Kyuhyun’s POV

It was quiet for a while and Donghae didn’t say a word. I was left on my own as I tried to gather my thoughts together.

I don’t know how long I cried for but it felt like I cried for hours. Although my tears came to a stop, my heart still feels heavy.

So many emotions are flooding within me. I feel relieved that I wasn’t listed for a bad reason but I also feel guilty about Ryeowook’s death.

There are so many things that I should’ve done, should’ve said to him but... I didn’t. I didn’t do anything. I never expressed what I wanted to say and now it’s too late.

I should’ve been there for him. I should’ve told him how much he means to me. I also want to thank him... for everything. I want to do so much to express how much Ryeowook means to me, but it’s too late. I cannot change what happened.

Despite the short years he lived in this world, he mostly lived his life filled with despair and loneliness. Knowing Ryeowook’s story is now leaving me with a lot of regrets. Now I’m left with many what ifs and should haves.

After a long silence, Donghae broke the silence and asked, “What are you thinking about?”

“Everything,” I replied honestly.

“Like?” Donghae asked.

“Everything. I’m having mixed feelings for everything. I feel relieved and more depressed. It doesn’t make sense but that’s how I feel,” I confessed.

I looked at Donghae. He nods his head in understanding. “So what will you do now?” Donghae asked cautiously.

I looked at him and saw his tired face. He gave a weak smile and I asked, “What will I do about what?”

“Are you going to finish listening to the tapes or are you going to sleep now and wake up in a few hours for the Super Junior meeting,” Donghae continued.

I gave a yawn and replied, “What Super Junior meeting?”

Donghae’s forehead made a little crease. He replied, “Remember how us, Super Junior members, are meeting in the main building tomorrow... er... I mean today and discuss the group’s disbandment.”

“Oh yeah...” I replied. I completely forgot about that.

“So what are you going to do?” Donghae asked again.

I looked at him again and the person in front of me is not the Donghae I always see. The Donghae in front of me looked weary and tired.

After a few moments, I replied and said, “I’ll just finish the tapes tonight.”

Donghae let a small yawn and replied, “Okay. I’ll stay and listen to the rest with you.”

I let another yawn as I checked my phone for the time. It already said that it was 5:08. “You didn’t tell me it was already 5,” I stated.

Donghae gave a weak smile and said, “It sort of took you a while to calm down after hearing your tape.”

I quickly shook my head and said, “I... I... It’s okay. You should sleep before the meeting. I can do this by myself.”

Donghae gave another