I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. I glanced out my window and saw a bit of sunlight coming in through the window. It was already fall but there was still a bit of sunlight despite the cold weather.

I looked at Donghae and he gave a weak smile.

I smiled back and asked, “What time is it?”

“Don’t worry. We still have time, unless you want to stop listening and continue another time,” Donghae reasoned.

I shook my head and said, “It’s okay.” I could feel Donghae give my hand a slight squeeze.

I didn’t wait until he replied and flipped the tape to side B. The tape began turning and the whirring sound of the tape could be heard in the small space.

Ryeowook’s voice could be heard. His voice sounds amazing in terms of vocals but something seems off. He was singing one of his songs. This song was a duet he did with a singer new at the time. However, the way he sang it now sort of shows his lack of enthusiasm. I can’t remember the title of the song. Loving a Friend? Falling in Love?

You know when you love doing something, you just do it. You don’t count the minutes until you’re finished, you just do what you’re doing because you enjoy what you’re doing. There are no ifs or buts, you just do it.

Sometimes you may do something that might seem immoral in someone else’s point of view but you’re doing what you love to do and if it benefits you even by a small difference, you would still want to do anything you can to attain that thing you want to have.

The point is that you would do anything... everything you can to achieve whatever it is you want to have. Sometimes it hurts another person to get what you want but if it’s something that can benefit you, you would be more than willing to do anything to achieve that.

For example, in my case, I love to sing. I love to sing and it’s been a passion of mine since I was young. I love the feeling of being appreciated from listening people to my voice. I get that adrenaline rush whenever I get compliments for my voice. It makes me happy... contented.

I just want to share to the world my love for music but not a lot of people were willing to listen because of my image. I used to be fat and not a lot of people would listen to my voice.

Something had to change and the only thing that could be changed was my weight. That’s the time I started my extreme diet. It began because of that feeling of desire of being wanted... of being able to sing to a crowd of loving fans. It’s a constant need that I have... that most artists have.

Hearing compliments make me happy but I learned that being happy doesn’t last long because happiness can never be attained. You can feel temporary happiness but it never lasts. You can try to pursue happiness, but there will always be some struggles that you have to face along that journey.

If you don’t try to overcome those struggles in your journey, well... let’s just say you might end up like me.

That’s when the next story will take place, my next struggle. The next struggle that caused my momentary happiness fade more quickly than when it first appeared.

In my perspective, our first meeting was an interesting experience. It’s quite interesting to meet someone who could pass as your sibling... or in our case, meet someone who could pass as my fraternal twin. In other words, I think I found my twin... girl twin from another mother.

Okay... we’re not literally twins but you could see some resemblance in our physical features like our face structures and etc.

I don’t know if you could guess who my non-related twin is but if you said Beige then you got it right.

That morning, the morning we first met I mean, my manager was telling everyone their schedule and my manager said that I had a meeting with an artist named Beige. Later on my manager said that you were thinking of doing a collaboration with me.

Thinking about it now, I can’t believe how tolerant I was with my manager when he signed me to do a collaboration with another artist without my consent. I thought that it would irritate me but I was content... didn’t bother me too much.

Maybe I didn’t complain too much because I get to do what I love. I get to sing. Remember I told you befor