She had always been gentle to me. Even after I broke our hearts, I can still remember the gentleness of her lips on my forehead when she knew she could not change my mind.

I missed her touch, her voice and her stare. Even her scent fills the craving that I had of her. The feel of her hand in mine brought back the memories and let my heart swell with joy.

We didn’t talk. We didn’t do anything but walk hand in hand in the rain under the single umbrella I owned.

We’re wet and the wind is cold, but I never felt anything but the warmth from her presence.

I looked around and saw how people scrambled, running through the streets with or without anything above their heads. It’s as if they dread the rain. Was the world moving too fast? Or are we just slow?

I looked at my side and admired Yoona. Just one look of her peaceful face sent a genuine smile to me.

We can walk like this forever. When the world becomes a blur of passer-by, you will only be the one clear memory I’ll keep dear.

As if on cue, you turned your head to face me and sent me a smile.

A picture perfect moment with a perfect girl, I loved it.

“Where do you want to go?”

You asked me shyly. I shrugged my shoulders and looked around.

Where exactly are we?

I saw a park across the street and it triggered another memory inside my head.

“There. Can we go there?” I asked as I looked at her face once more.

“At this point, I can never deny you anything.” She smiled and we walked gingerly across the street.

Nobody was around, the trees all wet and dancing slowly to the wind.

Everything was in the shade of grey, almost all in black and white.

I dragged her hand and lead her to a playground. The place was abandoned, not a shadow in sight.

I went near the swings and sat on one. Yoona towered over me with the umbrella.

“Have you ever played in the rain?” I asked her, looking up.

She bit her lip, deep in thought. “I don’t know, I don’t recall.”

She still doesn’t remember. Only I remember.

It made me sad for who can recall those memories but only me? It was almost as if it was only a dream, a dream only I can see.

“I’m sorry.”

There she is again, asking for forgiveness for things that she didn’t do.

“Don’t say that again.” I stood up, startling both of us with the sudden proximity; her face a few inches from mine.

“But—“ I cut her off by taking the umbrella by my hand, setting it aside. She looked at me surprised.

“Let’s play in the rain.”

If you couldn’t remember what we had, I’ll give you new ones to keep. If you’ll lose them again, I’ll be just here to remind you, to make new ones to remember us by.

I smiled as I placed my bag under the swing.

“No, you’ll get sick!” I can hear your worry. I missed that too. I miss the feeling that you cared.

You tried to open the umbrella again but I stopped your hand.

“Come on. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little water. No rain in the states? Coz we had plenty in Paris.” I smirked and smeared my wet hands to her cheeks.

“Hey!” She cried as she chased me, my laughter slowing me down but I was way ahead of her.

I ran backwards sticking my tongue out at her. I saw her smiling, laughing, running to me with full speed.

I turned and ran faster this time, eager not to get caught.

I am soaked now from my head to my toes, the water never sparing an inch of me. I can say the same for Yoona, with her hair dripping wet, droplets falling as she chased me.

I stopped in awe as I witnessed a grand fountain in front of me. Somehow it reminded me of the fountain back at the greenhouse Yoona brought me for our first date.

There were only a few lights lighting the pathways but the fountain shone bright as the water danced.

“Gotcha.” I heard her whisper as she wrapped me with a back hug.

I smiled. She rested her chin on my shoulder as we stared at the beautiful sight in front of us.

“Is it okay?” I heard her ask.

“Okay to what?” I answered, not taking my eyes off the fountain.

“To hold you like this?”

It was gentle and soft, but the words made my heart bleed.

I wanted to tell her that you don’t have to ask. You don’t have to when you still have all of me.

I spun around and wrapped my arms around her neck, embracing her tight.

“It’s okay if you let me do the same.” I buried my head deeper into her, smelling her scent, drowning in her warmth as I felt her hands wrap around my waist like they used to.

I said everything was in black and white, but not until I saw how her cheeks blossom the shy shade of red.

Oh how I loved how colours started to spread around me once more.

*

Contentment; I never thought I’d find it sooner than I expected. Just staring at Yuri’s sleeping face brings a smile to my face, the kind of smile that I thought I’ve lost when we parted.

She’s right here, mere inches away from me, and our bodies feeding off from each other’s heat. The wetness and cold only a memory when we took shelter; not in the extravagance of our homes but in a simple rented room we availed.

The room was small, only a box with a queen-sized bed, a dresser and an even smaller bathroom. It is far from our accustomed setting, low-ceilinged and plain but presentable enough.

I don’t need a lot of comfort as long as I have you by my side. You’re enough for me. But am I enough for you?

I held her hand and I hugged her, but it does not confirm anything. Here I am completely in love with her without even knowing if she feels the same.

Maybe she’s just someone who missed a friend. Or her ex-girlfriend for that matter.

The thought saddened me and nearly broke my heart all over again but I’m too willing for it to happen if I’ll be given longer time to spend with her, I’d gladly accept everything.

I scooted closer, suddenly afraid of the separation I’ve imagined in my head, my insecurities and past hurts haunting me again.

We were so close I can feel her breath on my face and a tiny movement of my fingers will brush against her own. Our legs almost touching below the shared blanket we had over us.

I gave a sad smile as I gingerly raised my hand away, with a finger stretched out, trying to trace her features in the space between us. My left hand hovered just above her face, almost cupping her face.

I sighed and curled my fingers back and formed my hand into a fist.

I can’t. I’m not supposed to.

Her hand raised and grabbed my hand, making me cup her cheek with her hand on top of mine.

I smiled as her eyes fluttered open.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” She asked cutely, blinking her eyes and caressing my hand.

“I did, I just woke up.” I lied; not wanting her to know how I’ve been creeping on her.

“Liar.” She mocked anger and pouted, making me grin. “Your eyes are bloody red, explain yourself liar.”

“I wanted to look at you. As much as possible, as much as I can.” I confessed, my eyes roaming around avoiding hers.

She removed my hand on her cheek and intertwined our fingers, placing them just below our faces.

She moved closer and closer until she stopped and hesitated a bit.

“Can I hold you like this?” She asked, looking like she wanted to hug. I shook my head as I let go of our hands.

She looked crestfallen as she started to shift her body to scoot away from me.

“We can do something better.” I said and turned her around, her back pressed to my front as I encircled my hand on her waist. I felt her holding my hand securely when I rested my head in the crook of her neck, smelling her scent. She let our legs tangle, making us feel like we are not two but only one being, moving as one, breathing as one.

“Is this better?” I whispered to her ear as I closed my eyes.

“Definitely.” She whispered back and slowly I drifted off to sleep.

*

I woke up with a jolt and my hands automatically searched for her but I can’t find her anywhere. I forced to open my eyes but it was only darkness. Was I only dreaming? If I was, what a cruel joke it is.

I sat up abruptly, not comprehending anything; the room was dark with only a digital clock to see. The time was a quarter after one in the morning. I started to shake the grogginess out of me when a door opened, flooding light into the room. It was too bright I couldn’t make out anything except I can sense a few movements from that direction. The doors closed back again, restoring the room of its darkness. I can’t seem to think logically just yet as sleep clouded my brain.

I felt the bed dip and hands cupped my face.

“It’s me honey. Let’s go back to sleep.”

I’m hearing her voice again. This must be a dream. This is one of those dreams where she’d call me honey and we’d cuddle in bed, sleeping together. This is one of those dreams where she didn’t leave.

I let her pull me back to bed, my back hitting the soft mattress as she placed her head on my collarbone, our arms hugging each other as if unwilling to let go.

These are one of the dreams I never want to wake up to.

*

I groaned as I woke up, the sun’s rays hitting my face, playing tricks in my eyes.

I rubbed them as I sat up in bed, trying to recall the beautiful yet strangely long dream. I’m waiting for Tae or Hyo-unnie to come barging in to wake me up.

My eyes squinted to adjust with the brightness. I couldn’t help but feel confused.

Where in the world am I?

I closed them again, strangely, this room looks like the one in my dream, but minus the girl.

I sighed and tried to stand up, stretching my limbs lazily.

I was in the middle of yawning when the door burst open revealing Yuri completely dressed with a paper bag in tow.

I closed my mouth immediately and gulped.

Oh my God! It wasn’t a dream! I was so bold initiating all that!

How embarrassment gnawed me as we stood there looking at each other.

She broke off the stare first, smiling at me and closing the door. She placed the bag on the table together with something looking like a key-card. She removed her coat and shoes and walked barefooted towards me.

“Good morning sleepyhead. I bought some breakfast. Hungry?”

She smiled wider when she heard my stomach grumble, making me blush.

“Good morning Yuri.” I replied as she pushed me down gently to sit into a chair.

I took note of myself, clad in pyjamas as she was in a gorgeous outfit, straight out from a magazine cover.

She started to remove items from the bag, revealing a pack of sliced fruits, a few muffins and two cups of hot chocolate.

She didn’t even let me move as she prepared everything herself, opening the packs and stirring the cups carefully.

I smiled thoughtfully. I don’t mind waking up from those wonderful dreams if this is the first thing I see every morning.

“Eat up ho—“She stopped midway as she diverted her gaze to the muffin. Maybe she finds it more interesting to look at than my bare face, I have no idea.

She was acting shy and wouldn’t even look at me as we started eating in silence.

“Here, try this honey.” I said as I offered her a piece of apple from my fork. She was quite surprised with the nickname.

“I remember last night.” I smirked at her teasingly until she squealed, her face all red, standing up to playfully slap my shoulder.

“I’m sorry it slipped.” She reasoned, sitting back and looking down as I finished laughing.

“It’s nice to hear it again after a long while. I’m glad you still remember.”

*

I never felt so hot and embarrassed like this. I didn’t mean it to slip my mouth, but I wouldn’t deny how I itched to call her that ever since we met again.

I felt a heavy burden lift off my shoulders when I heard her laugh. She looks so happy it was enough to make me happy too.

How could I forget?

I smiled at her. We ate peacefully after that. Her appetite was still a marvel and it warmed my heart knowing she didn’t change much through the months of separation.

“You’re still hungry aren’t you?” I teased as I saw her pouting as I cleaned the table. She looked up to meet my eyes.

“Yeah.” I chuckled at her unattempt to hide her voracious appetite.

“If you want we can head out and get something.” I offered.

“Let me take a shower first then let’s get some ice cream.” She said with a smile as she stood up.

“Ice cream?” I asked, puzzled. Isn’t it too early for that? It was only seven in the morning.

“I’m craving for some strawberry ice cream.” She smiled as she walked away towards the bathroom.

A smile was playing on my lips as I sat back on my chair, listening to the sound of water running as she took her shower.

“I’d love some mango ice cream too.” I whispered thoughtfully as my heart pounded with joy and excitement.

Today’s another day I fall all over again for you.