Ghost in the Past: I Love You

******

"Oh my God ! I can't believe she was seducing our photographer. She's such a " Yoona said, disgusted.

"I know, she has no dignity." Seohyun agreed.

"And you see how turn on was he," Jessica laughed. "He's big!"

"Jessica !"  They shouted in unison.

"What?" She asked as if she doesn't know what she just said.

Laughing Hyoyeon said, "Oh God, I thought no one saw it,"

"You two are so ert." Taeyeon said, referring to Jessica and Hyoyeon.

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Duh, come on guys don't act like innocent,  we all know that we're adults now. There's nothing wrong talking to things like that."

"Okay  girls knock it off, there's no sense in discussing those things, it's just making you to fight." Sooyoung told them.

"Yeah, Sooyoung Unnie is right" Yoona agreed.

"How about you Soo, Do you also do things like that to Cheondung?" Hyoyeon asked with a sly smile.

"What do you mean?" Sooyoung asked.

"Seducing him while he takes photos of you?"  Yuri jump in.

Her face heated up and she stammered with her words. "What---no--no-- I--I-- of --of course not."

Her friends burst out of laughs, that makes her face heated more. "Thanks guys,"

"Oh Soo, Sorry we just can't help it." Taeyeon said between her laughed.

"Oh wait, Hottie at three o'clock," Jessica announced.

"Where?" Hyoyeon said turning her head on the left.

"Um unnie,  three o'clock is on the right," Sooyoung informed her.

She groaned. "Well you stop using the clock as a direction, I'm not good at it."

Sooyoung chuckled but when she saw the guy Jessica was talking about she froze.

"Is he the new model?" Yuri asked.

"I don't think so, he's so short to be a model." Yoona commented.

"Argh... who cares, he's hot." Hyoyeon said.

But for Sooyoung it was a nightmare, she can't believe what she was seeing. This can't be happening , not again. She moved on already but it's fate won't let her.

*****

Sooyoung

When I turn my head, the first thought was that I was having a nightmare because Lee Kikwang was standing there, resting his arms on the receptionist desk talking to the receptionist.   

I thought seeing him again was the worst but when the lady pointed her finger right where I was standing, my world shattered down, he turns his head and as he straightens and look right at me, I recognize him immediately because I can't delete his image in my mind, I know that after we broke up he went to Japan. I thought that was the last time I will see him but I guess I was wrong.  I was shaking and I let an involuntary cry and I swallowed it up but it's too late now so before I complete break down in front of my friend and embarrass myself, I collect myself and find my courage to turn my face and look away from him.

"I need to go now," I said not looking at them, afraid of them  to see me shuddering.

"Sooyoung are you okay? You're shaking?" Taeyeon unnie's voice was full of concern she try to reach out but I took a step back.

"No, I need to go now," I walk away not waiting for their answer, I can hear them calling my name but I didn't bother to look back because if  I would, I totally lost it.

Anger, fear and panic filled over my mind. I'm freaking out I don't what to do, I'm not ready for this kind of situation. It's freaking me out , I don't know what to do. The pounding footsteps behind me make more walk faster. I've never felt unsafe in the city before and right now I feel very close to running except that will make more embarrassed.

"Sooyoung wait!"  He said as he grabs my arm, stopping me dead in my track.

"Sooyoung. You're mad , I get it. But can we talk at least."

I still didn't turn around, I could feel the tears I had tried to keep away began to well up. Any minute I was going to start crying and I didn't want him to see me crying. That .

I wanted to shake off but I didn't move I didn't want him to know he affected me at all or at least more than that.

"Please Talk to me"

"Let go me," I told him barely whispers.

" Let's talk pleases " his voice was pleading but I have enough of him. I don't want him to think of me that I was this soft and easy.

"I said Let go me!" I shouted. I spin back around to face him, jerking my arms away from him.

*****

Kikwang

The moment I saw her in the lobby my world stop spinning, God, she's so beautiful, tall, slim and beautiful even more ier. I'm such a fool for letting this beautiful girl slip away from my arms.  But there's something the way she looks at me, her eyes were wide and full fear as if she'd seen a ghost. It's taken for a while before she finally looks away and turned to her friends. Then she turns away and hurried to the exit door.

No, not again. I can't afford to lose her again, Not anymore and That I found her.  The next thing I do, I run after her. I burst through the exit door and follow her, and I just keep running and running.   . All of my concentration is on Sooyoung now. When I finally catch up to her, she’s fast-walking, speeding up with each step. I grab her arm and pull her back, breathing heavily.

"Sooyoung wait!" She tries to fight to my grip.

"Let me go, " she whispers.

"Let's talk, please." I beg her.

"I said Let me go !" She yells “Let go of me!” She shouts. She spins back around, jerking her arm away from me.

“Why are you here? Why did came back, You're gone why did you have to come back ? What do you want from me!  Do you want my dignity too? My happiness? My life? Tell me ! Because you'll already take that away from me!”, Her eyes wild and sad at the same time. Tears sting her eyes, and it hurts to see her like this—like, physically hurts. She looks at me, exasperated. Sooyoung, the strong one who only loved me , exasperated. Oh my god, what have I done? “Well, aren't you going to say anything or do you want me to do you remember the day you broke my heart and make me like a fool.?” She says when I don’t respond. My jaw is still totally slack, have no idea what to say, what to do. I lost my word, I felt such an because I just broke the heart of the girl I love the most.

"I'm Sorry," Finally I say, too scared to meet her gaze, to focus on anything but the slight tremble in my toes.

"Sorry?" She laughs sarcastically, "Wow, That's all you can say? After what you've done to me ! Unbelievable."

“What do you want me to say?” I look up at her, and she looks back at me. She’s tall, almost as tall as I am, her long brunette hair that falls down beautifully and fair skin and perfect smile to go along with it.

I love that smile. It’s just a line now, though—a twisted, sad line.

Her eyes level with mine. Her breathing is even and sounds somewhat pained as she whispers, “I want you out of my life, I don't to see again. I have a life now please don't take that away from me.”

"Is there anyone else?" I swallow as I wait for her answer.

And without hesitation she said, "Yes and I love him, so if you still have respect with me....with yourself. Don't call me or try to see me again because it's too late now." Then, she turns, brushes past me, and walks down the street, I watch her as she gets into a  taxi until she disappears out of sight.

Everybody seems to be watching me as I walk home. I keep my head down, not meeting their gazes, but I still see their eyes. I feel like they’re taunting me, guilting me, because these strangers, stares and all, must know what a hopeless idiot I am to hurt the one girl who taught me how to love and  thought to be a better person.

I take a deep breath. Each step I take seems to fall in rhythm with my pounding heart and I feel my mind fade out  and all I hear is the sound my heart  and each of my footsteps, all the background  noise disappears. I want to cry, want to scream  until this goes away. Sooyoung, I broke her heart once again.

*****

Sooyoung

I didn't look back as soon I got into the taxi, by the time I reached into the house, I was shaking, maybe I wa