down on her comfortable bed, right after arriving home.

Pil Suk was already asleep and Mrs. Kwon requested for a break, since she had some matters to take care of back in her hometown. Jieun thought it’s about time for the woman to go back home and rested for a bit. She has been working for them over years without a break. She must have missed home, so Jieun decided to send her home, together with the butlers and maids. It wouldn’t be so bad, she thought.

Her decision has never been so wronged.

Around three o’clock in the morning, Pil Suk was fast asleep, while Jieun was already half-asleep. She was tired, yet being awake for a few days has caused a few trouble. She suffered insomnia before and out of habit, sleeping can be hard at times. It’s been an hour, yet she was still half-asleep. Her eyelids were closing, and her breath turned steady. She knew she’d be able to sleep soon.

But a knock was what it takes to suddenly shot her up, wide awake. Jieun wondered who will it be at times like this. It won’t be some kind of stalker since she never had one, and she never went straight home. It would be hard to figure her home. So maybe it would be one of her maids or butlers, although she doubts they would bother her at this hour. She was about to ignore the knocks for her own safety reason and she was too tired to walk down the stairs.

Yet it turned furious, the knocking was. It became faster and somehow full of anger. It actually startled her. She wondered who it was. Despite her dead-tired body, she managed to drag herself down the stairs, almost stumbling on her own steps from time to time. The knocks soon stopped, replaced by the echoing sound of the doorbell.

Quickly, Jieun took a peak at the door.

***

It was the first time she has seen him after years, but could she even let him in? It’s been so long that she could barely remember who he was. She stood frozen, with the cold wind passing through her. It brushed her skin, grazing it, and Jieun could feel how strong it was that her skin almost bleeds. Her heart stop, her body stood frozen, she stared at the man with wide eyes. She didn’t know what to do. There were words badly wanted to come out of her lips, but she held it in.

“Unnie… who is it?” Pil Suk voice slowly reached her, snapping her out of her daydream.

“Pil Sukkie,” Jieun tone of voice turned serious and rather deadly, as if she was warning her younger sister not to move any closer. “Get back in,” she turned around, facing her sister with the most serious pair of eyes.

Yet the younger stood frozen. She could see a glimpse of the man at their doorstep. She remembered him, who he was and what he meant to the siblings. Her sister remained still at the doorstep, unwilling to let the man in, yet she didn’t have the courage to cast him away. She simply stood there, and her younger sister stood behind her, both too shock to do anything.

“Father…” it escaped Pil Suk lips slowly as Jieun tense up as the sound of it.

It was… their father.

Jieun silently gripped on her heart tighter, so she wouldn’t look so weak in front of this man. She clenched her fist until her knuckles turn white and pressed her lips until it became pale. The man in front of her, she barely had any memory of him, but it was enough for her to recognize him. It only took her a moment to actually figure who he really was, the man standing on their doorstep.

She barely remembered what kind of man her father was. All she knew was he remarried a woman in Japan after divorcing her mother. She used to hate him for that, yet the more she grew, the more she tried to understand. She imagine her father as a man with pride, a handsome and clever man, charming and full of pride, confident. A man has to be at least that much for her mother to actually fall for him. Her mother always sounded so great. She thought, although her parents are divorced, she wanted them to live well, she wanted her father to be a prideful man.

But the man who was standing by her doorsteps… wasn’t a prideful man. He was drunk; Jieun almost cringed when she opened the door. The smell was unbearable that she wanted to run away quickly, but her legs wouldn’t move. He had this pair of eyes that reflected so much of an emotion, of anger, of sadness and pain, of desperation, and of lust. She found herself slowly fearing it. The pair of eyes that looked so similar to Pil Suk’s, yet so different.

“Father…” she remembered the first time she let it slips off her tongue and how he reacted wildly to it. Her voice was weak, yet the way he reacted scared her.

“YOU!” he screamed and she pressed her lips even tighter. He was drunk, he could barely stand still, and now he was pointing his finger at her. He stumbled again, but she did nothing to help him. She was afraid.

…. Slap!

It happened and the sound of it echoed through the silent night. Pil Suk gasped, as her sister expression darken. She tried to help her, but Jieun immediately yelled at her so she wouldn’t come closer. Jieun softly sighed, letting a bitter sweet smile form on her lips. It’s been years since they saw each other, so this is what she received. She touched her cheek and cringed at the pain. Her mother was often cruel; she never knew her father was almost the same or maybe worse.

“YOU!” Again, he pointed his finger at her. “Who do you think you are?!” He yelled, grabbing her by the wrist. His grip was too strong that Jieun yelped at the suddenly force. His words hurt her, she was his daughter after all.

Without any permission, he entered the house. He invaded it as if it was his, as if everything belonged to him, and he could do whatever he wanted. Jieun knew the mansion belong to her mom, not her father. She yelped at the brutal force that continued to abuse her. Her arms were hurting; she tried to wriggle free, to earn more slaps, and even more pain.

“Pil Suk, get inside!” Jieun yelled, as her father throws her to the couch. Her back hit the hard part of it, and once again she yelped. “Pil Suk, I said get inside!” She knew what she had to do, she needed to at least protect her sister. They were both shock, but the most important thing was to get a grab of them.

“Who do you think you are?!” He yelled again, slapping her and hitting her. She didn’t responded, she remained silent and still. “Who do you think you are?! Something I could be proud of? Damn, don’t joke around with me!” He continued to abuse her with his brutal voice. She didn’t cry, she didn’t let out any sound. She feared she might look weak, she feared she might break down. She was at the edge of breaking down.

Her legs were kicked and her arms were being gripped strongly. Her back hit the wall multiples time, as he kept on lifting her up, pushing her around, it hurt. “Who are you to destroy me? She was angry because I told her my daughter look so good on TV! Tell me, what was so good about your three high notes?!” He lifted her by the wrist, forcing her to get up. “Nothing!!” He yelled, “Nothing! Your three high notes wasn’t that good, do you know that?! You are no-good, yet you ruined me!”

“You know what…” she hated his voice, it hurt. “I’ve never been proud of you. Just because you did something right, doesn’t mean I’m proud of you.” he said it and she knew she was breaking down. For god sake, he was her father.

“Unnie!” Pil Suk screamed, sobbing. “Dad, please stop. Just stop.” She cried.

The front door was still opened, the rain was still pouring. Jieun could feel the gush of the cold wind, as her father prey upon her sister. She was weak, but she wouldn’t let her sister get hurt. It has been traumatizing for them both, what used to happen to her, and how much they have been hurting. Abuse has always been an issue between them. Jieun wouldn’t let Pil Suk suffered again.

“Oh, dear… see who this is…” He snapped, grabbing Pil Suk by the hair. Why was he being so brutal? Seeing a tear rolled down her cheek seemed to motivate him even more. “Kim Pil Suk, our dearest maknae.”

“Dad… please.”

“I’m not your dad anymore! Do you think you are my daughter?!” He screamed and Pil Suk cried even more. Jieun was still in the cornered of the room, trying to suppress the pain that climbed up to her head. “You’re ugly, unsuccessful, and stupid. Do you think you still have the rights to become my daughter?!”

Pil Suk cried and Jieun has had enough. He shouldn’t have said something about her sister being ugly. It was a disrespectful thing. Jieun would prefer him saying they are not his daughter, rather than him mocking on Pil Suk. Pil Suk started to cry harder, her sobs echoed through the mansion, suppressed by the rain.

“Get off her!” With all her strength, she pushed him off her sister. His eyes fell upon her and she knew she has become his new target. She softly smiled to her crying sister, knowing her sister was finally saved. “Run, Pil Suk. Don’t worry about me, just run. Please.” With those words, her sister’s figure soon receded to a distance. She knew Pil Suk will be safe, at least away from this monster.

“How dare you!” Her father screamed and Jieun wriggled under his force. “How could you remind me so much of that woman? Your… lips… Your skin… Your hair… Your face.” He spit and she managed to dodge him. He dragged her by her clothes, causing it to be slightly torn apart. “What can you do for me?”

She knew she had to run away. She pushed his weight off her petite body, desperately running away from him. He caught her couple of times, but she managed to yank his grip on her. With one slammed at the door, closing it tight, she whispered to herself. “Just rest, please. You’re drunk.”

Her father was not a prideful man, he was despicable. Or was it the alcohol?

***

She has always been alone, she rarely relied on others. And now, she was out in the rain, feeling cold and fragile. She was sad, but she found it needless to cry since the rain was pouring. She was hurt, but somehow the rain soothed her. She was wet and cold, trying to find shelter early in the morning. And she realized she had nowhere to go.

She didn’t know how she ended up being in this place. She was standing in front of the doorstep, of a very familiar place. She knew she shouldn’t have come here, yet out of instincts she seek for safety and her feet brought her to this place. She has been wandering around for half an hour in the opened rain. She was cold and she turned pale.

She knocked on the door with much hesitation. She was thankful the street was empty since it was raining. She was slightly afraid, if she has to meet another drunk man in the alley. It was a small alley, isolated from the rest. Jieun had a bad feeling, so she knocked harder and quicker. She knew she would regret this later or maybe she would feel so burdensome, but she has nowhere to go.

“Jieun!” She immediately looked up to find a man’s figure in front of her. She was still trembling out of fear. The man stared at her in shock. “What happened?” He questioned her, as he wrapped her with his jacket and guided her in.

“Woohyun,” her voice sounded weak. “I’m scared.” 

Author Note

It's been a while since I left an author note behind. I'd like to say thanks to all who have been reading all this time! Especially those who have been leaving comments. I know this story is kind of draggy and all of you are eager to see a reunion of MyungU... but please be patient. They will be reunited for sure, but it will takes time. I'm having a hard time writing these days, so I'd be pleased if all of you could be patient. Anyway, who missed out Pil Sukkie?! She hasn't appeared for so long kekeke... So here's a chapter with our Pil Sukkie... and as always angst angst angst! Goodbye! Happy reading, guys!