If I Fall [25]
If I Fall
Myungsoo's POV
"I'm good, and happy... I'm happy with Donghae." Yoona said as she smiled happily.
Donghae?
She's happy with Donghae?
How about me?
"Myungsoo, please. Let me go." Yoona said with her hands crossed together. In a praying position. Tears are forming on the side of her eyes.
"Myungsoo.."
"....."
"I'm sorry. But let's.."
I can feel my heart beating. It hurts. I don't want to hear what she is going to say. I don't want to. Please tell me I'm only dreaming. Please..
"breakup.."
Breakup? Ha. She said breakup.
. I want to shout. I want to get mad. I want to break everything on my sight.
What should I tell her? Okay. Fine. Take care? . This isn't nice. Tell me that I'm dreaming. Tell me the cold air of Paris just got in my head.
"Yoona. What happened? What happened to us? Why... why do we end up like this?" I said as tears starts to fall from my eyes. "... The last thing I know, before you went and leave Korea, we're okay. *huk* We're happy. You even promised that you'll comeback for me. *huk* What.. WHAT THE HAPPENED?"
"Yoona.. I thought you said, that we're meant to be together? I thought I'm important to you? I thought you need me *huk* I-- I thought I'm the one you're... you're gonna marry?"
She looked at me with sad face and sighed. "I'm really sorry, Myungsoo."
"Yoona.. I love you." I said as I looked at her. I know it is possible that it is the last time we will meet. That's why I want to see her face. Her beautiful face.
"Myungsoo.. You know that I love you too." She said as tears trickled down on her face.
"IF YOU LOVE ME THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? I KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, RIGHT? Then why? Yoona, why?" T_____T
"I'm sorry.. But I love Donghae more."
And that's it.
We're really over.
"You really love Donghae right? It's because even me that you love.. *huk* even me that cared for you so much.. You can just leave me for him?! I am once important to you right?" FCK.
"Yes. You are." Yoona answered as she looked down. She kept on wiping the tears thats is trickling down on her face.
"Myungsoo.. I'm really sorry. Don't get mad at me.. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I didn't mean it. I've been so selfish because I've been alone, I always feel alone but when you and Donghae came, I decided to keep you both so wherever I go, I feel loved. Sorry."
"No need to say sorry." I said. Why? Because whenever she's saying sorry. I can't resist her. I can't help but forgive her. :(
"Yoona.. So this is it. *sighs* We're over already. I'm happy because you've found someone that you can love and can love you more than I do. Don't worry, I won't get hurt, I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you to comeback to me.. Because I know.. Yoona is for Myungsoo.. And Myungsoo is for Yoona. I'll wait. *huk* I'll wait for you." I said. I can't stop my tears from falling from my eyes.
It hurts. It ing hurts.
From now on, I don't own Yoona anymore. I won't have someone to hug when I'm sad. I don't have someone to call at 3am because we miss each other so much. I don't have someone to watch me play basketball. What else? What else do I have to lose? Ah! I'll lose a part of my life--- no. I mean, scratch that. I'll lose my life.
I'll lose my happiness.
I'll lose my strength.
Oh c'mon.
I'll lose my strength? My happiness? Only that?!
God knows I can still live my life without those things!
Yes. I can live my life without those things and without Yoona..
But I won't be happy. And it will be boring as hell..
"Wipe your tears now. I can see your parents and my dad coming." I said as I wipe my tears and fix myself. After a few seconds, Yoona's parents came in. My dad followed them and they sat down.
"So, how is it?" Dad asked me while he is smiling.
"Mr and Mrs. Im and Dad, sorry...
I can't marry your daughter."
Even though I want to marry her. I can't. Even though she's the only one I want to marry. I don't have a choice. She don't want me anymore.. "What?! Why?" Dad asked. Yoona's parents looked very shocked. Yoona bowed her head down.
This is it. Good thing Jiyeon is here.
"I already got a son, dad." I said.
"What the? I don't believe you." Dad said. Yoona's parents' eyes grows wider, so as Yoona's. They don't expect this.
"Wait for me here.." I said as I stood up and went to Jiyeon's table. Jiyeon looked at me with a sad face, "I heared it all." She whispered lowly.
"Yeah. That's why I'm here, asking for your help. Is it still okay?" I said as she nodded.
"Anything for you, my friend." She said as she faked a smile and stood up. I smiled back at her and mumbled, "Thanks."
I went to Mavin who is sleeping and carried him. Good thing he is sleeping. And I hope he won't hear what I'm going to say later. I carried Mavin in my arms and hold Jiyeon's hand on the other side, which is my free hand. Good thing Jiyeon plays along.
I went back to our table with Jiyeon and Mavin..
Yoona looked at us. Her eyes widen in shocked as she saw Jiyeon beside me. opened up abit in shocked. I know she can't believe it in her own eyes. That she's seeing her friend with me.
The girl that I hated at first, is here with me. Helping me.
"Dad. This is Mavin, my son." I said as I turned around abit and show him Mavin's sleeping face.
I tried not to look at Yoona. It will only hurt me..
".. And my girlfriend, Jiyeon. I'll marry her as soon as I finished studying college and already had a stable job.." I said as Jiyeon looked at them and smiled. I saw it, she and Yoona got an eye-to-eye contact.
"..so sorry Dad and Im Family if I can't marry Yoona. I already got MY Jiyeon."
"Son.. You're not joking, right?" Dad said as he stood up and came next to me.
I want to look at Yoona. But I know, I'll just get hurt, again.
"I'm not. Why would I? Sorry Dad if I didn't told you earlier. I'm scared that you might get mad and will ask me to break up and go away from Jiyeon. Sorry." I said as I bowed my head.
"How old is this kid?" Dad asked, looking at Mavin's sleeping face. I saw him smiling abit.
"2 years old." I answered. I can feel Jiyeon squeezing my hands gently. I know she can feel that I feel uneasy.
"Oh. So we don't have something to do here anymore.. Mr. Kim, you and your son disappointed us-----"
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Now, if you will excuse us. The three of us will leave now." I said. Tugging Jiyeon along.
We reached outside the restaurant. I'm still holding on Jiyeon's hand while I carry Mavin on the other side.
Her hands.. It's so warm. :)
We rode a taxi so we can reach our apartment faster. When we reached the building. We walked to our room awkwardly. No one is speaking.. I'm still holding onto Jiyeon's hand.
Whenever she's around me, I feel that..
I'm not alone. She's always there when I need her. She's really a nice friend.
'I'm happy with Donghae..'
'Myungsoo, please let me go..'
'Let's breakup.'
Those words keeps playing again in my head. I don't know what to do. Boys can cry too right?
Why? Because I want to break down now. I want to die. My life is hell without Yoona.
"Myungsoo, are you okay?" Jiyeon asked as she looked at our hands. Oh. I've been gripping on her hands too tight.
"You can cry it out, Myungie. Don't worry. I won't laugh at you, I won't judge you, I won't make fun of you if you look weird when you cry.. And...
I won't leave you alone...
I promise.." Jiyeon said.
All I know is.. I'm lucky to have Jiyeon by my side right now. Thanks. :)
-
That night. I heared someone came out. I peeked at the door to see who it is.
It's Jiyeon. Hmm. Why is she going out anyways? I got my coat and followed her. All I know is.. I need Jiyeon now. She's the only one I have now.
"Myungsoo, why are you here?" She said as she saw me following her. Psh.
"Following you." I said as we reached the park.
"Why?"
"I don't know, maybe because when I'm alone I always remember what happened awhile ago."
"Tsk. Aigoo. This slave. Come, let's go there at the swing." She said as she smiled at me and pulled next to the swing.
I sat next to her, she looked at me and smiled. "You know what, I haven't experience falling inlove yet. That's why I don't know how it hurts.. But.. One thing is for sure. If the two of you is really destined to be with each other, no matter how many hardships you got, you will still end up with each other. But if not, you have no choice but to open your heart and love another person."
I don't know why but I suddenly stand up and pulled her for a hug.
"Jiyeon-ah, don't leave me okay?" And That's it. My tears are betraying me and it keep falling down. Please. I can't take it anymore.
"I won't. Why would I leave my slave?" She said as she patted and messed with my hair. I hugged her tight. I saw a sister and mother figure infront of me.
Thanks Jiyeon. :D
Jiyeon's POV
Myungsoo hugged me so tight. Aigoo. It's so hard to breathe. But I know, it's what he needs.
"Jiyeon-ah, don't leave me alone, okay?"
Just then, I felt a wet drip of water on my shoulders. Is he crying?
"Jiyeon-ah, *huk* can you tell me a reason why she left me? I'm a good boy right? *huk* Am I too possesive? Am I too loud? *huk* Am I not handsome enough for her? Am I.... Am I *huk* not enough for her?" He said as he hugs me tighter. I feel really bad for him.
I still don't get why Yoona broke up with this guy who is willing to sacrifice everything for her. A guy who won't play and break her heart. A guy who makes her feel very special. Tsk.
It's rare to find a guy like him.
She doesn't know his worth.
"Jiyeon-ah, don't fall inlove with another guy. Because that means you'll leave me."I know it's hard for him. But I'll do my promise to him. I won't leave him alone. I know how it hurts when someone leaves you.
"Don't answer one of your admirers, okay? You'll lose time for me if that happens. You're the only one who *huk* understand me.."
I patted his back. I really want to help him, but I know I can't. How would I?
After what happened now, I don't know how would I talk and treat Yoona now. But what happened between them shouldn't affect our friendship, right?
"Wait for me to move on and forget Yoona before you fall inlove with another guy, okay?"
I can feel the shoulder part of my shirt getting more wet because Myungsoo's tears doesn't stop from falling.
Seeing him like this, I don't know. But I feel like I wanna get mad at Yoona. At first, I thought she was cool because she is so nice and bubbly. She's also a good girlfriend to Myungsoo..
But now..
I don't know.
"Don't worry, Myungsoo. I'll always be here for you."
Comments