It’s been a few months ever since I broke our hearts but the stinging pain never left every strand of my being. How can I find happiness when everything I see reminds me of what we used to be?

I hugged my arms around me as the wind harshly blew, engulfing me with the coldness that never matched the brewing storm in my heart.

My brain can convince me that I can live without you, but my heart dies with every try. I tightened my hold on my coat and closed my eyes slowly as I stopped from walking. I have walked this path for God knows how much but whenever I think of you, I still get lost, scrambling to find my way back.

The mere thought of you is a puzzle for me to find my heart.

I looked up as a lone tear made its way down my cheeks.

“The Eiffel Tower isn’t that pretty when you look at it with tears in your eyes.”

I quickly brushed away my tears and looked around to see the owner of the voice just now.

I just looked at him with a questioning face.

“It is.”

“Okay. I can’t argue with that. But you should try looking at it with a happy heart for once; maybe you’ll find it more beautiful by then.”

“For once?” I raised my brow.

“I’ve always seen you walking here before. I never saw you happy.”

I looked down and sighed. There’s nothing I can do about it.

“I don’t want to scare you off, but I’m still hoping that maybe next time I see you here, I can see you smile.” Right then the stranger turned around to leave, making me puzzled.

I gripped my coat as I looked up, trying to speak. As I see the figure moving away, I finally found my voice.

“Hey!”

I took a step. One. Two. Three.

I wanted time to stop but it never did. But I looked down to my feet moving.

The world won’t stop for me but I can move to turn it all around.

I hasten my steps and called again.

“HEY!”

A small smile made its way to my lips.

I was greeted with a warm smile and a wondering set of eyes.

“What’s your name?” I asked, as I tried to even out my breathing.

“Why?”

I shrugged.

“It’s Dan.”

I nodded. Dan.

“I’m Yuri.”

“It’s nice to meet you Ms. Yuri.”

“You don’t have to call me miss.” I insisted.

“I have to.” And I can see by the way his eyes glinted that he is as stubborn as he could be.

“Anyway, I have to go.” He said as we just stood there without doing anything.

“Oh okay.” I said and turned around to leave.

“I’ll see you around.” I heard him say and I just nodded, knowing that he was looking my way.

*

“Are you trying to gain weight?”

I rolled my eyes with the poor attempt of talking with me.

“I don’t gain weight.” I said, bored, stuffing my face with pizza and coke.

“She’s right. That was a stupid question.” Hyo resumed her game on her phone and got pounced by an angry midget.

“Are you telling me I’m stupid?”

Here comes trouble.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Yes you did!”

“No I didn’t!”

I just sighed with the ruckus they made. They’ll never grow up.

I made my way out and wiped my hands on my jeans. It’s getting cold.

I rubbed my hands together and blew air into it and started walking.

I should’ve brought a jacket with me.

I found my way into a playground where nobody seems to hang out.

Who will? This is a college students’ area.

But I was happy that they made this here. At least there’s a place where I can be alone.

I sat on the swings, slowly swinging myself. Everything is quiet and I can only hear the sound from the metal swing and my own heartbeat.

I took out my phone and looked at the wallpaper. I miss you.

I looked at the pictures of us. I’m thankful that the heavy feeling starts to lighten and I can breathe freely again, but not before I tear my heart open when I see something which reminds me of you.

I looked up and saw the trees sway with the wind, making me smile with the comforting company they made for me.

I looked further and locked my gaze on the moon.

It was beautiful but not as magical as it was on the lake.

Maybe it was about the place?

Or  maybe because you’re not here beside me?

I shook my head with disbelief and smirked. I can’t believe I’m still a fool for you.

My phone rang and I raised a brow before I smiled in happiness.

I just registered this new number for a few months now and it always makes me happy. It takes my mind off the depressing thought of you.

“Yes?”

I smiled and chuckled as I listened to the other line talking.

Maybe this way I can find happiness again.

*

I sat on the rooftop of the apartment I’ve been staying in. I should have been doing my paper now but I couldn’t put my mind into it. I smiled with the sight of the moon.

I can still feel the way your arms wrap around me in a protective embrace.

It was the time that I once believed in forever.

I sighed. Why can’t I just move on?

My friends, my family, they are all moving in their own pace and here I am still stuck in our one summer together. Right at this moment I am still standing at the edge of the lake with your hand in mine.

“Don’t try to kill yourself.”

I snapped back to reality and gasped as I realized I was indeed standing at the edge—of the building.

“Here let me help you.”

I let my hand fall into the one who’s going to take me back to the real world.

“Why are you here?” I furrowed my eyebrows.

“I live here.”

“I haven’t seen you here before.” I stated again, looking at the person in front of me with a bit of worry.

“I just moved here a few days ago.”

“You’re not following me?”

I just heard him laugh.

“Of course not.”

Dan.

*

“Good. Bye.”

I finally turned my phone off. The time difference is killing me but just a few minutes talk with that person always makes me happy.

I clutched my chest as painful memories clouded my mind again. I can hear my heart breaking once again, and I cried.

“Yuri!”

I shouted, without a care to the world. I just wanted to call out her name; even for once!

“Yuri.” I whimpered. The wind blew hard making me hug myself.

“You promised me forever.”

I looked up to the moon.

“I didn’t know forever will end too soon.”

I crouched down into the ground and hastily wiped my tears. I folded my knees and rested my head there, hugging them in the process.

“You still hold a part of me Yul.”

I looked up at the moon, knowing wherever you are; we’ll always be under the same sky.

“Every day I ask myself if I deserve this. I refused to believe that we are not meant to be together. I wanted everything to be a dream. But just one look to the spot next to mine, empty, it crushes me knowing I was awake all along. I watched you break my heart.”

“Kwon Yuri!”

I cupped my hands around my mouth, hoping that the gentle wind will carry the message to the rightful one.

“Teach me how to love again!”

And if you hear the lonely voice ringing through the still air of the night, you’ll see the girl who comes every night and sit on that playground, crying.  People may judge, people may think she’s crazy, but all she wanted to do was talk with the one she loves. It’s heart breaking to hear her pleas when the one who needs to hear them most will never be there to listen. But it’s okay. It never hurts to try, right?

Talking to the Moon

Try to get to You

In hopes you're on

the other side

Talking to me too

Or am I a fool

who sits alone

Talking to the moon

*

“Yoona.”

The girl shifts at her chair on her balcony, hugging her knees as she braced herself with the cold night air, looking up into the shining orb in the sky.

“Can you hear me?"