„Well, hyung, I’m a little bit hungry.“ Ken whispered on the driver’s seat. My thoughts had kept me awake the whole time and so I listened secretly to their conversation the whole time. “We could stop somewhere if you want to.” My cousin whispered back and I decided to join the conversation now. “Well..I’m also a little bit hungry.” My cousin turned around and looked surprised at me. “Did we wake you up?” Ken whispered and I shook my head. “No, don’t worry. But can we stop somewhere and get something to eat please?” I begged my cousin with my eyes. I was indeed very hungry and I hoped we could stop somewhere.

After 15 minutes Ken found a fast food restaurant and decided to park the van in front of it. My cousin and I woke up the other members (I avoided waking up Leo and Ravi in the backseat!). They were all tired but Hyuk, Hongbin and Ravi got excited when they heard the word food. They were also really hungry. Leo was the only one who didn’t look happy and just followed us into the restaurant with his usual silence. “Sun, you can search for a table and wait for us there. We’ll take care of the food.” My cousin winked at me and I watched the boys standing there and ordering food. They were all saying different things and I really felt sorry for the poor cashier. The restaurant was almost empty and so I sat down at a big table for 8 persons and waited for the boys. Leo was the first one who joined me and sat down with a coffee in his hand. I didn’t know what to do now. I couldn’t just ignore him but I also couldn’t just act in a normal way. Why was it so difficult? He has a girlfriend, so what? We could still be friends. The word ‘friends’ made me feel a little pain in my heart again. I didn’t want to be just friends with him. I wanted to be more than that. I wanted to be…

“I’m not hungry..” “Huh?” I came back to reality and looked like a fool at Leo who was looking at me now. “You were staring at me..so I thought maybe you were wondering why I wasn’t with the boys.” He explained and yes, my cheeks turned red again. Great, now I stared at him just because I thought about forgetting him. I love my life so much right now. I looked on the table and thought about a way to get away from Leo. “Is everything ok with you?” His question made me looking at him again and I nodded. “Yes, why are you asking?” I forced a smile. “You’re acting weird since we left the concert. You sat between Hyuk and Hongbin instead of sitting in the backseat..” “I already told you all that I got sick in the backseat.” Where was this conversation going? “You didn’t get sick the last times. I had the feeling you enjoyed sitting in the backseat with me.” I looked on the table again and stared at a black spot on it. I just wanted to distract myself. I wouldn’t tell him anything. I would just pretend that nothing ever happened between us. It was the best for both of us. “Sun.” I felt his eyes lying on me. “Tell me what’s…”

“FOOD!” My cousin shouted and put a tray with a huge amount of french fries on the table. Thank you, Hakyeon! For the first time since I moved in with the boys I was really happy that Hakyeon disturbed us. The other boys came with drinks and Ravi carried a second tray with many burgers, chicken wings and nuggets on it. Who should it all that? They all sat down and everybody (except for Leo and me) grabbed a burger. I grabbed one of the drinks and was so happy that it was Coke. I really needed something like that right now. I ate French fries with ketchup the whole time while the boys ate everything on the other tray. They were really hungry. They teased Leo once or twice because he was just drinking his coffee but their appetite was bigger so they stopped and continued eating. We all started to talk about the camping trip and Hakyeon told us that the location was near by a lake and that the manager had told him that it would be beautiful there. I was really excited to watch the filming of a diary episode of them. I’ve never seen one and was really curious what they would have to do.

After they ate everything (even the last french frie on the tray) Ken looked around and spotted a playground for kids in the backyard of the restaurant. He jumped up (joined by Ravi, Hyuk and Hongbin) and they went ouside. My cousin’s words “This is for kids!” were totally ignored and so N, Leo and I followed them outside. It was a huge climbing contraption with a long slide at the right side. At first we just watched Ken, Ravi, Hyuk and Hongbin climbing on it, then my cousin pulled out his phone and took a video of them. “For our Starlights.” He winked at me when he noticed my confused look. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Leo walking to a trash can and throwing away his empty coffee cup.

Even Leo joined the boys after a while and they all had a lot of fun. Sliding and climbing..like little kids. My cousin filmed it for a while and then he also decided to join them. I watched them with a smile but then I felt a certain need and went back into the restaurant. “Hey, where are you going?” My cousin shouted and I just shouted the word “Toilet.” back to him. I went inside the restaurant and headed straight to the toilets. Maybe the big cup of coke was too much, I thought to myself.

I washed my hands carefully, looked in the mirror (I looked totally sleepy and exhausted) and then I left the restrooms. I got a really big shock when I saw Leo standing next to the restrooms leaning against the wall. “Oh, hi Leo, are you waiting for someone?” I tried to sound normal and thought that he was maybe waiting for one of the boys. “Yes. You.” He answered and came closer. I tried to get away but I ended up with my back on the wall. He put his hands next to my head. I was trapped between his arms and looked in his eyes. What the..? “What is wrong with you?” His soft voice sounded strict now and my heart started to skip a beat. “No..nothing, Leo…everything is ok..” I stuttered. “I don’t believe you.” I got really angry now. Why the hell was he even caring about me? He should just leave me alone and live his life without me. This stupid idiot should just disappear.

“Just leave me alone, Taekwoon!” My voice got louder now and I noticed that he was shocked now. Good for me, I thought, and bent down and slipped through his left arm. When I walked outside I shortly turned around and saw him still standing there looking totally confused. My heart was hurting so much because being left alone by Leo was the last thing I wanted in this world. In fact I wanted him on my side but it was impossible.

I immediately joined the boys who were still climbing and sliding outside and hoped that Leo wouldn’t tell them about the situation that happened a few minutes ago. My cousin was really happy when he noticed me also climbing with them and I had to admit that it was really funny up here. Leo didn’t join us and I was wondering where he went because he wasn’t standing on the bottom of the climbing thing. The boys didn’t notice that he was missing because they had so much fun but I noticed and wondered if I was too hard to him. But on the other hand..he was the one who was playing a game, not me. I didn’t have a boyfriend. He was the one in a relationship. He had been in charge of stopping this whole thing between us before it even started.

After 20 more minutes (it was really late now) we all headed back to the van where we also found Leo who was already sitting inside the car sleeping on the backseat. Well, Ken had forgotten to shut the car…again! One day we will be robbed, I thought. Ken asked my cousin if he could drive now because he was really tired. I changed seats with Ken and so I was sitting next to my cousin now. The drive to the camping place took around 30 minutes. N and I whispered the whole time because the boys were all sleeping and talked about the old times when we were kids. It was so great with him and I on top of that I forgot about Leo for a moment.

We arrived at the camping place. The owner was already waiting for us and handed my cousin a key to a wooden house. “It’s the group room. You can all sleep there.” He yawned and my cousin apologized because it was so late. The man left and N and I carried the bags into our sleeping place. We let the boys sleep until we brought everything into the room and then N took care of waking s up. I used the time and changed into my sleeping clothes and laid in one of the beds. I pulled out my phone and decided to write Lin a message before sleeping. The boys slowly entered the room, still looking sleepy. Ravi fell on one of the beds and immediately fell asleep (he started to snore again that’s how I knew he was sleeping) and the other ones went one by one into the bathroom and changed into their sleeping clothes. After that they all yawned and laid down in their beds. I also got really tired now and looked at my phone. I would write Lin tomorrow, I decided, put my phone away and closed my eyes.