Although I had a lot to say, it was like the words decided to hide inside my throat the more Myungsoo tried to persuade me. I wanted to tell him how much I hated him and how much I would never ever try to get into a relationship with him ever again.

I wanted to be the one to do the talking, to hurt him even more because all the mishap that he caused in my life.

But no, that didn't happen as planned. The more he stared into my eyes with his fiery and passionate ones and squeezed my hand gently, the more my heart cried out for him.

"You will, won't you, Seohyun?" Myungsoo said, staring into my eyes and caressing my hand. No. I wanted to shout. No, you're only human. You can't promise me that you won't mess up because I guarantee that you'll screw things up again. 

I just shook my head.

Myungsoo let out a small sigh but kept persisting. This time with a slightly disheartened tone, "You don't know how hard it is to keep asking you when you always reject me."

I stayed quiet and thought to myself. I wasn't sure if Myungsoo ever changed. I spent seven years with the man and throughout the decline in our relationship due to his cheating, I didn't see him change. Although people might act different on the outside, aren't they always going to be the same person on the inside? Besides, I wasn't even sure if Myungsoo and I would be able to hold a stable relationship. My paranoia would probably hold our relationship back like iron handcuffs attached to an adamant boulder. We had our ups and downs but maybe it was just time to move on. Frankly, I didn't want to deal with the stress and complications of being back with Myungsoo. The pain...

"Please. Trust me and I'll fix everything else," he pleaded, clenching my hand.

"Myungsoo..." I said slowly.

"W-wait," Myungsoo stuttered and me, letting go of my hands slowly, "Stop..." He leaned back and sighed, chuckling softly to himself. "I don't think I can take you saying the words 'no' and 'don't' and 'can't' anymore."

I stared at him as he just glared with an empty look on his face at his lap. "It's hard to have the one you love always be rejecting you," Myungsoo whispered. I swallowed the knot in my throat.

"How do you know I'm going to say 'no' again?" I asked quietly. The words flowed out of my mouth without command. What was I doing? Myungsoo looked up at me slowly with a hopeful look in his eyes. The illuminating, shining lights of the city reflected off of Myungsoo's dark orbs. A smile slowly appeared on his face as he attacked me with a loving embrace.

So I guess he took it as a yes.



- - - 


The next couple of months were the oddest months of my life. To me it was a transition from awkward friend zone to a relationship but to Myungsoo it was like nothing ever happened. He acted as if all of the bad memories were erased from our history. I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. If anything, shouldn't I have been the one acting like nothing happened? He was the one that made the mistake.

The day after the night I apparently accepted his confession, I was confused as ever. Myungsoo held my hand and greeted me with a kiss on the forehead but on my account, I wasn't even sure if I had said yes the night before. I warned him about my feelings and Myungsoo just took all the words I had to say and promised me that he wouldn't let go. To me, those words still sounded stupid. Just words said to comfort someone.

Yet either way, my whole concept of "don't fall in love with him" and "remember to keep your guard up" didn't go as planned. Every little thing that Myungsoo did made my heart swoon. I would never tell him or show it though.

At first when people would come up to me and ask me about me and Myungsoo's relationship, I'd just reply with an "I don't know". But the closer we got, the more I found myself nodding shyly when people asked me if Myungsoo and I were together, and smiling at his name coming up in conversations.

It disgusted me how I betrayed myself.

I heard the front door open as Myungsoo practically barged into my apartment with a bunch of newspapers with red circles around various advertisments fisted under his hand.

"What is it?" I asked him, watching him as he trodded in. Myungsoo just smiled, taking my hand and sitting me down at the dinner table, flicking the lights on.

"It's perfect," he said with a boyish grin. I looked at him with a curious look, waiting for him to explain further. Myungsoo unraveled the newspapers and handed them to me excitedly. I took the newspapers to see that the marks he had made were highlighting various ads for housing and apartments around Seoul.

"You're moving?" I asked.

"We're moving," he corrected me. I set the newspapers down and stared at him, "What do you mean?"

Myungsoo shook his head and laughed, "Exactly what I said! I got it all planned out. I spent all week stealing newspapers from my neighbors and looking up apartments and there's this one complex that's right in between your workplace and my workplace. It's pretty cheap and its clean and they let you have pets too. I know you want a dog- "

"We're moving in together?" I interrupted, giving Myungsoo a look, "You kind of failed to ask me about what I thought before you did all this, Myung..."

"Well I thought you'd want to," Myungsoo said quietly.

"I can't just move out of this apartment just like that... There are papers to fill out and stuff to be moved and..."

He put a hand to my lip, shutting me up, "Shush. I got it all taken care of, just listen to what I have to say first."

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, letting Myungsoo go on on his brigade about how perfect the apartment was and what other possible choices we had. But the only thoughts that clouded my mind were seperaration. The first time moving in with a lover is one of the best experiences but it also leads to conflicts. Living together comes with the risks of getting pissed off over sleeping habits and eating habits and staying up worrying about when he would get home and everything single thing in between.

Of course since we lived together before, odd habits wouldn't be a problem, but just as moving too slow in a relationship wasn't a good thing, moving too quickly wasn't so great either. "So what do you think?" Myungsoo interuppted my thoughts.

"Aren't we moving a little too quickly?" I murmured.

Myungsoo's smile dropped from his face, "But we've been together for... like eight years now."

"Technically only 3 months," I corrected. Myungsoo gave me a look, "Eight years. Don't you remember? August 28? Our anniversary?"

"Yeah but did you forget the past year that we wer-"

Myungsoo shook his head, "I love you and you love me. So we should move in together and get married and have twenty kids."

I stared at him and sighed. But his sweet words touched my heart. I rolled my eyes a bit and started to laugh, "Twenty kids?" Myungsoo nodded his head and leaned closer, whispering in my ear, "So what do you say? I mean, we're going to move in together anyway. Why not now?"

I felt chills go down my back. Partially because I was ticklish and partially because Myungsoo was being so y.

I shivered and pushed his face away. When I first started to this, Myungsoo always gave a disheartened look and stopped. But I guess he learned how to work with stubborn me as time passed because Myungsoo grinned and pulled me off of my chair and into his lap, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck, "Please, baby?"

"What's so great about moving in together?" I asked, slightly tensing up at the sudden contact.

"Other than the fact that we can be together all the time?" Myungsoo murmured into my neck.

I stayed silent, still stiff in his embrace until I said slowly, "But what if we get into fights and stuff?"

He tore apart from my neck and stared into my eyes, "Is that what your worried about?"

I nodded slightly, ".. And moving is a very complicated process. You have to sign contracts, go visit the actual apartment and see what it's like, take care of money and bills and I have to talk to the landlady and insurance guy and get a moving truc-"

"Hey," Myungsoo said calmly, "I got that all taken care of. And if your worried about us getting into fights, don't worry. I promise, nothing will happen that'll tear us apart this time. I won't let it happen- just trust me."

I sighed and got off of his lap, leaving Myungsoo to stare at me, a little disappointed. He didn't understand the whole seriousness of this. Moving in together wasn't something you could decide in one night and frankly, I was scared about what this could do to our future - if we had a future. Still Myungsoo's words seemed all fake to me. Even if he was all warmed up to me and even if he truly loved me, I was still careful and uncomfortable around him.

"... Are you alright?" Myungsoo asked, noting the pensive look on my face. I looked up and searched his eyes when he reached for my hand and held it, smiling at me and kissing the back of it. He made my stomach grow weak as he looked at me with those fiery eyes of his.

"You don't have to," he murmured giving me a little smile, "We can wait. I guess there's no rush."

I nodded.

"Sorry, I guess this is my fault. I rushed in and I was excited and I just assumed that it would be okay without consulting it with you," Myungsoo said. Him and his stupid guilt trip.

I shook my head, "It's okay."

"So uh, I'll leave," Myungsoo awkwardly grabbed the newspapers and slid out of his chair. I looked outside to see that it was pitch dark and glanced over at the clock on the wall to see that it was already 12.

"You don't have to leave," I called as he was slipping his shoes on, "It's pretty late anyways."

Myungsoo looked up as a smile grew on his face.

"We could go and get some food if you're hungry," I said.

"You're not tired?" he asked.

I shook my head as I got up from the table, "Let me change first." I saw Myungsoo nod as I went into my room and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. I went out and Myungsoo was ready to leave. I slipped on my shoes and followed him out the door as we head outside.

There was something about the night summer air that I loved so much. It was fresh in a way that was mysterious also. The air was cool but it wrapped around you like warmth would. It was refreshing.

We walked in peace when Myungsoo casually wrapped his arm around my waist. I stiffened a little for Myungso to hold me closer.

"Where do you wanna eat?" I asked as we passed by small street food vendors.

"Whatever you wanna eat, baby," Myungsoo replied with a smile.

I looked up at him and gave him a look, "No really."

"You probably want ddukbokki, right?" he said with a knowing look.

"Yeah..." I said, "How-"

"You always crave ddukbokki in the middle of the night. Remember how we'd use to wake up and make runs to the small shop near our old house with the hella good ddukbokki?"

I laughed as I remembered how ticked off he would be when I quietly left the house because of my cravings. He would always insist on going with me to my "adventures" so I wouldn't get or kidnapped even if it was only literally a hop and a skip away. And sometimes he would be mad if I didn't bring him back any.

"Those were the times," Myungsoo smiled as he pulled me yet closer.

"We're here," I said, wriggling out of his embrace and walking up to the vendor. I saw Myungsoo sadden a little because of my actions from my peripheral vision but I ignored it and ordered our food.

"To-go?" the worker asked.

I turned around. "To-go?" I asked Myungsoo.

"Yeah, and let's walk around the neighborhood," he said with a grin.

I turned back around, "To-go please." The man handed me the bag and I grabbed some wooden chopsticks as Myungso and I opened the to-go box full with two large servings of ddukbokki.

"So good," I said, shaking my head in delight as the delicous food practically melted in my mouth.

Myungsoo nodded, his mouth full of ddukbokki. We gleefully ate as we walked around the neighborhood, talking and laughing about random things. In a long time, I had genuine fun that I had forgotten about. It felt good that someone else was there laughing with me. Whether we had gone through troubles or not, I couldn't say that I wasn't thankful for the memories Myungsoo gave me.

There was a peaceful eeriness about the night and the way our laughter echoed through the empty streets. Being with Myungsoo made me happy. He made me smile and he made me feel like I could be who I really was. Not fake. And the way we acted was so free, as if nothing happened between the two of us and as if we were on top of the world. Like no one could touch us.

We had one of those long conversations where we couldn't remember what we laughed about twenty seconds ago and where the only silences were from laughing too much.

Time flew past and about three hours later, we sleepily staggered into my apartment with an empty ddukbokki to-go box in my hand as my arms were wrapped around Myungsoo's neck, who was giving me a piggy-back ride.

We collapsed onto my sofa as we were and fell asleep, drifting off to dreamland, and wondering how long our happy virus would last.



 

school ends on the 31st. i can update more after then :)
thanks for reading, subscribing, commenting<3 hope you enjoyed!
and i feel like i'm rushing everything. sorry, it was poorly written but this is all my small brain w/ writers' block could
come up with. LOL. guys can you please wish me luck for finals? T-T I'M SO SCARED AND WORRIED.
i neeeeeeeeeeed good grades to get all A's on my final report. whichh btw, i should be studying instead of updating but idc haha.

- - - - - -
and who should the main for my next fic be? - lol they're hella random people and idk if it's even gonna be these guys
but i just want your opinion. and it will be angst-ish.. def not fluff. just like uh, in between haha. but there will be a good amount of angst
cause i need my angst LOL . which is weird cause like none of these characters are that angsty.
alright thanks! <3