Ga-in was told to go home and Mrs. Kim asked Junsu to drop her off even though she said not to. But Junsu had given her a ride but instead of going home, he brought her somewhere else.

“Junsu, I thought the deal was to get me home. Not lost...”    Ga-in stepped out the car to notice where she was. The beach.

“You should have told me you wanted to swim. I would have brought my y black swim suit.”

“I don’t want to scar my eyes Ga-in.”    Junsu walking to the water.    “Come here. It feels nice.”    Ga-in shook her head and walked beside Junsu; soaking her foot in the cold waves.

“This does feel nice...”   she looked at the endless sea before her feeling the muddy wind. Then she remembered that Junsu had to tell her something.

“Junsu...why do you love me?”

“Do you want me to answer now?”

“This seems like the perfect place to get dramatic.”    Ga-in chuckled looking at him. Junsu ended up laughing with her but then he huffed in as if he has much to say to her.

“I love you because...because of everything.”

“Everything?”   Ga-in asked.    “Even my bad habits?”

“Maybe...”   Junsu shrugged.    “I wanted to find out what I loved about you and...I really couldn’t find out a specific answer...I mean is love supposed to be calculative? Do we love for some reason or we just love? I love my mother but can I give a reason why I love my mother besides that she is my Mother?”     Junsu asked himself rather.     “I don’t think so...it is kind of same with you.”    He looked at her.

“I love you because of your mind, soul, spirit, personality and...”    He felt himself closing on her face; resting his forehead on her.    “Body...”

“I love you platonically, brotherly, fatherly, friendly, mentally and...”    His words turned to whispers.   “Even physically...what do you call this?”

“I call this...”     Ga-in closed her eyes.    “Eternal...”

Junsu was tempted to just kiss her for eternity...to prove her words. He held her shoulders; breathing on her face, ready to kiss her any moment...but he pressed his lips on her neck and embraced her very closely.

“Thank you Ga-in...”    He nuzzled on her neck and Ga-in embraced him back.

“You should stop watching soaperas...it’s messing your brains. Now...”    he pulled away from the hug and looked at the baby face.    “Ride me home.”

Junsu smiled and nodded; knowing she was like this...strong, funny and normal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the music ended, Changmin had realized what he had done. He retreated hastily from Pani’s lips and stood there motionless. Pani on the other hand was gaping at him; her eyes glistened.

“I’m...I’m so sorry Pani. I don’t know what got into me...I’m sorry...”

Pani pursed her lips; resisting her tears. She scurried away shocking Changmin; leaving him alone on the roof. Changmin had realized...what he did was wrong. His hand ran through his hair in frustration.

“!”     

He wanted to jump off the roof, for making her cry. He didn’t want to do this...he looked down and saw Pani rushing inside the room and saw Hara and Jaejoong rushing after her. They would both kill him.

Hara and Jaejoong had suddenly noticed Pani rushing in. With the midst of applause, the excused themselves and chased her; leaving the music to Hara’s cousins who started playing their electric guitars.

Hara got Pani’s shoulder and turned her around in the dining room.

“Pani?”   She was crying.   “What’s the matter?”

“Did Changmin do something again?”   Jaejoong asked, ready to kill the boy.

Pani shook her head, lying; not wanting to cause trouble. Jaejoong knew...he huffed out and just asked.

“Where is he?”    She didn’t answer but Jaejoong went out anyway searching for him. But he found Changmin coming down. Jaejoong stomped to the younger one and dragged him without anyone’s notice and yanked him at a corner.

“What did you do?”   Changmin knew what Jaejoong was asking about.

“I...”   Changmin was filled with guilt himself.   “I accidently kissed Pani on the lips.”

“Accidentally?”   Jaejoong didn’t believe that.

“In-intentionally...I don’t know what came over me. I-I was just there and...th-the music just. Then I just...without thinking twice.”    Changmin hid his face; sighing.    “Why did I do that?”

“You tell me.”    Jaejoong muttered.    “Now she’s crying her brains out not even telling me what you did. She still has worries of not causing any trouble for you but you just had to be insensitive.”

“I’m sorry!”

“Tell Pani that. She’s the one who’s crying because of you.”

“Oh Hyung...I don’t know what to say anymore...”

“Either you say sorry and make up for it or you stay away from her.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Hara who held Pani. Changmin looked at Pani, who refused to look at him.

“Jaejoong...let them talk alone. Come on.”

“You have agreed to let them talk?”   Jaejoong was surprised to hear that from Hara. Normally she would be the first one to bring him down. He sighed and walked to Hara. Hara let Pani go and pushed her to Changmin.

“It’s gonna be okay. Just talk it out.”   Pani nodded and Hara took Jaejoong’s hand to leave.

“Behave Changmin.”     Hara left her last threat before leaving with Jaejoong. Walking out in the garden with the rest, Jaejoong asked.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her to face it like a woman.”

“But...she’s sensitive.”

“Yeah...I know. But sooner or later she has to learn to deal with these and...Changmin is a very good kid. He can fix his attitude for her.”

Jaejoong said nothing further knowing she was right. Pani had to learn about these.

“By the way I heard what you were saying to Changmin...being insensitive and all. I would like to say...look who’s talking.”

“Yeah, yeah...”    Jaejoong recalled the time he had kissed her. That was insensitive.     “I don’t want him to make the same mistake but...as you have advised Pani to give Changmin a chance...have you adhered to your own advice in my case?”

“You mean giving you a second chance? You already had one...”

Jaejoong was afraid whether he had failed his second chance...whenever that was.

“And you have made up for it.”    Hara added surprising him.

“How?”

“You won dad’s heart...by telling him everything.”     Hara smiled

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Minyoung?”

She was quiet...she didn’t know what to say anymore. She couldn’t even tell what she was feeling. Instead she walked out of the showroom while Yoochun stood there. He soon followed her and held her shoulder to stop her.

“Minyoung say something.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I didn’t know this for long...it was just after the competition...”

“Why would you hide it?”   her voice wasn’t soft; rather accusing.

“I didn’t want things between us to be awkward...not after I told you that I could have fallen in love with that woman and...falling in love with you was something I could never imagine. I’m sorry.”

“Yoochun you have no idea how humiliating this is for me. As if...I want the attention of your feelings.”

“Daemul you have nothing to be embarrassed of. You have handled it perfectly without over-reaction. You didn’t even want me to feel that way. It was always me and I told you...I am confused whether I am in love or not. So don’t blame yourself for it.”

“But I can see that...no matter how I handle things...burden will always fall on my head. Yoochun...I think you should go back. Things have already gotten awkward between us and you’re always confused about your feelings.”    She sighed.    “Maybe a day or two alone will fix your mind.”

“Minyoung you’re asking me to...go?”

“Yes...for your own good before you end up mistaking your own feelings or this friendship you have with me.”    She was not uncomfortable to say that.

“I’m not leaving you Minyoung...”

“It’s just few days Mickey...I’ll be there within 3 days. It should do you some good.”

Yoochun felt something in his mind. It was as if someone pushed him off from a high place. That felt like a rejection and abandonment.

“No...”   he shook his head hastily.

“Yoochun what is wrong with you? If you don’t want to waste your three days then wonder around London on your own. But we should refrain seeing each other for few days. Let me gulp this down.”    Minyoung could sense restlessness in him.

“I can’t live three days without seeing you!”    He growled at her startling her. She had no idea why he was acting like this.

“Yoo...chun.”    She could guess that he had mixed up his feelings all over again with love and platonic love. He had confused himself again.

“Yoochun we are still friends.”    She emphasized.    “Right?”    she wanted him to remember that they were only good friends and the only feeling between them is platonic. Yoochun looked at her as if he had woken up from a dream. He then realized how he was reacting.

“Right...”   He wanted to kill himself.   “We’re friends...and...I won’t be meeting you just to cool things down.”    He nodded and inhaled cold air. His head felt light for some reason.

“I’ll get some drink to cool my head down. You need any?”    he asked her; gulping.

“Nah...”    she murmured.    “I’m good. You get yourself one. I should go home now.”

“Then I’ll walk you to the bus stand.”

“Thanks...where will you go?”

“Any pub or...tourist sites. You go on.”   He nervously chuckled and walked her to the bus stand. His heart beat like crazy and he was patient with the bus’s arrival. He didn’t want the bus to come but it did and when it did, Yoochun suddenly embraced Minyoung.

“Take care...”    He murmured softly.

“You too...”    she was shocked for such intimacy.  He had never done that before. Minyoung quickly hopped on the bus and waved at him as the bus drove by.

Yoochun stood there till the bus disappeared and soon his breathing became uneven. He kept walking alone until his sight fell on an expensive pub. He had drunk before but he was careful not to get drunk but today he was not so sure.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ga-in stepped out of the car and waved at Junsu before he drove off. Turning around she saw Hyori standing alone.

“What are you doing?”    Ga-in frowned seeing her standing alone in the cold.

“I heard the car so I assumed you returned.”   She smiled at her.

“Where is Mr. Son?”    She was rather pissed.

“He hasn’t returned. Was it Junsu who dropped you off?”

“Y-yeah...let’s go.”    Ga-in’s voice softened realising her soft tone. Hyori nodded and they walked together inside and then Ga-in realised that she had to give her the news.

“Mrs. Jaemin is pregnant.”

“Kim Junho’s wife? That’s wonderful! Were you with them the whole time?”   

“Yes...”    Ga-in was rather surprised that Hyori was fine with the news with her own miscarriage. After all it was her first time conceiving and...

Hold on...10 years and she conceived only once?

“Hyori...”

“Yes?”    Hyori looked at her in the chatting room.

“How long have you been with Mr. Son?”    She wasn’t hesitant asking that but Hyori was uncomfortable.

“Ga-in you...know that...it...”

“Just answer me. I don’t like it when you mumble.”   She really didn’t care being polite to her.

“12 years...”

“Surely this isn’t the first time you have conceived...”

Hyori’s eyes widened. She gulped and looked around to see whether there any servants eavesdropping.

“Hyori?”   Ga-in called again.

“This is the third time I’ve had a miscarriage.”

“What?!”   Her voice almost roared hearing that. How much could her body bear?

“Ga-in...there is a long story behind it. It starts with how it all started with your father...”

Ga-in didn’t say anything further; she had to know all but first she had to do something. She had to take Hyori for a check up.

“You’re coming with me.”

“Where?”

“To the hospital.”    Ga-in took Hyori’s hand and pulled her along.

“But why? I’m fine Ga-in.”

“No, you’re not. You’ve been playing a very dangerous game.”      Ga-in asked the guard to take out a car and quickly pushed her inside; entering the car herself, she instructed the driver to take them to the maternal clinic.

“Tell me...”

Hyori sighed, knowing nothing could escape her observations. So she decided to tell.

“There was nothing between me and your father Ga-in at the beginning. He was a man who loved Mrs. Son a lot.”

Ga-in didn’t want to hear that. She wanted to hear something useful.

“But then...there was an accident by Mrs. Son. You were about 6 years old.”

“What accident?”

“Mrs. Son was almost killed by a car crash but she managed not to get hurt because her driver was the one who saved her...but he died in the process.”

“How come I was never told about this?!”    She shouted at Hyori which scared her. Then she realised that screaming at her wont do anything.

“You were just a child. Mrs. Kim asked us not to say anything...but...she saw a man die...her driver’s death was the reason for her depression. That was why she started medication.”

Ga-in always remembered that her mother needed medication but she never knew it started like this.

“Mr. Son tried his best to calm Mrs. Son at her panic attacks but her depression took turn for the worst. She was then diagnosed with PTSD. Mr. Son was doing everything he could but pressures were coming all around him.”

“So that’s when you came in to help.”    Ga-in muttered.

“You...could say that. But it was never like that Ga-in I swear. He would stay in his office finishing work till dawn and I could see he wanted to finish things soon so he could be there for you.”

“Dont give me that crap.”    Ga-in muttered     “He wanted to escape taking care of mother.”

“No Ga-in...that’s where you’re wrong. He could never do that but...deals were coming in one after another and he had to make sure t get them so he could get good profit and raise the salaries his employees had been demanding.”   Hyori sighed recalling the work pressures.

“I stayed over one night to help him out...because he had helped me once with my problems. I saw him drinking heavily out of frustrations and...I went in to stop him but...he mistook me as your mother...and...”

“I get it...”   Ga-in sighed not trying to imagine it.    “What happened next?”

“He felt guilty and wanted to take responsibility but I backed out. He came clean with your mother when you were at school.”

“What did my mother do?”

“She...almost attacked me.”

Ga-in looked at Hyori wide eyes not believing that. Even during depression her mother was sweet to her...how could she be so violent?

“Your father calmed her down but...she hit him too. He didn’t do anything so I quit job not to cause trouble. But after few months he came to see me...asking whether he can do anything for me but...in shock I fainted. When I was taken to the hospital...I found out that I had a miscarriage...that was the first time.”

Ga-in remained quiet...she was trying to gulp all down.

“Your father kept sending in money for me health and would often visit me and he had taken care of me like that for 6 years without anyone’s notice. However people in my area soon found out and I was put to ridicule. Your father then decided to move me to his personal apartment. That’s where I stayed and he offered back me my job and within that time we genuinely fell in love with each other and I got pregnant again.”

So that was when the genuine affair began...

“After that...we decided to keep it however...I think Mrs. Son found out and she took overdose. I was three months then and after her death I felt so guilty that...I fell down the stairs and had another miscarriage.”

Ga-in remained quiet. She didn’t know whom to blame anymore. Everyone was a victim of circumstances.

“Ga-in?”   Hyori called noticing her focused face.

“We are going to the hospital to see whether your body is fit enough.”    She genuinely answered. She was concerned about this woman. She didn’t know why but Hyori was feeling sentimental. Hyori was happy that Ga-in had finally accepted her...

After arriving at the hospital, they went to the gynaecologist to check her and informed her of every detail. While the nurses were having an ultra sonogram, Gain asked the doctor at the corner.

“Tell me doctor, can stress cause miscarriage?”

“Yes it can. Stress has long been suspected as a possible cause of miscarriage. The chain reaction causes a certain hormone to be released that can cause even premature birth. However research has still been unable to find the exact relationship between stress and result...in case of Miss Hyori... it is the same.”

Ga-in looked away realising what kind of stress it could be. Her cell beeped as the doctor excused herself. Receiving it, she heard her father’s voice.

“Ga-in? Is Hyori with you? Where are you two?”

“Hospital...”

“Hospital? Is someone injured? Are you both okay?”

“I’ll give you the location. Just come and see for yourself.”   She hung up before he could say anything further. She observed the sonogram...she still had the ability t conceive but she had to be stress free. She has a way.

She entered the room and Hyori looked at her. Ga-in still had questions.

“Tell me Hyori...why is Mr. Son so on his feet to give me away to Junsu?”

“You think he wants you to go away...”   Hyori smiled lightly.    “He just wants you to achieve a legal status so you could take over. He knows you will have obstacles from the board if you take over alone. With Kim Junsu behind you, none of the members will be able to do anything to you.”

“The relation is too hollow Hyori.”    Ga-in muttered.    “I believe that he wants to get rid of me and have Junsu’s status for his own benefit. I find stronger connection to this.”

“But you’ll see...”   Hyori decided not to pursue her further. She had to see on her own.

When her father arrived, he first held Ga-in to see whether there were any kind of injuries. Ga-in freed herself from her father and muttered to him.

“I’m fine...I brought Hyori for a check up. How come you never told me that she had 3 miscarriages?”

“How could I when you didn’t want to? Plus...she asked me not to...”    Ga-in didn’t retort to that comment. She looked other way and was thinking whether she should tell him. Mr. Son entered the room to see Hyori who smiled at him and held his hand. Ga-in had to tell them...she had to.

“I’ve made a decision...”   Ga-in stated as she entered the room.

“Regarding what?”    her father asked.

“You two...the doctor told me that stress can cause miscarriages and she had two of them due to miscarriage and one out of an accident. I can see what her stress is...”    Ga-in stated in an informative manner.     “So to release you from stress so as to prevent further incidents like this...I’m asking you two to get married.”

“What?”    it was Hyori who was surprised. Her father merely gaped at her.

“I’m asking you to marry Mr. Son and become legit. That is your only worry...you worry about your legitimacy with this family.”

“But you and Junsu...what would his family say?”    Hyori asked further.

“If he really loves me...unlike my daddy dear here...”   She glared at her father.    “Then he would support me. If not, I will not hesitate to break it off with him. I don’t care what anyone says. It’s your health I’m more concerned about.”

“Ga-in...”    Her father mumbled out.    “You don’t have to do this for us.”

“I am not doing this for you...”    She remarked.     “Hyori’s health is of utmost importance and if you care more for Kim’s status then I have nothing to say.”

“I don’t care about Junsu’s status for my own Ga-in.”    Her father defended himself.    “I want someone for you who can care for you even at worst instances.”

“I can take care of myself as I always have.”    Ga-in retorted.    “You don’t need to waste your energy on me. Your wedding will be fixed within months. I’ll deal with the media and invitations. Hyori would rest and you can invite your friends.”

She walked out not explaining further. She took out her cell and dialled Junsu, wanting to tell him.

“You’re missing me already?”

“Yeah...”   she chuckled.   “I’ve asked my father to marry Hyori. I’m hoping you’d support me.”

“I’m proud of you piper. That was a good decision you made...I’ll help you out. This will be one hell of media news.”

“Yeah...tell your family and I’ll inform others. Thank you.”

“This party should be a good one. I want strippers!”

“I’ll bring male strippers. Have fun with them.”   Ga-in smirked hearing him whine.

“You’re a devil...night devil piper.”

“Night duck .”    She hung up before giving Junsu to speak.  

She would have to deal a lot with media.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pani...”    Changmin murmured, trying to look at her but the embarrassment was too much.    “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have done it.”

Pani remained quiet for almost a minute that frustrated him. He just wanted to shout out but he didn’t want to scare her. Before he could say another word, she asked.

“Do you really feel that way about me?”

Changmin just blinked at her; even after all those indications she still asks.

“You still ask about it? I’ve been pretty obvious with it.”

“Why? I mean what is in me? What is it that you like? I am not confident, not beautiful; I don’t know how to talk most of the time. I’m a block.”

“Pani...”

“You’re on the other hand are quite known, brilliant, good looking...I just don’t get it how you can like me the way you do.”   Pani just couldn’t figure it out.

“I just do...I like the way you are.”   Changmin answered.    “I like how you are shy, introvert and blush at every action of mine.”    Pani blushed again hearing it.

“Shut up...”   she retorted making Changmin laugh.

“Are we okay then?”

She nodded lightly.

“Then please say the words I’ve been dying to hear...”

“I...”    Before she could finish group of girls entered the room getting more snacks. Changmin felt like smacking himself; he looked at Pani who, for the first time, was smiling at him. He need not hear the words...he knew that she felt the same way.

Both Hara and Jaejoong saw them coming out of the room but they were not holding hands, nor they were speaking but the way they looked at each other, indicated enough that things between them were fine. Both Hara and Jaejoong were relieved.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Night had fallen in England and she sat in the balcony thinking about the whole situation. Just when she thought everything was fine. Misook entered the deck catching Minyoung’s attention.

“Hey mother.”

“You seem in a daze. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing...”    Misook sat beside her.     “You need help making dinner?”

“No...”    Misook shook her head.    “You’re supposed to be with Yoochun.”

“I think he should look at London on his own. You know...go to places where I wont...like clubs and bars.”

“You think he likes those?”   Misook asked.    “If he did, he would have gone beforehand.”

“What do you want me to say then?”   Minyoung looked at her mother.

“I think you are just avoiding him...”

“Why would I? Nothing happened.”

“Something happened...or else you wouldn’t be sulking here.”

“Am I that easy to read?”   

“No...I just got used to it.”

That made Minyoung look at her mother again. She heard that line before...Yoochun had said it once.

“Mother...do you feel something weird from Yoochun?”

“You mean any bad vibe? I don’t find any as of yet.”     Misook stated.   “Why?”

“It’s nothing...”

They quieted down and kept looking at the sky. Stefan was already asleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yoochun sat there unfocused. He hadn’t touched his vodka and kept circling his finger over the glass. The bar tender noticed for a long time that he wasn’t drinking anything.

“Sir you’ve been here for a long time; are you sure you don’t want any?”

“Huh?”   Yoochun looked at the man.    “I’m fine, sorry I’ll leave.”

“It’s okay sir. You’re the first one who ordered but didn’t have it. Might if I ask whether anything is wrong?”

“No I don’t mind.”

“Then is it a woman?”

Yoochun chuckled. Minyoung being the problem in that way was funny to him.

“Rather a friend.”

“Did the friend hurt you?”

“Quite the opposite; she is trying not to hurt me. She pushes me away from her problems. I, being the nice friend, keep away from her. I only listen to her when she genuinely speaks to me.”

“Then she is a tough one. She is not easily read...sometimes you have to force them to open up. Always letting them keep to themselves isn’t beneficial to them.”

Yoochun looked up. He was actually right. He had to sometimes force her to speak or else she’d go mad.

“Thanks.”   Yoochun stated; standing up.   “You’re right. Just because she’ll tell me to stay away doesn’t mean I will. After all she is concerned about me. I should be concerned about her.”

Putting the money on the table; he was about to leave when his head felt dizzy. He didn’t drink so he couldn’t tell why he was feeling this way. Everything around him was circumventing.

“I feel...help.”    Yoochun’s sight darkened and he fell on the floor and the bar tender quickly came to him with few others.

“Someone call the medics!”   The man took out his cell searching through his pocket and searched through the numbers. There was only one national number and he quickly dialled.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While the mother and daughter were enjoying the night, Minyoung’s cell rang.

“Hello.”

“Hello? There is a man lying at our bar. His name is Park Yoochun?”

“Yoochun?”     Minyoung asked.     “He is a friend. Did you call the medics?”   She calmly asked noticing the man’s panicked state.

“Yes I have! I’m going with him! Just come quick!”

“Calm down. He was probably drinking too much.”   Minyoung assumed since he was at the bar.

“He hasn’t touched his drink. He didn’t even take a sip.”

Minyoung froze right there...he didn’t pass out due to alcohol. Something was actually wrong.

“Just let me know which hospital. I’ll be there.”    She hung up and looked at Misook who looked at her questioningly.

“Something happened to Yoochun?”    She asked.

“I think the fever is finally kicking in...”    she mumbled to her mother but in her mind she knew...she could guess. It wasn’t just the fever.

I keep repeating the same mistake...