Kyuhyun’s POV

I was quietly following Donghae. When we reached his car, he motioned me to get in his car. Donghae sat on the driver’s seat and I went around and sat on the passenger seat.

Once I closed the passenger door Donghae said, “Turn it on.”

I nod my head and obeyed what Donghae said. I took the cassette player from my bag and took the earphones off the plug jack. I pressed the on button and waited until Ryeowook’s voice could be heard once again.

His voice was barely heard but his voice was there once again.

Many people believe that ignorance is bliss. Is it really the better option to not know? Is it really better to live a life full of ignorance and pretend that everything is fine when in fact nothing is fine?

I pressed the pause button on the cassette player. That was how my tape began. I looked at Donghae and his mouth turned in a slight smile. He motioned his hand for me to listen, so I pressed play again.

In my opinion, your past doesn’t matter because there is nothing you can do that will change what has already been done. It’s true that you can change your destiny but once it’s done, it can’t be undone. You cannot redo what has already happened. You can’t change what already happened but you can still change what will happen.

Nothing in this world is set in stone. Although you cannot change the past, you can still change your future by living in the present. You have to live in the present and not dwell on your past. What you do in the present time defines your future.

Although what happened in the past doesn’t matter, you still need to know what happened in order to move on. I believe that in order to move forward, you need to know the past. You need to learn your mistakes from the past so that it would help you in the present to move on. You wouldn’t make the same mistakes if you learned and know your mistakes.

I learned those wise words from the next person I’m going to talk about. I never really understood what his words meant before, but when I realized what his words mean, it helped me understand why I was unable to surpass my unfortunate circumstances.

He was the one who helped me understand why I was having trouble moving on. I was having trouble moving on because I keep dwelling on my past and thought about the things that already happened. Since my mind is preoccupied with my past, it prevented me to think about the present and my future. It didn’t cross my mind before that I need to improve the present first to have a better future.

I was unable to move on because I self pitied myself most of the time and only focused on how tragic my past has been. I never took the effort in improving my present for me to move forward and have a different destiny.

Because of my inability to accept my past and change my present, it trapped me in a repetitive cycle of depression, betrayal, and misery. I wasn’t able to look back on my past and fully understand what went wrong before, in order for me to not fall in the same trap again.

Since I already fell in that repetitive cycle, it was difficult for me to get out. On top of that, more anguish from the present are being added on to my past, creating the snowball effect of getting bigger and bigger. Up until now, I still don’t know how to deal with the repetitive cycle. They keep on adding onto one another until there is nothing left that I could hold on to.

Although it was too late when I realized this, I went undercover to know about the car crash as a way to prevent of what happened to me to happen again. I didn’t want him to fall in the same trap as I had so I went back and investigated his past for him to enable him to move forward.

If you haven’t already figured it out, the reason why I keep on blabbing on and on about knowing the past is because of Kyuhyun.

Hey... Kyu. How have you been? I don’t know what you think of this but I had to tell you. I didn’t know any other way to tell you that’s why I’m making you listen to this.

First thing I want to say is I’m sorry. I know that my past is very... um... unfortunate; I guess you can it call it that. I don’t know if you’re having troubles listening to this but if you are then I want to apologize in advance.

The second thing is that I didn’t want you to keep wondering about what happened about the car crash so I looked into it for you. I didn’t want you to fall in the same trap as me and not being able to get out of that repetitive cycle. I want you to learn about your past and be able move on.

It’s not too late. You still have the ability to change your future so take advantage of that and try not to fall in the same trap.

Kyu... honey, you don’t belong in the list like the others are. The reason why I listed you as one of the 13 people in the list is not because you belong here like the other people, but rather I wanted you to hear the story. I don’t mean my story, the story I’m talking about is the car crash. You need to be here to know the truth about the accident and why I decided to go undercover to find out what happened.

I pressed the pause button once again and could feel my cheeks getting damp. I touched my cheeks and felt warm tears on my fingertips.

I looked at Donghae and he just smi