Seohyun
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"I'm going out with Hana today, I'm so sorry," Howon apologized. 

Oh God.

His girlfriend.

Yes, they're official. And I knew she would fall for his weird charm.

What I feared the most has finally come. I held in my anger or simply my tears of betrayal, I couldn't tell- and nodded, biting my lip. I spent thirty minutes turning on the freaking webcam to have him tell me that he has no time for me?

"Tomorrow," he said with a pout in his voice.

"You said that like last week," I muttered.

"I'm sorry... I'm just so in love wit-"

"Oh shut up," I shut the lid of my laptop. Was I jealous?

Totally.

What happened to bro's before hoes?

Not that I was a bro.

And not that she was a hoe.

It's just that he promised me that he'd always had time for me. He said that I'd be his best friend. But I guess some promises are meant to be broken. Still, I hated the feeling of being replaced. I felt it in too many situations.

I felt bad for being this jealous and possessive over a friend. It is his first relationship where he's actually crazy about the girl. Whenever we webcam, which isn't that frequently anyway, he just blabs on and on about her.

But I guess this is how he felt when I kept confining my problems about Myungsoo with him. I mean, I should be a good bestfriend and support this relationship right?

Well, no not really.

He knew how pathetically lonely I was.

I sighed, losing the war with myself and sent Howon a message of defeat, telling him to have fun and that I was sorry and all that crap. He responded with an "I love you" and a cute smiley face to go with it. I chuckled. If someone saw Hoya walking down the street, they wouldn't dare think that he had so much fail cuteness in him.

Well, despite my loneliness, this is why I have my Woohyun right? I sent a text to Woohyun asking him to meet me up somewhere. He replied in a matter of seconds and obliged.

After about an hour, a ring came on my doorbell and I opened it in a smile, "Woohyun."

"Hey," he step foot through my doorstep and twirled me around in a hug. I smiled and poked his nose. We were getting closer and closer. Sure, I needed Howon but Woohyun was fulilling my love life very well.

He made me happy.

We had that innocent love that I wanted to enjoy with someone ever since Myungsoo came and crushed my dreams. I got so intimate with Woohyun that I trusted him on a new level. There were no secrets. And I loved it.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded and slipped on my shoes as he laced his fingers through mine.

" 'Shoes untied," he chuckled.

"I'm too lazy to tie them," I laughed. He rolled his eyes and bent down to tie them for me. He smiled up at me as my heart beat faster. He made me so happy. He mended my heart and filled all the gaps I had from all my past troubles. He was the best.

"Now your ready," he said as he held my hand again. We swung our hands back and forth as we walked to Lotte World. As much as I wanted to get away from the city sometimes, I loved it because everything in Seoul was close together. The mall, shopping districts, amusement parks, theaters, sports arenas, resturaunts... Everything was in about a minute's walk from my apartment.

We payed for our ticket and walked into the park. I smiled as I watched kids running around with cotton candy in their hands, high school couples teasing each other, and schools on field trips.

It was like the great childhood I had always dreamed of having.

"You've never been here, huh?" Woohyun asked as he squeezed my hand.

"No," I shook my head as I watched the huge balloon rides glide across the ceiling of the park, "I want to ride that!"

"We'll save it for last," he gave me a peck on the cheek, "It's beautiful when you ride it and all the lights are on."

"As long as we ride it!" I left him and rushed to one of the snack stands with hot bars.

"Food already?" he chuckled as he came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"We have to eat so we're energized for the day!" I exclaimed.

"Are you sure 'cause usually if you eat before you go on the rides, you'll throw up-"

"I'm sure!" I said as I handed the money to the woman. Woohyun snatched the money out of my hands and handed the cashier his credit card. "I'm buying okay?" Woohyun kissed my cheek. I nodded as I recieved the hot bar and ate some before sticking it in his face. He bit a piece off and ate it as we walked over to the water ride.

Just as Woohyun said, the last thing we made sure we did was ride the balloon.

I was glad I listened to him because the whole amusement park was lit up and beautiful. I looked over the side of the basket in awe as Woohyun came up behind me, "Don't fall."

"I'm not that clumsy," I chuckled. When we went through the dark cave in the balloon, he whirled me around, causing me to squeak and planted a passionate kiss on my lips. I expected him to stop when we glided out of the cave but he didn't.

Instead, he cornered me and kissed me with even more love.

Not that I had a problem with it. The ride slowed to an end and he finally let me go.

"That was so cheesy," I blushed.

"You loved it," he whispered.

The day ended quickly and I reflected on my 24 hours while staring at the same white ceiling. Today was very productive. A matter of fact, maybe one of the best dates with Woohyun.

I even learned quite a few things.

First, don't eat before riding a bunch of rollercoasters. You'll throw up. I should've listened to Woohyun when he warned me about it, but the void and grumbling noise in my stomach was just too loud to ignore. Second, don't ride the water ride at an amusement park first or you'll be uncomfortably drenched with water the whole time your at the park.

And third, anything and everything's more fun when your with someone you love.

Myungsoo
- - - - - - - - -

"You live here?" I dared to break the awkward silence in the elevator Woohyun and I were standing in. We were both obviously surprised to meet each other like this. The air in the lift was thick and uncomfortable.

"No, but Seohyun does," he replied. I stared at the button that lit up "7". That's Seohyun's floor. Damn, he was actually going to see her. I unsuspiciously pressed the button for the 34th and cleared my throat.

"Your going to see her?" I asked. He nodded.

"Do you live here?" He looked towards me and I my poker face to hide my irritated expression. I was going to see Seo, not him. Bastard ruined my plans.

"No, my cousin," I lied smoothly.

"Ah," he nodded. He eyed the bag I was holding filled with Seo's gifts and slightly chuckled. My face grew red. What was he laughing at? I hid the package behind my leg and glared at him as he stepped off the elevator at Seohyun's floor. I angrily nubbed the button for the door to close and secretly hoped the doors crushed him.

I hate him.

- -

So that's why he was laughing. Because he knew that I was sending Seo stalker gifts and stuff. And that's how he figured out that I was "L". Well kudos to him for being nosy and looking at my stuff.

I couldn't help but be ashamed at myself for being a stalker everytime I thought about it. I must've been real head-over-heels for her.

I was.

There was that time I cried over her every single day and thought about her every single second.

At that time, I was so jealous of Woohuyn I was about to punch him in the face then and there and make sure that he never made it to Seohyun's floor.

Weird, how you someone that used to mean so much to you can just disappear out of your life like that.

Love is so confusing, I didn't like it at all.

"We're here," my manager grunted.

I took a look outside to see that we were in the middle of nowhere. Indeed- we're here. I passed by the dim yellow lights as I made my way to my mother's gravestone. It wasn't her deathday but I just... missed her.

"Hi mom," I breathed. My manager payed his respects and went to wait in the car. I watched and made sure he was out of hearing distance before I kneeled beside the stone. Tears started to flow out of my eyes.

"Mom, I'm so exhausted," I sobbed. I felt like a little kid, sobbing like this.

But I didn't care.

A man has to break down every now and then.

"The life of photography isn't at all what I expected. I know I love it but I'm being worked too hard, I don't even want to do it anymore because I'm so tired. I have no time for friends and I feel like I've drifted away from them... I have no one," I cried out with a hoarse voice as hot tears made trails down my cheeks. I'm so pitiful.

I know I chose this path. And truthfully, I paved the way for this hard, long trail. But everyday seemed like another cruel, rutheless routine I couldn't get out of. It was driving me insane. I had no worth in anything. I wasn't living for anyone and I didn't have any long-time goals.

Was there a reason to go on?

No, I wasn't contemplating suicide but I was simply looking for a resting place. Someone to uplift me. Perhaps I was simply going through a really late puberty stage of depression and a feeling of loneliness.

Normal, right?

I don't know. But whatever it was, I hated the feeling of it.

"Come on, let's go," manager called from the open car window after I just sat there letting endless tears flow out of my eyes. I rolled my eyes and dragged myself up as I said bye to mom. 

The ride home was aggravating. I hated watching the calming countryside scene change to the loud city atmosphere.

Manager hyung dropped me off at home, "Schedule at 7. Don't be la-"

I shut the door before he could tell me the rest and kicked my sneakers off, rolling into bed. Despite my eyes threatening to close, I stared at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. I heard the distant sounds of traffic and the night city bustle.

Back to reality.