Junsu shut the door without notice that he had shut the door on Jaejoong’s face. Jaejoong was only stunned to see such behavior; above that Yoochun had showed weird behavior as well. How come that he knew none of it? Jaejoong could only think that he wasn’t the only one keeping secrets.
He merely sighed and went to his own room to rest. He maybe should leave Junsu on his own.
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Junsu’s finger hovered upon the leather cover of the diary. Not just the cover but the name ‘Julie’…why would Ga-in leave it for him? Did she finally think that he had a scope for forgiveness? He shakily opened the diary and tried to find the first entry.
When he did, he was a bit surprised as it had no dates, only entries with numbers.
Julie’s writing was beautiful as any professional calligrapher but with a hint of English writing. The page was clean and white unlike its cover. It could only define her-flamboyant on the outside; clear on the inside.

“College entry-1” that’s how it started. College entry? Awkward sentence to start with.

“This is my first ever diary to note my daily lives at my college. I don’t know why I chose to do such thing but maybe because I don’t have much time left. Okay cutting short, this diary has the purpose to note my days at my university-SM. I want to write them so I would still remember every details in the end when I would know its my time. Now back to the point-my first day at SM.
Very much movie like and totally like Twilight. It has every sort of group starting from Goths to nerds and kingkas. When I first introduced myself I could literally feel the glares piercing through me and lust swarming around me. I felt even the teachers couldn’t protect me.
When I took a seat I noticed some people talking about three men with their names who hasn’t seem to arrive yet. I was very curious-you know why? Cause I heard one of them saying ‘he fu*ked me last night’. That was the word that really caught my attention. Wow…such open minded people. I could burst out laughing any moment.
Then the entire class froze when three men entered and I must say…WOW!!!!! They were freaking gorgeous! I was so jealous…but then I thought guys like these maybe actually do fu*k random girls.
Well that’s all for today”

Junsu could only laugh at the statement then he realized that his cheeks were wet as well. He had been crying too.
He turned to next page and kept reading on.

“College entry 3. The second day was boring so I decided to write the days which were actually meaningful to me. Okay today I saw the three men again whom people kept speaking of fu*king…ahem ahem. So as well I learned their names. The godly looking one was Kim Jaejoong, the flirty looking was Park Yoochun and the cute looking one was Kim Junsu. It was Kim Junsu’s name I heard the first day. Apparently it was Victoria who was saying it. Victoria was someone perfect as queenka material and I must admit she was pretty y.
But that wasn’t the main part today. The main part was when I was passing a practice room after recess. I heard a piano music and singing.
I peeked to see who it was and my…Park Yoochun playing while the other two singing. I don’t know what they were singing but…it gave me strength to spend my everyday life. So much to see and so little time I had.
Then they stopped and I heard them talking and I know its bad manners. But I couldn’t help it. They were saying ‘She was spreading rumors how you slept with her’ maybe it was Park Yoochun who was saying in between laughs while the other two were showing disgusted faces.

‘We cant anything about it.’ the other said

‘They absolutely disgust me. One of the reasons why I want to quit.’ one of them said. Perhaps it was Kim Junsu…who seems to be frowned all the time.

But I understood one thing though, besides Yoochun man, none of them were se* mongers”

Junsu couldn’t help but laugh again…she did use a lot of slang.

“College entry 4-today I saw a girl crying…I heard from few students that she had been hazed as in ragged by a group of people but she wont mention them. She said she was too afraid of them. Her name was Yuki Nakamura. Apparently no one was comforting her. I heard them saying that she deserved it. I saw her sitting on the bench alone so I approached her. I talked to her and found out that her mother was talking to the principle about it and that Yuki was about to be removed from this campus. Then she told me why she had been hazed…she accidently bumped onto Kim Jaejoong…and few girls whose name she wont mention, grabbed her to a corner and beat her…she was hurt pretty bad. Poor girl…I really even don’t want to think about those three if it gets me here.”

Junsu remembered that day when Jaejoong continuously apologized to Yuki’s mother. Apparently he voluntarily went there and told them that he was the reason knowing the obvious.

“College entry 5- guess what’s been happening for the past 4 days since Yuki’s departure? I think I noticed Kim Junsu staring at me often….EEEEPPPP!!!!! freaky or awesome! I don’t know…seems freakier. But today we actually bumped onto each other and…I actually shook hands with him telling him the truth what I actually heard about him! …he seemed like a nice man…but…seriously…he seemed more like brotherly than…a man. But when I saw three glares I immediately avoided him and went away. Now I know whose name Yuki wasn’t mentioning. Victoria and her two friends-Sulli and Taeyeon.”

Junsu now understood what had made her afraid…

“College entry 6-today Ga-in came to my house after I had finished my class. Ga-in is a very good friend of mine who is overprotective of me. She often suggested leaving SM and joining Maestro. I know they are of the same level but I wanted to be independent this time. Joining Maestro would mean another mother at campus. And if she knew about my illness she would definitely drag me to Maestro. I told Ga-in about my days at SM and as always she says ‘Men are menace, stay away from them’. Come on Ga-in…lighten up. Not everyone is bad and Kim Junsu is definitely not bad. But she kept saying… ‘he would cause my death one day’. But he only gives me hope.”

Ga-in was right…he did Cause her death.

“College entry 7-…how should I start? Right now I’m in hospital because…I had just gone through the same as Yuki and I didn’t dare tell Ga-in who had rushed to hospital…its night right now and my parents are sleeping right beside me and I am alone woken up. I didn’t know this would happen to me…I was just walking when I was dragged by the three…they hurt me pretty bad…which made my illness worse…Victoria kept swearing at me saying pretty bad things to me…which rendered me characterless…it actually hurt me badly. For a moment I wanted Ga-in to murder her. My parents understood the theory of assault. They asked me the name of the boy and I said…Kim Junsu…and he was the brother of the man who had visited every programmes of the Kangs-Kim Junho. How could I not see the resemblance? Ok the doctor is coming…”

Junsu could only think of one thing-Julie should have told Ga-in.

“College entry 8- no more college. Ga-in’s friends Minyoung called and Hara visited me. They were both so nice to me and Ga-in was lucky. I had visited the college with my mother. While she was talking inside I was waiting for her that was when I saw Kim Junsu. He smiled and was approaching me. Honestly I know it was rude but I was so scared…he saw my face and seemed to have understood. I quickly entered the principal’s office. I didn’t want him to ask me and blame himself. If I had a chance to say sorry to him I would kneel down and do it. I could see his tensed face because his optimistic expression, if ruined, will ruin my last chance of expectation of survival.
Right now I don’t feel so good…I told my parents and the doctors and they said its fine…but something keeps telling me this isn’t good. I feel so…sleepy but out of breath. Maybe I will write the rest tomorrow, right now Ga-in is coming.”

That was it…no more entries. Incomplete.

Junsu huffed in some air…it couldn’t finish here. It wasn’t her last day, it couldn’t be. The entries had no sort of emotion to cry upon but he did. He mourned clutching the diary covering his face; shaking all over. It seemed as he had been deprived of water for a long time and his throat was becoming raspy. His cry became slightly louder with whimpering and Jaejoong could hear it outside. Jaejoong pressed his ear on the door and listened to the mourning of the poor boy. He cried like a boy who had just lost his family. She did say he seemed brotherly.

“Why wont you tell me anything Junsu?”
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Yoochun had bid farewell to his hyungs and headed back to his place. Then he just remembered, he forgot to tell them that Minyoung wasn’t his girlfriend. Well what would happen but the plan would surely succeed. But…that means he would have to miss out Sunday and Sunday meant…the violin girl.

“Wait a minute! Why do I even care about the violin girl? I should be going out with Hara?” he mumbled and hit his head. He refused to practice with her. Why would he do that again? oh yeah for Minyoung? But why would he do that for Minyoung?
He didn’t know….
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THURSDAY
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Minyoung was at Mrs. Yvonne’s class minding her own business as usual alone. Come to think of it she always had her classes alone with none of her friends except two days perhaps. No one she was so lonely and distant from others.
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Junsu and Jaejoong were in class with Mr Emon, one of the most handsome teachers. While Jaejoong had nothing in his mind Junsu had determined himself to see Ga-in once and for all and solve all the issues.
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Hara was dozing off, well almost while Yoochun kept poking her awake. Ga-in was in distance in her thoughts. She had given Julie’s diary to Junsu but with what intention, she yet didn’t know. Why would Mrs. Kang ask her to read this diary and pass it to Junsu?
Only she would know?
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When their classes finished the guys came out and Junsu had already planned to grab Ga-in. he knew where Ga-in was along with Yoochun and Hara. He walked first leaving Jaejoong wondering where he was going.

“Yah! Junsu!” he only followed the younger one.

He kept chasing him until he saw the trio-Hara, Yoochun and Ga-in. he stopped and understood. Ga-in was really making things hard for Junsu.

The trio noticed Jaejoong and Junsu and Ga-in’s reaction was merely a widened eyes. She excused herself from Hara and Yoochun and ran while Junsu chased after her passing all without caring.

“Whats up with those two?” Yoochun asked while Hara shrugged. Jaejoong’s sight followed the running figures until it went out of sight.

Junsu kept running after her and she wasn’t stopping at all. Finally he increased his speed and was able to put a finger on her shoulder making it a mere tap however…it caused her to stop. Junsu stopped behind her panting lightly.
Ga-in didn’t dare face him.

“What do you want?” she asked bitterly.
Junsu caught his breath before answering but was surprised that she would ask that instead of ‘get lost’.

“You were right Ga-in. you were right about me. You were right that I would cause her death and I did. I don’t deserve hers or your forgiveness. Infact…hit me. Hit me all you want and I’ll accept it.”

Ga-in was rather shocked. She thought he would ask her to forgive him. she walked away without any words while Junsu tagged behind her.

“Why don’t you say anything?” he asked loudly while walking.
Ga-in was fuming inside. Had the diary taught nothing to him? She walked pretty far away from the campus where no one was in particular. She stopped again and when she felt Junsu nearing for an answer and swung her fist on his chest but…it didn’t bring much force.

Junsu was rather in disbelief what he was seeing. Ga-in, crying and not hitting him. She merely hit his chest once, twice, thrice and repeatedly started punching his chest without any sort of force. She wasn’t angry at him but herself.

“You idiot! Didn’t you read it carefully?! She said you gave her strength to live until the last moment and you are saying in was right?! You bastard! Always making me cry and mad for no reason! Do you want me to say sorry to you now to make you feel that you’re not guilty? Didn’t you already figured it out from Julie’s diary? Jerk!” she bitterly said to the astounded man.
Junsu realized that Ga-in had already forgiven him without direct expression. He grabbed both of her hands and made her stop only to get some struggling to get away from him. He looked down on her face which she was trying to hide.

“You know what? I think she learned to be a potty mouth from you…” he smiled lightly causing Gain trying to punch him again.
He didn’t know right now what he actually wanted now but…he embraced her without Ga-in’s notice shocking her as usual.

“Please don’t ever…ever separate me from you again. I want to be friends with you…please.” Junsu whispered near her ear lightly making her shiver. When did his voice get all manly and husky? It was always squeaky which couldn’t be taken seriously.
She was sure that her heart would burst out anytime with the closeness. She was never used to it with men. Not even with her father.
She slightly distanced herself with her hands from him making Junsu realize that that was much too closure. He cleared his throat and stood at a distance.

“It seems that…we cant keep anything from each other. I know Julie whom you knew and she knew you through your older brother…so…yeah” Ga-in removed the sudden awkwardness between them with her way of words. She wiped her face clearly and took a breath.

“Yeah so…I’ll tell you about me and you’ll tell me about yourself. And no secrets no matter how personal they are. After all it might turn to create an issue again between us.” Junsu nodded agreeing.

“That’s exaggerating. Not too personal stuff.” Ga-in chuckled.

“Not that sort of personal like the colour of your underwear, unless you want to share.” Junsu teased.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Ga-in started walking back to the campus. Junsu laughed lightly and tagged along with her while saying.

“I’m ready to tell you mine. But you have to tell me yours first. Where are you going?”
Ga-in stopped again and this time looked at him with sincere eyes.

“To visit Julie. Will you accompany me?” she lightly asked. Junsu just stared at her with more hope than ever. All he could respond with was a smile.
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“Ok I cant wait anymore for the duckbutt!” Yoochun whined looking at Hara and Jaejoong. Minyoung merely stood aside. She would have gone home already had Hara not called her.

“Don’t call him that! I say his is cute. You’re just jealous.” Hara complimented causing Minyoung to hide her smile. Jaejoong openly chuckled.

“I have a cute too! Wanna look at it? here…” he lightly spanked his own bum. “But seriously, if there anything going on between those two shouldn’t we leave them alone?” he added further.

That kept all of them thinking until interrupted by a call from Yoochun’s cell and message tones from the rest two besides Minyoung’s.

“Ga-in sent that she’ll be going home later and told me to take a lift from either Minyoung or you guys.” Hara read out loud.

“Junsu wrote to go home without him. He’ll come by later.” Jaejoong said now looking at Yoochun. “Who is it Yoochun?” he asked while Yoochun received the call and moved away from those guys.

“Yes Hyung. Found anything?” Yoochun asked Ah-in on the other line.

“Well yeah a lot but you have to give me a day. How about Sunday?” Ah-in asked. Yoochun thought for a while…Sunday was a good day for him…but…uggh! He had no other choice.

“Alright. Tell me what to do later.” Yoochun said with utter disappoint in his voice.
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