I woke up in the morning because my phone was ringing really loud and didn’t stop. With my eyes still closed I searched for it and when I found it I answered the call. “Yah..?” I yawned. “Oh, did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” “Mum?!” I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes. “Yes..how are you? Is Hakyeon nice to you?” I looked to my cousin who was still sleeping peacefully and because of that I decided to leave the room for the phone conversation. “One moment please.” I whispered, put on my shoes, grabbed the room card and went outside.

“Sorry, I had to leave the room. Hakyeon is still sleeping and I don’t want to wake him up.” “No problem. Now, tell me. Do you like living with your cousin? Is he nice to you? Are you feeling comfortable with him?” “Everything is fine. Hakyeon is..” I stopped when I noticed that the door next to our room was opened and Hyuk and Hongbin came outside laughing and talking. “Morning, Sun!” Hyuk said but I quickly put my finger on my mouth. Both of them looked surprised but remained silent when they stood next to me. “Who was that, Sun?” “Friends of Hakyeon. We’re on vacation in Busan.” I explained to her. “YOU ARE ALONE WITH GUYS?” I held the phone one meter away from my ear because my mum was so loud. “Mum…please calm down..” “Well, you are old enough..but please do me one favor..” A favor? “Yes?” I was worried now. Hyuk and Hongbin came closer and tried to understand my mum’s words. “Please think of protection.” Hyuk and Hongbin were both lying on the floor now because of their laughing. Luckily they were trying to hold it back so my mum didn’t notice it but still it was so embarrassing. “Mum, I have to go now. Thanks for calling. I love you.” I quickly said and ended the call.

My cheeks were burning and the two boys were now laughing really loud and were rolling on the floor. I was standing there dumbfounded and waited until they were finished with their laughing. “Oh..mums are the best..” Hongbin said while standing up and wiping away a few tears. Hyuk’s face was as red as my cheeks and I stared at the ground. Thank you mum…thank you so much. “Don’t take it too serious. She’s just worried about you.” Hongbin said and my hair. I felt my cheeks turning normal again and looked at the two of them. “Why are you up so early?” I asked them and wondered. “Oh..we wanted to go jogging before breakfast. We need training for the concert.” Hyuk explained and now I noticed that both of them were dressed in sport clothes. “Do you wanna join us?” Hongbin asked and I thought about it. Well, yes, why not. I nodded. “I’ll just change my clothes, ok?” “Yes, take your time. We’ll wait right here.” Hongbin smiled and I went back in the room.

“Ok, let’s go.” I said to the boys when I got back to them and we all went in the elevator and drove down. Outside we started to warm up a little bit and stretched us. It’s important before you do sports. Hyuk and Hongbin were really good in shape I had to admit and we had a lot of fun. After 15 minutes of stretching we finally started to jog. “Let’s take this way.” Hongbin suggested and Hyuk and I followed him. It was really exhausting to run with the boys because they were running pretty fast but I managed to keep the pace with them. We didn’t talk much while running but it was really comfortable to do sports with two friends.

I didn’t know how long we jogged but when we came back to the hotel Hakyeon was already up and opened the door of our room when I knocked. He looked surprised when he saw me totally sweaty and breathing heavily but he didn’t say a word. “I went jogging with Hyuk and Hongbin.” I explained to him when I went into the bathroom. “Ah ok.” I heard his voice. I took a quick shower and got ready for the breakfast now. “Btw…my mum called today.” I told Hakyeon when I came out of the bathroom. “Oh, how is she doing?” He asked me with a smile and I told him a little bit of the conversation but I avoided mentioning the “protection” thing because it was too embarrassing for me. We both went to the elevator now and drove down. We kakaotalked with the other boys and told them that we would all meet at the breakfast table then.

I was so hungry and the buffet was so big. So many delicious things to eat. I grabbed a bowl and filled it with different fruit pieces and yoghurt. I also filled a cup with coffee and went to a big table where my cousin was already sitting. He was eating eggs and drank orange juice. I sat down and smiled at him. One after another came to our table and after 5 minutes all of our group were having breakfast together. Leo was the only one who didn’t eat anything he was just drinking black coffee. “Are you not hungry, hyung?” Hyuk asked him surprised and started to eat his second egg. He shook his head and my cousin started to scold him. “You have to eat something.” But Leo didn’t show any reaction and just drank his coffee. “Maybe we should feed him.” Ravi said and held a slice of bread in front of Leo’s mouth. He just sent a death stare to Ravi and hit the bread away which landed on Ravi’s plate again. “Huh..maybe I should feed, Sun.” Ken laughed and held his fork filled with egg in front of my mouth. I hated eggs. Ken didn’t let go off me and I tried to escape. My cousin helped me and pulled Ken’s arm away. “Leave Sun alone.” He said and Ken looked disappointed. “Thank you.” I smiled at Hakyeon. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, Sun.”

Hongbin and Hyuk started to laugh now and the others just looked confused. What the hell was going on with them…..no, please..not..my cheeks started to get red. “I guess Hakyeon is the best protection.” Hyuk laughed and Hongbin almost fell of his chair now. Please, stop, I thought to myself and looked into my lap. “What is going on with you two?” N asked the two and the other boys looked also curious. “Ah..Sun’s mum called her in the morning..” Hongbin started to explain but he couldn’t finish his sentence because of his laughter. Hyuk continued then: “…and when her mum found out that Sun is alone with guys she asked her to think of protection…” Hyuk’s voice cracked and Hongbin and he now were both almost falling of their chairs. There was silence for a few seconds but then Ken, Ravi and also my cousin started to laugh really loud now. My cheeks were burning again and I just wanted to disappear into a hole or something similar.

Leo was being silent and calm as always and just looked around with any emotions in his face. After a few minutes they stopped laughing and wiped away the tears in their eyes. “Your mum is really cute.” Ravi said and Ken agreed with him. “Can we stop talking about it?” I begged and looked into my yoghurt-fruit-mix. “Yes, sure, and besides…Sun doesn’t need this because she is my cousin and you are my bandmates..so, things are settled..” My cousin smiled but the others just giggled which made my cousin glare at them. “Don’t you dare to turn my sweet cousin into a bad girl.” He raised his fingers and warned the boys laughing. I rolled my eyes and ended up looking at Leo.  It seemed like he was smiling a little bit and his eyes were lying on me. He looked away when I he noticed that I was looking at him. Last night I kissed him..he kissed me…no..we kissed. What did this mean?

After the breakfast we started to head off to the beach and we spent the whole day in the water. We had a lot of fun. The waves were really big and it was so funny to jump into them. The day went over way too fast and after we had dinner at a restaurant we decided to spend the rest of the evening in the hotel lobby with a few cocktails. Around 11:30 pm the hotel lobby where we were sitting was completely empty. Nobody of us wanted to go to bed though and then Ken came up with an idea. “We could play hide and seek in the hotel.” Hyuk and my cousin were totally excited and I liked the idea, too. It sounded funny. “Ok, how do we know if somebody got caught?” Ravi asked and we all thought about it. “How about we send a picture in our kakaotalk group?” I suggested and all of them agreed with me. “Ok, since it was your idea with the phone you should start.” Oh really? Thank you, dear cousin, I thought to myself and rolled my eyes. “Ok..I’ll count to 50..get ready.” I said and closed my eyes. “Well, when you have send the picture in kakaotalk I suggest that the caught person has to come back here and starts to count again and you can hide yourself in that time and the others do the same.” “Yes, good idea, Hongbin.” I smiled and started to count then. “1…2…3…4..” I heard the boys running away.

“48…49…50.” I opened my eyes and looked around. Of course nobody was here so I started to search. I went up to the first floor and looked around. I couldn’t spot anybody so I continued my search and went up to the second floor. When I reached the third floor I decided head back into the lobby and look there. I called the elevator and when it arrived and the door opened I had to smile. “Got you.” I said and grabbed Ravi who was sitting on the floor. “Damn it.” He laughed and I took a picture of us and sent it to the boys. “Got Ravi!” I wrote and the boys started to in the group a little bit.

I started to run away and decided to hide myself in the staircase to the third floor. It took Ravi a long time to find somebody but finally he caught Ken. The picture he sent in kakaotalk was really cute. We played until 1 in the morning and then my cousin wrote in kakaotalk:

N: Ok..last round..after this we all go to sleep, k?

Hyuk: Yes

Ken: Agreed!

Ravi, Hongbin: *thumbs up emoji*

Leo: Ok

I also sent a thumbs up emoji and searched for a new spot to hide while Hongbin was counting to 50. After a few minutes I decided to get back into the lobby. I was so sure that he wouldn’t search there, I smiled and went back. My heart started to beat a little faster when I saw that somebody had the same idea as me. “Looks like we had the same idea, Taekwoon.” I said and sat next to him with a smile on my face. He looked at me without saying a word and I was confused. He looked so serious and cold. “Is everything ok?” I asked him carefully but he just looked on the ground without saying a word. My heart was beating so loud now that I was afraid that he could hear it. Maybe I should talk to him about what happened last night between us. I took a deep breath and searched for the right words.

“About last night, I..” He immediately interrupted me. “There’s nothing to talk about.” I looked at him with a shock. What did he mean? “But..” “No buts..let’s forget it..” He mumbled and looked around in the lobby. My heart felt like it would jump out of my chest and I felt tears coming up in my eyes. Why was he acting so cold? We kissed last night and now? Let’s forget it? “Leo, please..let us talk..” I tried again and held back my tears. He looked surprised into my direction. He looked me in the eyes for a few seconds, then pulled out his phone and wrote something. My phone vibrated and right in that moment he stood up and went away without saying anything. I opened kakaotalk and saw that Leo wrote something in our group chat.

Leo: I’m going to sleep now. Sorry and good night.

My hands were shaking and a few tears were running down my cheeks. Why was he acting that way? And why did it hurt so much right now? Did I have feelings for him? Feelings for a friend of my cousin…his bandmate? Feelings for a guy who promised to not have a girlfriend while he was still an idol? Feelings for a guy who was obviously only playing with me?

I felt the tears running down my cheeks. It hurt so much but suddenly I wiped them away and got angry. I wouldn’t waste my time on an idiot like him. I would just forget him and would also forget about our kiss and would just enjoy the time I could spend with my cousin. After Hongbin had found me in the lobby the boys came back and we all decided to go to sleep now. N looked at me strange the whole time and when we entered our room he asked me if I was alright because I looked so sad. I just told him that I was only tired and that everything was ok. He nodded but he was still suspicious..I could see it in his eyes. I will forget Leo. I promised myself and repeated this sentence in my head over and over again until I fell asleep.