Chapter 30

Confession

*****

Instead of bringing  her back to the house. Cheondung brought Sooyoung to the other place. They headed to the shore. After driving for more than half an hour. He turned into a dead end and parked. It was almost sunset and the ocean went on as far as she could see. She’d seen the sunset before but never been like this, the view was breath taking. Sooyoung stared at the window in amazement.

“Where are we?”  She asked him.

He opened the door. ”Follow me,” he got out of the car. Sooyoung got out and he came around and held his hand out. She put her hand in his and they walked along the pier. Sooyoung took it all with awe.

She turned back to him. “I like it.” She whispered.

Sooyoung

“I like it.” I whispers

“This is my favorite place.”

“I can see why.” I step closer to the railings and gaze out into the oceans. The light on a couple of ships and some small sailboat was shining brighter.

“I love to go out from here when I need to be alone… it help me to relax and think,” Cheondung told me.

“How long do you want to stay up here?” I ask him. He shrugs and step beside me. His hand brushed into mine and I shiver. God! I hope he doesn’t hear my crazy heart. It had been pounding crazily since we got here.

“We can go back if you want,”

What? Go back we just got here, and now he wanted us to go back.

“I don’t want to go back…” I told him.  I want to stay longer here with him.

Cheondung glance out the ocean. “If that’s what you wanted… then we stay”

“Thank you…” I said.

He sat down and crosses his leg, then patted the spot next to him. I stare at it for a long time before I drop to the ground and crosses my legs too. I muscle constriction at the fact that our legs are so close, but I didn’t move over.

“I never brought anyone in here before.” He reveals.

“Oh yeah,” I said, startles. “You mean….. I’m the first one?” Aish! Why did I ask him that?

“Nae, you’re the first one.”

I swallow.  “How come ?”

“Because I don’t want to, like I told you this place is special to me. I don’t want anyone to see this.”

“Yeah, I heard that,” I pause and breath, Finding the courage to tell him my next word.“But why me?”

He was silent for a moment then Cheondung turned towards me. Then suddenly he reaches for my hand holding it firmly. His hand was warm to mine.

“Sooyoung, ” He stated, I don’t know what’s happening but he seems so nervous. He breath deeply and return to look at me again.

“I love you,”

My eyes widen. Panicked seize my chest and I immediately stand up, yanking his hand away. I need some air, lots of lots of air.

Cheondung stood up too.

“What happen?” he asks  worriedly

. “Nothing,” I say.

“Sooyooung,” he stops then start again. “I really care for you,I was hoping you feel the same way.”

He can’t have feelings for me. He can’t. I knead my hand against my eyes. Aish!Sooyoung how did you think this was going to go? You knew you were falling for him, but he wasn’t to fall for you. His words make everything real. Too real.

I whirl around and split out the accusation. “Guys like you don’t fall for girls like me.”

“What I can’t fall for a pretty girl like you?”

He doesn’t get it.

“I’m not worthy to be loved, ”

Cheondung head flinches as if I slap him. And Ignore his reaction.

“What are you talking about? You’re worthy, everybody is worthy to be loved and to love,”

“You don’t understand!”

“Then explain it to me!” Cheondung hissed.

I look into his eyes,they were pleading me to tell him the truth. He deserves it. He deserves the truth.

“Three years ago I fell in love to a man who make me feel special. He told me he loved me and took of me but one he suddenly became possesive towards me, he get mad every time he saw me with some other guy even with my co-worker and he started accusing me that I cheated on him and then..." I paused trying to ease the pain of my past and breath in because  I never shared to anyone but I wanted to share this to Cheondung because I want him to understand  why he should not be with me."I tried to tell him that it was my co-worker and I'm cheating on him that his the only man I loved but he didn't believe in me and he hit me and he---" I was sobbing, I tried to control my tears but it on falling. I breathed and tried to speak again. "He forced himself to me, He me."  I felt horrible for trusting and falling for kikwang.  "He threaten me not tell t