Seohyun
- - - - - - -

I maneuvered my way through the thick crowd of people dancing. How would I ever be able to find Howon? I sighed and mocked myself for actually agreeing to meet him at the club. Stupid. I'm never coming here again.

"SEOHYUN!" I heard Howon's voice and I turned around to be face to face to him. I shot him a glare.

"FINALLY!" I shouted over the loud, booming music.

He smiled and held my hand, "Come on." He led me to a room overlooking the dance floor.

"FOOD!" I exclaimed as I saw a bunch of food on the table.

He laughed, " I kind of have to tell you something."

I dived in for the food, "Mhm, go ahead."

"I want your attention, Seohyun," he sighed. I was surprised at his sudden seriousness but I swallowed the food in my mouth and changed my sitting position so I was facing him. It was really uncommon when he wanted to be serious with me.

"Seo. You know your my best friend," he started. I nodded.

"And I care for you so much and I love you," he continued as I nodded again.

"And I really hope we never change our friendship..."

"-If your worried that I'm going to obsess over my relationship with Woohyun and he's going to replace you, don't you worr-"

"I'm moving."

I put my hand to my mouth as I looked at him for any trace of joking or lies.

"Yeah right," I picked up a shrimp.

"Seo. I'm not joking," he said stiffly.

"Psh," I leaned back in the couch but I didn't want to look back into his eyes- just in case he was telling the truth.

"Look at me," Howon pleaded. I dared to look at him and he wasn't smiling, laughing and his eyes weren't wavering.

"Yeah right," I whispered, "Your not moving..."

"I'm sorry-"

"Is this because of work? Because I'm pretty high up in the social ladder at the office and I'm pretty sure I can make something work out-"

"It's not because of work. It's because of my parents," Howon muttered.

Parents.

Oh, parents.

They ruin everything.

"Can't you jus-"

"Do you think I want to leave Seoul and go back to Busan? No, I don't!" he snapped at me.

There was a silence filled with tension. A bunch of questions flooded into my brain.

"When are you leaving," my voice cracked as I asked the most important one.

"Soon," he replied.

"Soon as in a month?" I asked hopefully. Maybe I could spend more time with him before he left.

"Soon as in tomorrow," he answered with his head down.

"Why would you tell me this now?" I tried to hide the anger and fear in my voice If I didn't have Hoya, I didn't have anyone. He was the only person that meant the world to me anymore.

"I tried to tell you but I couldn't get myself to," he said with his head down.

"You should've told me as soon as you figured out so we could have had some time to at least spend time with each other!" I went into full rage.

"Well you wouldn't have anyway because your so freaking busy with your work all the time!" Howon said, frustrated.

"I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry! Is that what you want to hear?!" Hot tears started to spill out of my eyes. Howon sighed.

"No matter what, we're always best friends. You know that, right?"

"I don't have anyone now..." I sobbed.

"I'm not dying," Howon chuckled.

"Your going to be on the other side of the freaking country," I cried harder thinking of having to drive days just to see his face.

"We can webcam," Howon suggested.

"YOU KNOW I HATE ELECTRONICS," I said with a shaky voice.

"I'm sorry. You know I don't want this. And I might come back in a couple of years."

"Years?" I asked in a quivering voice.

"On holidays," he promised.

"I'm alone."

"You have Woohyun- Oh yeah, talking about Woohyun... or any other boy in that matter- I want you to tell me if anything's wrong with anything because I know you have a problem with expressing your feelings. I worry about leaving you, Seo," Howon confessed.

"I'm fine with expressing my feelings."

"You aren't."

I sighed, "I'm not."

Howon gave me a smile, showing his canine teeth.

"Don't let any bastard hurt you, alright?" Howon said.

"Oh God, don't say things like this, I'm just going to cry even more. It sounds like your making your last words," I sniffled.

"I'm not going to let you go through crap alone," Howon my hair, "I'll always be here, okay? I'm your best friend."

"I hate this so much," I muttered, "I just can't believe this is happening so fast. I didn't suspect this at all..."

"It's because your so worried about work and - Oh yeah, about WORK. Stop stressing yourself out, your going to start balding in your early twenties."

I gave him a small smile.

"Come here," he said. I walked over to him and he stood up and took me in his arms. I laid there as we talked about every single thing. I couldn't take in the fact that this was my last night with him. It didn't seem like it was real. It seemed stupid that he didn't tell me before but I didn't want to get into a fight over it. We reminisced our memories and laughed. 

After what seemed like five minutes, a knock on the door interrupted our fun.

"Times up," the barista said. I glared at her.

"They go by-the-hour here?" I muttered. Howon nodded.

"We could go to Starbucks for fifteen hours and no one would say anything," I said under my breath. Howon heard me and laughed. 

"You can come in now," the barista said to the people waiting for our room. I gave a menacing look over at the crowd who looked oddly familiar. I squinted my eyes-

-Oh shoot that's Myungsoo. I stared at him as him and his crew got up from the waiting tables. We walked past each other. He stared at me also and gave me a small smile. I lingered my eyes on him but I looked away.

"Was that...?" Howon started.

"Yup," I answered him. He looked at me to check if I was okay but I didn't display any emotion.

"Here it goes with the "hiding emotions" thing," Howon mumbled.

"It's because I had no emotion when I looked at him," I murmured.

- - -

I watched as Hoya's car drove away. I saw his black silhouette wave to me as I stood there in my tears. I never felt alone as ever. I didn't have parents, I didn't have any best friends- let alone real friends-, I just had a boyfriend who I didn't feel like seeing right now.

I couldn't stop my tears as his black Audi turned the corner and disappeared. I wanted to run after him but it wasn't like I could catch up to that expensive car with my fitness skils anyway.

I slugged back into my car and just sat there, staring out into space.

Wow.

In a total of one day and the leave of one person, my life totally switched around. My phone vibrated and I picked it up lackadaisically.

From: Won
Don't you dare keep crying Seo. I love you ^^ Don't worry, no one will replace you. And no one will replace me. Cause I'm your #1. Remember?

I set the phone down in the cupholder of my car- If you say that, I'm just going to cry even more you idiot. Saying goodbye to him was so hard. We never had a love relationship but it felt like I was breaking up with him. Thoughts of all the times he helped me and made me laugh when I thought it was impossible to even smile kept coming up in my brain. I remembered the first time we met, how we just clicked like that. How he was my only friend.

I always believed things happened for a reason but I seriously didn't know why he had to leave.

Maybe he made his impact in my life and it was time to change someone else's?

Either way, I was unhappy with the world right now. 

Very unhappy.



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i am gravely sorry to you howon supporters.