One year.

It has been exactly one year since I last saw Myungsoo, since I last talked to Myungsoo.

I don't know how time passed like this. After visiting his apartment for the last time, I left. Physically and Emotionally. I moved out of Hoya's to get a stable job in another part of Seoul and never saw Myungsoo again. With all the commotion of moving and getting a new job, I had been too busy to even walk to the community's grocery store to buy some food, nevertheless go back to the west side of Seoul to see him again.

Today was one of the many bitter, cold nights in Seoul. The air itself was frozen and there was a light fog blanketing the city. I dug my face into my chunky knit scarf and the leaves under my feet were crunching as I went out of my way to step on them.

It was odd that I chose my one free days off of work to go to West Seoul. The familiar lights and sites triggered chords of my heart and memories started to spark up from nowhere. It was all calming as I walked up and down the streets, stopping by at little shops while sipping on my hot chocolate.

It was getting late but I didn't want to go home, although I had nothing to do here. Something pulled me, kept me towards this side of Seoul. I think that's why I didn't want to visit. I was scared that I would remember everything that had happened a year ago. I was scared that I'd cry again after seeing all these familiar attractions.

Before I left, Myungsoo had asked me if I would smile again, if I would go back to the little girl I was. I just gave him a laugh in response. People have been telling me that I looked a lot happier. I was smiling more for sure and pranced around everywhere like I used to. But of course, no one knows what goes on inside of a person.

I sat down at one of the benches in the middle of the park. Trees and buildings were already glittering with Christmas lights at this time of season and I sighed, watching lovers walk together hand in hand, laughing and teasing each other. I hadn't had a boyfriend since me and Myungsoo broke up. There was nothing wrong with that, I just had forgotten how it felt to have someone hold me.

After a while of sitting there quietly, I grunted as I got off of the bench. By now there wasn't anyone else in the park. I checked my watch that read 12:31 AM. No buses even made stops this late.

I looked up from my watch to see a figure just standing there in the distance, looking towards my direction. I looked behind me but there wasn't anything or anyone there. The person came closer and I frowned as I got ready to throw out a kick but the figure stopped when he was about 20 feet away from me. The street light nearest to the person struck a shadow across the their face and my heart skipped a beat.

Myungsoo.

No it can't be Myungsoo. Things like this never happened in real life- unless it was fate.

I blinked a couple of times and so did Myungsoo. We just stared at each other with no movement. We both held our breath, waiting for the other to make the first move, to say hi first, to wave, something.

"Is that you?" Myungsoo's voice cut through the silence like a knife. His voice was like music to my ears, his words rolling off of his tounge.

No.

I couldn't say this- I didn't like him. He was just a stranger.

"...Is that you?" Myungsoo asked again when I didn't reply.

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to say something but no words tumbled out of my mouth. Instead- I just nodded.

Myungsoo gave a small smile and started advancing towards me.

I didn't move.

He stopped a few feet away from me and we awkwardly stared at each other. There weren't any notable differences about his face. He was still the same good looking Myungsoo I had known except for his pose and clothes showed that he had matured. I smiled in my head, noticing that he had his Canon DSLR camera hanging around his neck.

"What are you doing here?" Myungsoo asked.

"I got a day off of work and I thought that I'd visit," I replied.

"Oh," he said.

There was a silence.

"Are you eating enough? ...Your skinnier," he frowned.

I just laughed in response, "Am I?"

Myungsoo just gave a nod and I felt stupid for smiling- laughing.

Then, he dared to speak again, "Why didn't you call?"

"W-what?" I looked up into his eyes.

"I called you and you never picked up," he grumbled, looking down.

"I changed my phone number," I mumbled. I remembered how much I wanted to throw away the memories of Myungsoo and I - even by going through the trouble of changing my number. 7 years was a long time to make up. A long time filled with just me and Myungsoo in our own fantasy- well for some of the time. But after we seperated, I felt like I wanted to start new again, without him.

"Oh," he replied. He grew red in the cheeks and now it was his time to feel stupid.

I felt like we were in high school all over again. There was an awkward silence and I could almost hear the wheels in both of our brains turning, trying to decide what to say without it being awkward.

It felt weird, looking at him after one year. I wanted to ask him how he was doing, I wanted to sit down on his bed while drinking chocolate milk and eating kimchi fried rice while watching old movies.

My skin itched to touch him and my heart pounded. I guess I forgot how much I really loved Myungsoo... I knew what people meant when they said that you never truly get over your first love now. Myungsoo was my first love.. and I was so scared that he would be my last.

FLASHBACK:

"Seohyun! Wait for me!" Myungsoo huffed as he got up from his kneeling pose. He was yet taking another picture. I just ignored him and smiled, dancing along the Christmas-lights lined path. Today was one of the many bitter, cold nights in Seoul. The air itself was frozen and there was a light fog blanketing the city. But I felt warm.

I smiled, twirling and breathing in the icy air. Myungsoo just laughed and snapped pictures of practically everything and beamed at me.

"I've never been here before!" I smiled brightly, taking in all the new surroundings. Although I lived in Seoul my whole life, no one had bothered to take me to a place like this- except for Myungsoo.

"We should come here more often then," Myungsoo chuckled at me. I felt something warm come up beside me and Myungsoo held my cold hands with his warm ones. I just grasped his hand tighter and rocked our hands back and forth.

I nodded in response, marveling at the beautiful path we were following.

"You know, there are more beautiful places than here. I'll bring you somewhere new every week," Myungsoo smiled down at me. I knew that he had to go traveling to a lot of scenic places because of photography.

"Really?" I looked up at him, clearly excited.

"Mhmm," he nodded and brushed some hair out of my face. I felt my muscles tense up as he smiled at me. He leaned in closer teasingly, but then turned away. I took a deep breath out.

Come on Seohyun, calm down, it's just your first kiss. You love Myungsoo so you can give it away to him, right? I furrowed my eyebrows, juggling the different choices in my head. Should I kiss him? Should I just wait for him to kiss me? Well what do I do if he kisses me first?

"Are you okay?" Myungsoo asked.

"H-huh? .. Yeah," I snapped out of it.

Myungsoo laughed at me, "What are you thinking about so hard?"

"Uh," Why was it that at times like this I couldn't find anything to say?

Myungsoo just laughed at me, "What- kissing?" My cheeks turned bright red and I couldn't look up at his eyes... So I looked at his soft red lips. Myungsoo gave me a smile and started to lean forward.

"Can I?" He asked. I had told him that I wanted to give my first kiss away to someone special and he had always honored that.

I nodded and when I saw Myungsoo leaning forward, I tightly shut my eyes as I felt his lips press onto mine. He pulled away and beamed down at me and put his arm on my shoulder and helped me walk as I was still dazed and slightly confused at what just happened.

-end of flashback-

Myungsoo looked at me weirdly as I started to tear up staring at him. The image of him smiling and laughing with me flickered across his stolid face. I blinked my eyes shut and shook my head trying to get the image of us together out of my mind but the sound of our laughter just chimed louder and echoed in my eardrum.

"Are you alright?" Myungsoo asked.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Are you sure?" Myungsoo asked, slowly, noticing my fists clenched tightly. Why was I acting this way? I was fine 5 minutes ago before he popped up in front of my eyes.

I nodded quickly, "Yeah. I have to go. Maybe we'll see each other soon?"

"W-what? Oh, yeah," Myungsoo said, shooting me a smile.

I gave him an ill smile back and my heel, walking away quickly away.

Myungsoo's POV:

I didn't even ask how she had been doing this past year.

I imagined us meeting again thousands of times. I thought that she would cry and leap into my arms, begging me to take her back. Sometimes I would be so enraged that I even considered hurting her heart to show her how much pain she put me in by leaving me.

But then I realized that she had a right to leave me.

I realized that I was doing it for her, no matter how much it caused me pain and grief.

I realized that I love her too much.

I thought that if I saw her again, some of my heart would be relieved but it just feels like someone's crushing it all over again. It was awkward between us. She looked surprised when she saw me. Maybe a little too surprised. I mean, I don't blame her.

I would've been speechless too but it wasn't much of a surprise because I planned it out.

But now, I'm regretting.