Ouch.

I open my eyes slowly and let it wander around. I touch my forehead and rub the area that bumped to the window.

Where am I?

I look out and saw that I was indeed inside the car and I was sitting on the back seat. It then occurred to me that this is the summer vacation they've planned for me. By they, I meant my family. Still, I don't know where I was going. I just remember the scene last night when they told me that I'm leaving early the next morning for their surprise vacation for me. I don't remember waking up early or leaving my room, I guess they got me carried all the way to the car. I look around me and peeked at the driver's seat. It was Robert, our faithful driver, a very cheerful man if I may add. I don't think he noticed that I was already awake. 

I look outside.

Trees. Mountains. Grass. Flowers. River. Bridge. Mountains. Trees. Trees. Trees. Grass. Field. More trees.

Where on earth is he taking me?!

I haven't seen a house for like an hour now, I haven't even seen a single person! Sensing that the scenery is not getting any more interesting than plain green, I checked my phone to ask my parents for my destination, and I won't take 'SURPRISE!' as an answer. Who knows where this surprise can be.

Crap.

No service? Seriously? Is this even possible? In my whole life, as far as I can remember, I've never doubted technology and now I'm very, very disappointed.

I laid back and tossed my phone to the side. I guess I just have to sleep again and hope that I'm already there when I wake up.

'Good noon Miss. We have arrived!' Robert greeted me when I stirred, sensing the slow progression of the car until we came to a halt. 

'Arrived where?'

'Oh! Here at your grandfather's old rest house! Ahhhh. Nice fresh air!' He exclaimed while getting my luggage from the car.

I reluctantly stepped out of the car. I see a house in the middle of a vast field of blooming flowers.

'That?' as I pointed the only house in sight, stating the obvious.

'Yes, that! Isn't it lovely?!' Robert squealed.

'How are we going to get there? It's still far away.' I told him while getting my ignored phone, checking if there's a connection. I sighed. No such luck.

Robert just stared at me with mocking shock,

I just raised my brow. An unconcious habit I picked up along my short life span. 

'We are going to walk. Now, let's go! You used to love going here!'

'What?! You must be kidding me, I don't remember ever coming to this place.'

'Yes you have. When you were still a child. You used to pick up these flowers and place them in the basket in front of your bicycle.' He chuckled.

'I still don't remember.' I said while following behind Robert in a small dirt road somehow hidden at first glance. It seems like the only way to get to the house without stepping on the flowers.

It was silent. I only hear the occasional crumpling of leaves beneath our feet while we walk, the sound of faint chirping of birds and the soothing sound of the rustling leaves while the wind blows.

We arrived at the house. It wasn't really that far. I think I just exaggerated a little before.

'Who planted all these flowers? He or she could've spared space for the car to get through' I commented.

'You made it that way.' Robert smiled while unlocking the front door.

'I planted all of that?!' I almost shouted. It just couldn't be.

'Of course not silly! You told your grandmother before that you like to see all the flowers wherever you lay your eyes upon. So, she had it planted everywhere. you were quite spoiled, you see?' he grinned while getting inside with all my luggage.

I just don't remember. I stayed outside to look at the surroundings. Hmmm. I walked around the house and indeed, it was surrounded by the field of flowers. Everywhere I lay my eyes on.

Then I stopped.

I saw another foot path leading to a big tree with a swing at the backyard.

I sat at the swing and noticed that there's a treehouse up the tree. I found no ladder, so I guess I really have to climb up. When I arrived at the treehouse, I inspected the place. It looks sturdy, made of hard wood, with glass windows, a bed, a chair, an office table, a chest and a cabinet. It looks like a small, cozy room. The bed was greatly made and I sniffed even though I have a case of severe allergy and found out that it was fresh. The room was dust free. I guess they had it cleaned before they brought me here. I don't want to have an asthma attack and ruin my 'perfect' vacation.

I sat on the chair beside the table facing one of the wide glass windows. It directly faces the house so I can see Robert through the big windows that he's doing something in a room, in which I guess is the kitchen. I opened the drawer and found a cute, worn-out leather bound notebook with red strings keeping it locked and sealed and looked like it wasn't opened for years. I opened the notebook and gasped.

Oh my. It's mine!

I read the big letters spelling out my name. I traced each letter with my finger with a small smile escaping my lips.

IM YOONA

Even before my handwriting is quite crooked. They say I write like a boy, or sometimes worse, like chicken scratch, they say. Meanies.

I flipped every page, enjoying the bit of memory that comes with it. With every doodle or words I wrote there, never fails to bring a smile or sometimes I even laugh. I just scan through it knowing that I have the whole vacation to read and study each thing I wrote. And then I came to the last page. It was different because it's not full like the others and it seems like I had been thinking hard before I chose my words to write. There on the page is a neat array of words, gently written with all sincerity.

I, Im Yoona, 7 years old, promise that whenever I find myself a girl that I truly love, I will show her this place and confess to her. I promise with all my heart and with all the flowers that blooms here every summer, that you shall see her smile someday and see just how I fell in love. :) 

I smile at what I wrote before. How silly of me. How carefree and innocent. Untainted with the world's standards. How sweet.

I was brave.

I was confident.

Now, I lost that bravery and confidence.

I sighed.

Can I ever fulfill that vow that I made for myself? How can I ever afford to let myself down and crush that innocent promise?

Sadly, I've grown into someone alien to this little brave girl who was never afraid to be herself. 

I wish I was like her.

Never afraid to love.

Never afraid of standing out.

Never afraid of being myself.

And so I closed the notebook and stuck it inside my pocket.

I looked out into the field of flowers.

Will you ever see the one I will love and see how much I've fallen for her?

I saw Robert get out of the house probably searching for me.

I rushed out of the door, but before I went out, I whispered something to the wind so that it can take my message to the ears of that brave seven year old girl.

'I'm sorry.'