Have three-minutes ever been longer?

It was the longest three minutes in her life. Her heart was somehow heavy, her energy was drained out of her petite body, her breathing was heavy and tired. She let the sigh escaped her lips, as she put her microphone away; the song was coming to an end. The heavy music was soon gone, leaving her alone in the pure darker silence, with the audience being unpleased with her presence.

She should fade and disappear, as quickly as possible. There was no clap or applaud for her, not even the slightest appreciation for the hard work she has poured into. They stared at her in cold gazed, trying to kill her with their harmful gaze. She was hurt. Moreover, she was sorry to them. She was sorry that she has brought unpleasant performance, she was sorry she annoyed them.

As soon as the lights went off and the camera fades away, she rushed off the stage, to the backstage where her staff was waiting, nervously watching her. She, too, was feeling sorry toward them. They poured a lot of hard work for her to succeed, yet she disappoints them by failing. It was her, unable to appreciate others hard work. She deserved it, the crowds’ unwelcoming reaction toward her.

Yet what hurt her the most was the fact that Myungsoo was not there. It will cost him a great explanation for her to understand. Usually, it would be her, understanding all of his actions, yet this time she’s the one who is having a hard time. It would be hard for her to understand him and everything that had happened. Even now, she was blaming herself for something she didn’t do wrong.

She took a glance at the staff, who looked worried and some others who looked her in pity. She hated those. Did she look like someone who needed comfort and pity so badly? She has been going through this over and over again for the past years of living, she was alone at all time, and she did not need those comfort and pity. She was fine on her own, even if she isn’t, she has to be. There was no space for sadness or pity, for leisure, it was her on her own, and if she ever breaks down, it will be the end for her.

“You did great,” her manager said with a smile.

She looked down upon his encouragement. It was a lie; she did not need a lie. Weren’t the crowd’s curses enough to describe how much of failure she was? It was not a successful debut, it was a failure. She scoffed, knowing how true the fashion industry was, about her decision to take a hiatus. Articles may come out by tomorrow morning, mocking how stupid she was. She forced a smile and rushes off somewhere else. Her steps were faster than before, as if she was trying to run away from reality.

***

The room was once again in pure silence. She was inside, the room was stuffed with her and her staff, it became full and rather uncomfortable. She looked gloomy, her mood wasn’t good and somehow it affected her staff. Her manager remained silent with constant sigh as he watched her trying to handle it all on her own. He knew how hard it was for her, despite the fact that he has never experienced one.

“Can I…” she trailed off, “Can I have some time alone, please?” she requested.

The room once again falls to pure silence. Once again, she could hear the echoed of her manager sigh. “Sure. I’ll go grab some coffee for us.”

“I’m…” she closed her eyes and sighs, “sorry.”

“Is there anything you need to be sorry about?” he asked, taking her by surprise. She looked at him with a questioning look.

“It wasn’t your fault. We’re fine. You’re young and fresh, you have lots of time to reflect and start over. Uh, young people, how nice. I’m old; I should find a girlfriend and get married soon.” He joked, which managed to brighten her a bit, as she smiled in return.

As soon as the room becomes empty, she heaved a sigh. It was heavy and rather tired, rather sad and gloomy. She grabbed her phone, pressing some random button before bringing it closer to her ear.

“Pil Sukkie?”

***

Searching for her was harder than he thought it could be. She rushed off backstage faster than he expected. He missed her after seconds of running, since she was faster. She disappeared from his sight, leaving him with troubles to search for her. Not to mention, it was quite troublesome to deal with those guards despite him having the backstage clearance with some help from Jiyeon.

The last one from this corridor was what the guards told him, yet he found no sign of her. Those doors were tightly closed; names of famous singers were stuck on it. Yet he spent no interest upon them. He wanted to see her to make sure she is fine after those horrible crowd curses. He was thinking hard of how to comfort her. He knew better than anyone that Lee Ji Eun hated to be pitied and at times the wrong way of comforting can annoy her.

“Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.” He sighs, “Yeah!”

He was about to knock and barged in, yet he stopped himself after hearing her soft sobbing. It must be hard on her, that she cried. She was one of the strongest he has ever known, she rarely cries. If she does, then it must have been very precious. He remained silent on the door, taking some time before comforting her. Firstly, he needed to let her have some time alone.

***

She was delighted at the fact that her sister calls after a long time. She was having some fun in Japan; her life has changed a lot. Yet no matter how fun it was, she couldn’t help but to miss her sister. Kim Pil Suk missed Lee Ji Eun, but she knew her sister was too busy. It prevented her from contacting her sister and finally after a long time they could talk to each other.

“Pil Sukkie,” Jieun called her out, somehow it was comforting and nice.

“Unnie! How are you? I miss you!” She was still that childish Kim Pil Suk, no matter how you look at it.

“I’m… fine! It’s nice to hear you. How are you? Are you okay? Are you having fun?” Jieun sighs, her voice was shaking, “Is it nice living there?”

“Unnie, are you okay? You sound… different.”

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” Jieun replied, only to break down even more.

“Well, if you say so. Unnie, its fun living here! I’m so happy! You should come and visit some time, when you are free! Oh and I heard from Myungsoo oppa that you’re debuting today! You must be nervous! I’m wishing you the best!”

Jieun smiled, Kim Pil Suk was still the cheerful girl she knew. She sounded very happy, living her life well, and having fun. At least, she’s happy. It was enough for Jieun.

“Hey, Pil Sukkie,” Jieun trailed off.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you back in the days. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t reliable enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t courageous enough to protect you. I’m sorry that you’re hurt, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry you have to go through those hardships. I’m sorry…” she cried.

I’m just… I’m sorry.

***

He stood there for quite a while, until he could no longer hear her soft sobbing. He was hurt, knowing how much she was hurting. He heaved a sigh as he knocked on the door and barged in. His presence took her by surprised. He quickly forced a smile; he didn’t want her to be even more upset. It was enough, today was more than enough for her.

Her eyes were still red from crying, her nose was red too, and her cheeks were stained with tears. She quickly wiped them away as soon as she noticed his presence and welcomed him with a smile. But he knew she was forcing herself to smile, he hated that. He wanted to run up to her and embraced her yet he couldn’t. She was someone else’s. He has no rights to do so.

“Woohyun! You came!” She weakly smiled, still seated on the sofa. His presence reminds her of Myungsoo.

“Jieun! Well done! That was a lovely performance! You okay? You looked nervous.” He took a seat beside her and handed her a bouquet of flowers.

“I’m… perfectly fine!” She weakly smiled. “I was nervous… but I’m okay now. Yeah, I’m okay now.”

He approaches her in a slow manner, wrapping his arm around her, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. “Jieun…” He rested his head against hers, “You do know that I know you better than anyone.”

She smiled, “I know,” shifting her head to a better position, “that’s why I told you I’m okay. Well, you do know that I’m not.”

“Tell me,”

***

Her tears weren’t meant for her own good. It wasn't for her pain, to ease her pain. She rarely cries for herself. This time, it was her guilt, her regrets, her past that clouded her thoughts, pushing her to a limit where she could no longer hold back. She was sorry for her sister, for not being good enough.

Those days when Pil Suk was desperate - the society chooses to abandon and made fun of her, where she was bullied over the edge - she should have been there. She should have been able to comfort her, to console her. Instead, she was running away from reality. She couldn't be there for her, she couldn't comfort her, she wasn't good enough. She couldn't understand her pain, she wasn't good enough.

She cried each night, as she watched Pil Suk suffers. She cried out of sympathy, yet she was unable to put herself in her shoes. She couldn't understand her feelings, not good enough. She let her down. Pil Suk was all alone when all the bullying happens. Lee Ji Eun is a failure as a sister.

But today, she grows to understand her. She understands all those pain, all those longing nights which cried was the only thing that echoed through the darkness. She understands how painful it must be, that Pil Suk attempted a suicide. She understands them and she felt sorry. She could've done better then maybe the two of them didn't need to suffer. Yet it was too late.

When the crowd cursed out to her, rather than being hurt, she thinks of her little sister. When they threw her a cold gaze, she grows to understand her little sister. When her song ends, she wanted to see her little sister and said sorry. She was sorry.

"I was… a very bad sister. I felt bad, Woohyun. I..."

"Shhtt," he hushed her and planted a kiss on her forehead, "let's just rest and forget everything. Pil Suk loves you. You shouldn't regret anything."

She shifted her head to a better position. She looked up, to find his sweet gaze. "Thank you," she shut both her eyes closed and drifted off to dreamland.

***

"Where have you been?" Myungsoo shot a glare, toward the man who has just arrived home.

It was late at night, almost midnight. Woohyun has just arrived home, after spending a day with Jieun. Myungsoo was not there for her, not even phone call after the show or even a "sorry" for not coming earlier.

Myungsoo was not pleased, knowing Woohyun may have been with Jieun all day long and it was true. Woohyun was with her and it seems the two was having lots of fun. Woohyun seems happy and Myungsoo did not like his smile. He wanted to wipe it off his face, in a cruel and violent way if possible.

"You know where I have been," Woohyun replied, practically rolling his eyes at him. "Jieun's.”

"Until late at night? What are you doing?" Myungsoo fold his arms and leaned back against the wall, in an arrogant manner.

"Are you questioning me?" Woohyun took a step closer, "don't you feel guilty? I visited her and you... and where were you?"

A rush of guilt flows and hit him hard. He was wrong for not coming to visit her, breaking promises despite him being able to fulfill them. He had enough time, yet for some reason he did not come.

"You do know why I can't come," Myungsoo sighs. Woohyun shook his head and shot him a disappointed gaze, expressing his dissatisfaction. He took steps backward, walking away from the guilty man.

"Jieun... how is she?" He asked, looking down. Yes, he knows, it wasn't a good enough reason.

Woohyun stopped his tracks, turning his head to face him. "You're her boyfriend. You're supposed to know how she's doing."

Myungsoo looked down, guilty and sad. "Woo.." he stopped himself. "Woohyun... are you by any chance..."

"No. She's yours. I don't have any rights to do so." He answered. The silence filled the atmospehere for awhile. Then he continued, "There are a lot of things man can do to make a woman happy. The usual things: flowers, kisses, dress, chocolates, and promises you don't intend to keep."