This was a BLOG post of mine, but I'm sharing this here for everyone to see.

This one is an edited version.

/I'm dying inside./

I had enough of crying!! since 11PM I'm already crying because of our unfinished project that needs to be submitted early morning today and up to the point of sleeping at 7AM im still shedding tears. and I already prepared myself to this before.. it just.. it still hurts to know and be confirmed.

"WE ARE (G)ONE!"

~~~

Film's update: 欢迎回家 ('Welcome Home')

Luhan's weibo update,..

I should be thankful that I can read most Mandarin words now.. but after this incident I feel like cursing myself, THIS HURTS TRIPLE TIMES seeing his words with such emotion even without a translation. (translation: I am home.)

It could mean a lot to me since Hui is use for 'back/comeback' and le is past tense or could mean another thing. ><

I knew this would happen,

I know there's something in those tears you shed,

I know there's a reason for the lack of the usual sparks in your beautiful eyes,

the different kind of smile you showed,

I know there's something that Lay is hiding from the way he takes care of you that day

and why all of the sudden D.O chanted EXO-M when you stood next to him,

and why others were distant.

you were deeply hurt,

you are hurting more than US right now,

I'm so happy that time that you changed your hair color to black

but I never knew it would lead to this..

..deep inside I feel like you're distancing yourself from them.

I thought it was just because you were sick,

but it was different on how Kai takes care of you when you had a heatstroke.

I thought you were just awfully in a bad condition and being too emotional..

but I do noticed how you eyes keep looking at your name.

Throughout the concert, you were gazing at it,

til the moment that the lift is going down indicating that the concert is officially done,

you still keep your eyes on it.

Ending talk. he was tired, so TIRED and HURT!

he knew it'll be his last stage with the members and with everyone.

.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cucKQdh2CLo&feature=youtu.be

the spark is there because of his tears,

but his eyes is definitely telling us something we couldn't comprehend before,

but now, we surely do..

this was when he was looking at those yellow LU boards till the very end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDsD8YSuvFg

and if you have noticed,

there's actually no interaction between Sehun & Luhan aside from standing next to each other..

and handling the mic to Hun. (unlike in other TLP stops) they're not even looking at each other.

I thought Sehun was just not in a mood that day..but..

HE WATCHED HIM CLOSELY.. Sehun watched the whole Luhan solo stage on the side alone.

he got himself a seat, have someone to attend him and even did his retouching on that spot.

he stayed, and eyes never leaving Han even he's drinking and someone is talking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArWaojOe4tU

~~~

bie danxin Lu-ge, we are here! :)

I knew you never lost contact with Kris,

you talked to him a lot and constantly (May-June),

knowing that you couldn't consult anyone afraid to commit mistake,

I know it wasn't your post regarding Kris departure cos since that day,

I know you supoort him and will follow him.

TT_TT I didn't studied Mandarin to read such things like this.. ><