"He's terrible right now," Sunggyu pleaded. I just looked down and didn't say a word.

Sunggyu was one of Myungsoo's closest friends. He had called me and asked me to grab some coffee with him. I didn't know that he would talk to me about Myungsoo. If I had known- I would've declined. I hadn't even imagined that he would meet me just to discuss the mental condition of his friend. It had already been three weeks, going on the fourth, since I had last seen Myungsoo and just like I predicted, I was slowly forgetting him. Even if it was harder than I thought- I didn't dare show it.

I gave a small smile, "He'll get over it."

Sunggyu shook his head, "You don't understand. He will never get over it."

"People need to stop telling me that I don't understand," I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee. I felt cruel taking his heartbreak so lightly but I had nothing to do with him anymore. I was doing my part to stay out his life. Although, I couldn't deny that it killed me a little inside hearing all of this.

"You don't. He won't eat or anything. He won't stop talking about you. Everything reminds him of you... He broke all connections with all the other girls he used to talk to and hang out with-" Sunggyu realized what he just said when I raised my eyebrows.

"The girls he used to hang out with, huh?" I said, "I guess everyone knew about him cheating on me."

Sunggyu sighed.

"Sunggyu. Whenever people hear my name, they automatically associate me with Myungsoo... People at work still ask me how he is and don't believe me when I say that we broke up. They all tell me that they were waiting for the marriage and it hurts to hear that, but you don't know how much crap I went through because of him. Getting back together would just make things worse from here on."

Sunggyu leaned back in his chair and rolled his tongue in his cheek as we stared at each other.

He finally spoke, "Then can you at least talk to him or something?"

------

We arrived at Myungsoo's apartment complex. Everything was all too familiar as Sunggyu and I walked to the entrance of his place. I couldn't deny the fact that everything reminded me of Myungsoo too. The roads that we walked together, the things we used to do, the places he promised me he'd take me... It all brought tears to my eyes, even if I didn't love him anymore- even if I didn't want him back.

I wasn't thinking about what I was doing as I mindlessly followed Sunggyu into the apartments. As the steel doors of the elevator opened, I couldn't get myself to walk in. What was I even doing here? I closed my eyes. When I opened them, Sunggyu was looking at me oddly, waiting for me to step in, holding the elevator doors open with his hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked slowly. I just nodded and walked in. Myungsoo lived on the highest floor and there was an awkward atmosphere as we rode the lift in silence.

"You've changed," Sunggyu said quietly, breaking the silence.

"I know," I replied.

"It's because of him isn't it?" Sunggyu asked. I looked away and didn't say another word as the elevator doors dinged open. Although Hoya was the first one to spot it, everyone around me slowly began noticed how much I had "matured". I felt it in myself too. I wasn't able to laugh at the same things and I definitely didn't trust everyone as easily- in other words, I wasn't as naive. I had grown up.

We got off the lift and Sunggyu typed in the code to get into Myungsoo's house- he hadn't changed the password, our anniversary. I thought back to the day Myungsoo had first suggested that we live together. I didn't want to be a burden but he insisted. I agreed and as the months passed, I had grown so attached to my boyfriend that I couldn't even sleep if he wasn't by my side. And with that, Myungsoo made it his duty to sing me to sleep, hold me to sleep, talk me to sleep every night before he went to sleep. No matter how tired he was. That of course, didn't last long.

I took a deep breath in as I walked into the apartment. I took in a sharp breath of air and cringed. There was a disgusting stench that came from... everything. Sunggyu noticed my expression and gave me a look that said, 'I told you so'.

"Come on," he led me to Myungsoo's room- our old room.

The door creaked as Sunggyu gently opened it to reveal Myungsoo slouching on his bed with an ill expression on his face, staring out his window. He slowly turned his neck to see who was coming in with no curiousity what-so-ever but his eyes widened as soon as he saw me.

"Seohyun," he breathed. He shook his head and blinked a couple of times as if he didn't believe that I was actually here. I looked around his filthy room and took in its revolting state. There were used tissues all over the room, his sheets were hanging off the edge of his bed, clothes strewn across the room. Our pictures were flown all over the floor and uneaten food and cups were stacked on every flat surface visible. The slightly opened curtains shed light into the room, but only to reveal the dust particles flying about.

Myungsoo weakly pushed himself off his bed and staggered towards me. He took a good, long look at me before he lifted his arms around me and gave me a warm hug. I glanced over at Sunggyu over Myungsoo's shoulder and he nodded. I wrapped my arms around Myungsoo... For the first time not as a girlfriend.

I gently pat Myungsoo's back as his hot tears wet my clothes and seeped through onto my skin.

"Baby," he weeped.

"Shh," I comforted him. Sunggyu quietly left the scene and there wasn't any other sound in the room except for Myungsoo's soft sobs.

"Are you coming back?" he asked through his sniffles.

I cringed and my heart squeezed. I didn't want to reply.

"...Your back right?" he asked again, hopefully. I just pat his back some more.

"Please tell me that you'll come back. I can't live without you. I'm dying," Myungsoo cried.

"Don't cry anymore," I pulled back from the hug and took a good look at his face. Although it looked as if he hadn't shaved or showered in a while, he was still gorgeous. His dark eyes were glistening with tears and his perfect face structure was never-changing. The only difference was that he had black circles under his eyes and he had lost weight. I caressed his face and wiped away his tears with my thumbs and gave him a small, reassuring smile.

He looked deep into my eyes with those beautiful orbs of his that first made me fall in love with him and closed his eyes, leaning forward, heading for my lips. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my face away from him. Tears started to form in my eyes as I watched him leaned back dejectedly.

"Your killing me," he breathed.

"This isn't the Myungsoo I know. When have you ever cried and suffered for someone this long, huh?" I asked, "Gain some strength. I heard that you won't even eat anymore."

Myungsoo didn't say anything and just stared into my eyes. I stared right back at him.

"Your going to leave, aren't you?" Myungsoo asked as he slowly inched his way back into my arms, "You don't love me anymore, do you?"I couldn't find my voice as he started to shake and cry again. Myungsoo had never been the type to cry this much. Sure every now and then shed a couple of tears, especially when he put on his show the many times he tried to hold me back, but he would never cry as much as this.

"I can't do anything to keep you by my side anymore... Can I?" Myungsoo asked.

I just shook my head into his shoulder as he squeezed me tighter.

-

what a messed up boy ... lolll
how was everyone's thanksgiving? i had some good 'ol korean food. no turkey or mashed potatoes.... my parents are super - korean -______-
i slept in until three in the afternoon today cause i was so exhausted from black friday shopping & lemme tell you. i am never going black friday shopping agaiiiiin -.-
i waited for 2 hours in the line to check out at Hollister and then bought nothing else for the rest of the 5 hours we were there..... and if you know Hollister, it is a dark, smelly maze in there and crazy people were grabbing clothes and pushing people and i touched so many strangers that night......

lol anyway :)
thanks for reading, subscribing, and commenting. only like 1/10th of you guys comment -___-
don't be shy, i don't bite.

thank you! <3

OH PS. i am so sorry for making you guys cry. welllll, it is angst right ?