Seohyun's POV:

Every five seconds I looked over at my phone to see Myungsoo's name popping up on screen, alerting that I had missed calls and texts from him. I didn't even have the heart to read them and just deleted them right away. I wasn't going to let Myungsoo's sweet words pull me back to him.

"That bastard's at the door, you better settle it with him," Hoya grunted, walking into the guest room.

"W-who?" I looked up at Hoya. Bastard? As in Myungsoo?

"Who do you think?" Hoya said with his voice dripping in anger. I blinked a couple of times and walked out to the living room and opened the door to see Myungsoo standing there with a desperate expression on his face.

"Baby, come back," Myungsoo begged as soon as he saw me.

He reached out to hug me but I stepped back. Myungsoo shook his head and reached for me one more time but I stepped back. He suddenly fell, kneeling in front of me, his hand grasping his heart and endless tears falling from his eyes. I just watched him in pity.

"Get up," I told him. I looked away. I couldn't stand watching him like this. It wasn't like him.

Myungsoo looked up at me with his red, puffy eyes, "You don't know how much I love you."

"Then why'd you cheat on me? I gave you so many chances. It's over now," I said with bitterness in my voice. I tried to slam the door but Myungsoo didn't let me.

"I'm nothing without you," he sobbed.

"Didn't I tell you that you were the one that left me first? I left because you let me leave. I left because you GAVE me reasons to leave. Just forget that we ever happened!" I screamed in his face. The fury that I tried to hold in finally erupted inside of me like a volcano.

"I didn't know how much you meant to me-"

"STOP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Myungsoo stared at me and got up, holding my shoulders as I started to cry, "Let me go. Forget about me."

"I don't want to," Myungsoo breathed hard, "I CAN'T!"

"Yes you can," I nodded, "You'll get used to living without me. It'll be like we never knew each other. Like we never happened."

Myungsoo just stared at me, "How am I supposed to do that? I'm going crazy missing you right now..."

"Myungsoo. Your going to get over me someday. DId you ever think of me when you told me to stay?!" I shouted helplessly.

"What are you talking about?" Myungsoo asked, confused.

"You've held me back so many times, Myungsoo, and I stayed, hoping that you would change, hoping that you would choose not to go out and drink with other girls... But every single time after you apologized, you would go out again and come home with hugs and kisses thinking that I would accept you. Do you know what that does to me?! How come I can't leave? Face it- Myungsoo, even you knew that in the end, you would be the one that broke us up," I said furiously.

"Your the one breaking us up right now."

"Someone had to do it in the end," I breathed.

"No, we could be happy together, forever," Myungsoo said tearfully.

"What- marriage? Do you think that a "couple" like us would ever be able to stay married? Why can't I be the one to leave Myungsoo? Why do you have to be the one leaving me every night and then not let me go when I finally had enough?"

Myungsoo started to talk but I didn't want to hear any of it, "Am I just supposed to sit here while you suffocate me? Am I supposed to wait until you want to break up with me? Why? Why couldn't you have missed me like this when we were still together?"

"Don't say that. I can't leave you. There're things that I wanted to say to you that I haven't..... So many things I wanted to do with you," More tears dropped from his eyes.

"Do it with a girl you truly love. Someone you won't hurt and throw away like you did with me," I told him. There was a pause as we both started to calm down.

"You better go," I broke the silence.

"I don't want this and niether do you," Myungsoo said tearfully.

I gave him a small smile, "When have you ever done what I wanted anyway?"

There was another silence as we just stared at each other. Tears started to form in Myungsoo's eyes again.

"You better be ing happy," Myungsoo said through grit teeth.

I gave a small nod but the rest of my body stayed stiff as I watched Myungsoo walk away from me.

----

I thought that tonight would be the first night I would be able to sleep without wondering when Myungsoo would come home but I cried like never before.

Did I miss Myungsoo?

No.

Did I want him back?

No.

Did I still love him?

No. I could never understand the people that loved their "soulmates" after they cheated, lied, and stepped on their hearts billions of times. How could they even do that? I didn't HATE Myungsoo but I sure didn't love him again.

I wasn't even sure why tears were still falling out of my eyes. I think I was crying thinking about the 7 years that I wasted worrying about him when I could've ended it. I was crying because no matter how much Myungsoo toughened me up, inside I was still the naiive little girl I had been when I first met him. No matter how stoical I physically appeared, on the inside I was still that young, pure, childish girl, wishing and hoping that in the end, everything would be okay and Myungsoo and I could be together. 

Yet, I still wasn't used to that empty space beside me. I had Hoya. I always had Hoya. But he was only a friend. As much as I cried over Myungsoo, I couldn't deny the fact that it was worth the sleepless nights for one hug, one small smiile from him that gave me butterflies in my stomach.

I shook my head from all these thoughts.

Learn how to break up, Seohyun, I thought to myself.

Let's just pretend like there's nothing wrong and smile, just like you did before you met him. Don't cry. Never cry because if one tear falls out of your eye, a thousand more will follow. Eventually, if I live on normally without him, our love and relationship will just be a mere memory, a part of the past, right? Eventually, even if I want to, I won't remember a thing about Myungsoo and it'll be like nothing ever happened between us.

Myungsoo's POV:

I made tears come out of her innocent, kind eyes and now I'm getting my punishment.

How did I not realize how much I needed her? I have no one now. I have nothing now. Her voice. Her gestures. Her scent... I miss it all so much and its gone. Forever.

What kind of person am I? She put all her trust into me and I ruined it for her. She tried to love me but in the end she couldn't take it and she finally left.

I didn't even go to work today. Everything would remind me of her.

There were still pictures of her on my camera and on my phone. The shelves were filled with the books she loved. The refrigerator was stacked full with her favorite drink - chocolate milk. I don't want to live anymore, everything reminds me of her and I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't even hold her anymore. I can't see her anymore or hear her voice. I couldn't even call her. She wouldn't answer.

Nothing is worth her. None of the girls I hung out with are worth it because in the end they all left.. Or I left them.

My heart was still heavy with regrets. 

The only reason I let her go was because I realized that it's the only thing that I could do for her. She never asked me to do anything else but stay and I never listened to her then. This time, when she asks me to leave with all the bruises I gave her, I did it... because she can't even smile that beautiful smile with me around anymore.

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MAN. I at updating T.T ugh this story seems like its going nowhere but within 2 (?) chapters the main plot will be revealed :)
thanks guys so much.

i am thankful for each and every one of you <3
for those who celebrate it; happy thanksgiving! i hope you guys all eat a lot so you'll have energy to go black friday shopping :O stay safe and God bless!

oh and I know it seems like Hoya loves Seohyun & all but he loves her as just a friend and that'll never ever ever change. SORRY for misleading some of you guys.