I rolled in bed when I woke up at dawn.

There's no use in sleeping anyway since there will always be the same girl invading my mind.

I stared at the ceiling, recalling my 'date' with Yuri. I felt the corners of my mouth lift up.

So that's how it feels.

Now I know why my friends sway themselves after their dates. The effect with being with someone special is like wine, you get so drunk with happiness you'll eventually feel your knees getting weak.

I touched my cheek.

She kissed me.

Then I muffled my squeal with my pillow.

Gosh. 

I scream like a schoolgirl!

I rolled again in bed, not feeling tired at all.

Then I felt something vibrated somewhere in my back.

It was my phone.

One new message.

from: Honey

hi hon, i couldn't sleep. :(

My heart skipped a beat. It seems like I don't know whom this giddy heart really beats craziily for. I replied.

to: Honey

hello hon :) i missed you. awww. maybe because you slept the whole day? keke.

from: Honey

err, about that. i'm sorry i didn't get to text you hon. i wasn't sleeping the whole day, well, i thought i was but some things happened and i needed to do something. :( i'm sorry.. :(

to: Honey

i guess it was really important hon. hmm, it's okay.

Honestly, I felt hurt. She could've just texted me that she's doing something rather than have me wait for her texts the whole day. I can feel my chest constricting.

from: Honey

hon, i'm really sorry. i can feel that you're mad. i wish i didn't do it. i'm really sorry. :(

to: Honey

it's okay hon. hmm, i think i better sleep now. you too.

How can I be so cold? I guess this is what jealousy feels like. I'm jealous of whatever she was doing which is obviously more important than me. I feel sorry for myself for actually waiting eagerly for her texts.

I sighed. I'm pathetic, but still I couldn't just ignore the stinging feeling in my heart. 

I need to cool off.

I got off from bed and wore some loose shirt, a jacket, jogging pants and some shoes.

I left my phone on the bedside table and went downstairs.

I drank water and fished my keys.

When I went outside, it was still a little dark. I glanced at my wristwatch. 4:30AM.

I can feel the soft breeze on my face, so cold yet so gentle. Then I started to jog towards the lake. I wasn't really taking the jog seriously bacause I'm not really someone who exercises. But right now, I need to distract myself from this painful feeling that eats me up inside.

I arrived at the warehouse and got my kayak into the water.

The feelings I felt was consuming me. They were so powerful that I cannot control myself but to channel it to other ways. I've never felt this way before.

Each powerful of my oar takes away a part of me.

I channeled every pent up heartache, frustrations, jealousy and hurt with every paddle into the water.

I actually paddled lke I was competing in a race, so fast, so powerful.

My kayak went zooming in the lake, as it broke the tranquil stillness of the water.

I paddled until I can feel my muscles hurt. I gradually decreased my speed, and as I was near the point of stopping, I couldn't help but let out the tears that are forming in my eyes.

I cried softly, feeling the tears gliding down my face. I felt every pain and every heartache. I savored each one with every sob I let out. I bit my lips to stop me from letting out my cries but I failed. 

With so many thoughts whirling in my head, one stood out.

I just couldn't hate you. I hate myself for not being there. I'm sorry I cheated.

Yes. I cheated. I swore to love only Honey, but now, my heart is just as confused as my brain.

I've only been with her for a day and look what I've become?

I've become a cheater.

A cheater because I can't help myself. I can't help but fall for you Kwon Yuri.

I cried louder and looked up to the sky.

The sun is peeking from the east, with the red and orange hues lighting up the sky.

Sunrise.

It marks a new day, a new life.

A new life indeed, for from this day on, I'll be living as a cheater.

How can that be when Yuri and I are not even together?

Well, that's why I'm cheating. Because, I know I've given her a piece of my heart and now, it's still longing to be with her again. While a part of me is guilty of my feelings for my special Honey. I've never been so confused in my life.

I stopped crying and just relaxed.

I leaned in a lying position and closed my eyes. I started to remember the events the last time I went in this kayak.

Kwon Yuri. My hearty. The girl who managed to captivate me in a single smile. My first love. 

I remembered every touch, every word, every sound and every little thing that we did together. I remembered the feeling of her soft lips on my cheek. The shy look on her face when she did it. I remembered the feeling of happiness I felt whenever I'm with her. I remember her, and now, I'm missing her a lot.

I spent some time in that position until I felt warm with the sun high up in the sky already and hitting me with its rays.

I started to go back. I can feel that I'm wet with sweat already. I want to take a shower.

I placed my kayak back inside the warehouse. When I was about to get out, a figure jumped at me. I was so surprised that I fell on my .

"Aaaah!" I shouted with my eyes closed as I waited for the impact from the floor. 

When I looked up, I can hear soft laughter muffled by something.

I went out to find out who was brave enough to play with Im Yoona.

There she was, the most beautiful culprit I've ever laid my eyes upon. I smiled.

"Hahahaha. I'm sorry Yoona. I couldn't help myself." She said as she calmed down.

"It's okay Yuri. Well, you almost gave me a heart attack, thank God I'm still alive." I laughed as well.

We started to walk slowly on the lakeside. With some jokes here and there. I feel better with her around like this.

"Uhm, so what brings you here this early?" I asked as I sat on the shore facing the water. She sat down beside me.

"I was out jogging. I didn't notice I was going far until I saw you on your kayak. I followed you until I saw you inside the warehouse." She smiled.

I picked a small pebble and threw it into the water.

Plop.

I smiled. An idea hit me as my stomach grumbled. I stood up and reached out my hand.

"Uhm, do you wnat to have breakfast with me?" I smiled hopefully as I looked at her.

She looked at my hand and took it.

She was standing right beside me and held my hand.

"Sure."

And once again, my heart melted with her smile.