“Haru, please hang in there.” 

 

Haru who is on the hospital trolley groaned in pain while her left hand is on her stomach and her right hand is in Sehun grip. Never once he let go of it since he saw her on the road fifteen minute ago. 

 

“Sehun~” He widened his eyes when Haru weakly opens her eyes, her long hair is all over her face, “Yes. I’m here, my love. Please don’t shut your eyes.” He wipes away the hair on her face. 

 

“Sehun..” Haru coughed, “No matter what happen, save our baby.” 

 

He is just going to answer her when they reached the operation room and the male nurse quickly prevent him from going inside. 

 

“Please save my wife doctor.” Sehun managed to say to the female doctor before he collapsed on the plastic chair.

 

“Mr. Oh, I need you to think about the possibilities where I can only save one of them.”

 

He looks up. “What? I can’t choose any of them. I want both of them. I need both of them!” He yelled. 

 

“Please, think about it throughly.” She ignored Sehun yelling and quickly enter the operation room.  

 

 

 

Afraid. 

That’s what Sehun feels right now. Looking down at his pair of hand stained with Haru blood, he can feel his body is shaking greatly. 

 

Afraid. 

Sehun is afraid of the possibilities of Haru not waking up anymore. The tears quickly blurred his view. Lowering his head, Sehun cupped his face and cries. 

 

There are no ways he can choose either of them. Haru is his life, so does Kkot-nim. 

 

 

 

 

“Sehun ah!” 

 

He lifted his head and turns to the right side where he saw both of his and Haru parents run towards him. Without telling them anything, he shakes his head and cries again. Mrs. Lee suddenly halted, she is almost fell on the floor if not Mr. Lee holding his wife tightly. 

 

“What is her condition?” Mrs. Oh sits besides her son and Sehun almost immediately leaned on her shoulder. “I don’t know mom. It’s already half an hour. The doctor said I possibly need to choose either Haru or Kkot-nim.” 

 

Mrs. Oh starts to sobbing too and Mr. Oh wrapped his big arms around his wife and his son. Mrs. Lee now walking towards the operation room door and put her hand on the it. 

 

“Please Haru. Hang in there. I know my daughter is a strong person. My granddaughter too.” 

 

 

 

 

Almost one hour after that, the female doctor comes out and all five of them rush towards her asking the same question,

 

“How’s my daughter, doctor?” 

 

“How is my wife?” 

 

The female doctor takes off her surgical mask and takes a look at each face all hoping for good news from her. 

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Oh, like I said just now, you need to choose.” Immediately, Mrs. Lee wails, “Nooooooooo!!!” Mrs. Oh covers while Sehun remained standing there with unbelievable expression. 

 

“Both of them are not strong enough to depend on each other.” Suddenly there’s a female nurse walking to them and hand Sehun a piece of paper on a small board. “The mother is trying her best to stay awake for the sake of her baby but she wouldn’t last long. You need to make the decision now, Mr. Oh.” 

 

Sehun stared at the permission letter on his hand. His hands are shaking greatly, he doesn’t know what to do and most importantly, he is afraid. Looking at the hopeful faces of his parent and parents in law, a tear rolls down on his cheek before he takes the pen and sign on the paper. 

 

“Please save her.” He pleads. 

 

 

 

 

 

Haru is currently having a dream. She knows it because she is surrounded with white walls, so white until she needs to squinted her eyes when a sudden lights shone to her. When the white light goes away, she saw a baby. A very cute baby. 

 

“Kkot-nim?” She calls and the baby smiles. The baby spread her short arms towards her and Haru didn’t wasted any time to held Kkot-nim in her embrace. 

 

“Where is your father?” Haru kissed Kkot-nim cheek and the baby giggled. Scanning her face, Haru grew softened. “You have your father milky skin and your father eyes too.” She planted a kiss on each body part she mentioned just now.

 

“But Kkot-nim, why are you in my dream?” Kkot-nim giggled again but this time she is fascinating with her mother long hair. Haru laughed too seeing how happy her daughter is. 

 

Suddenly there is a book that appear from nowhere. Seeing that, Haru puts Kkot-nim on the floor before sitting beside her and grabs the book to put it on her lap. Opening the big brown book, Haru eyes lightened. 

 

“Kkot-nim ah, it’s your appa picture.”

 

True to her words, there are many Sehun and Haru pictures inside the big brown book. That is actually a photo album of Haru and Sehun since they were small. 

 

“Kkot-nim yah, it’s weird to see your appa is looking at me in every picture. He should be looking at the camera.” Haru is too immersed with the photo album didn’t noticed Kkot-nim is not at her side anymore. 

 

Suddenly, the place turns pitch black and Haru gasped. “Kkot-nim? Where are you? Come here to umma.” She calls out. But of course, they are no answer or any baby sound. She freaked out. “Kkot-nim yahh!!” She calls again. Haru can’t see anything. She wander aimlessly with her both arms stretched out, trying to feel whatever it is in front of her.  

 

“Umma..” 

 

Haru halted. “Kkot-nim?” She yells. 

 

“Umma. It’s me, Kkot-nim.” 

 

She turned around, “kkot-nim? How..how can you speak?” Haru then felt a soft hand on top of her hand. She is trying her best to see Kkot-nim but no matter what she does, she can’t see anything. Blackness surrounded her. 

 

“Umma, as much as I love you and appa, I can’t be with you. I’m not strong enough. Forgive me umma.” 

 

“What? Kkot-nim yah!” She screams when she can feel her daughter lifted her hand, slowly leaving her. Haru tried to step forward but her legs won’t budged. 

 

 

 

 

“Kkot-nim!” 

 

Haru shot up from the bed, startling Sehun who is standing beside her as he just finished wipes her face just now. 

 

“Haru!” He hugged her immediately. “Haru! You are awake!” He then pressed the red button to call the doctor to come to the room. “Sehun!” Haru turns, grabbing Sehun hands. “Where is Kkot-nim?” Haru hands then flew to her now flat stomach, her eyes widened. “Kk…Kkot…Kkot-nim…” She trembled. 

 

“Haru…” 

 

Her eyes went to Sehun then she takes the moment to scans the room. Hospital. What am I doing in the hospital? Before she can do anything, the same female doctor who operated her comes in along with a nurse beside her. 

 

“Mrs. Oh, I’m glad you awake now. You are sleeping for two days straight for your information.” Haru stays numbed she just staring the space in front of her as she let the doctor checked her body while her hand never leaves from her stomach and Sehun saw that too. 

 

Once finished, the doctor jots something on the report and turns to Sehun, “Mr. Oh, currently Mrs. Oh is in stable condition but her legs are still weak. So we have to keep her here for another two three days and we’ll see from there.” 

 

He nodded his head, “Thank you doctor.”

 

With that, the doctor and the nurse left the ward room. Sehun took out his phone and informed his parent and parents in law about Haru. 

 

“I lost Kkot-nim.” She mumbled softly. Sehun walks to her. She looks up and her eyes are teary. “I lost Kkot-nim.” 

 

“Haru, don’t blame yourself.” Sehun puts his hand on top of her shoulder. At that moment, he really wants to pulls her into his embrace, soothing her but he can’t. Not after he took away her happiness. 

 

That’s right, he decided to save Haru instead of Kkot-nim. 

 

“I told you to save Kkot-nim, not me.” She pushes away his hand and look at Sehun with hatred. “Why did you save me?! I want Kkot-nim!” She pushes his body, pulls away the IV drops on her arm and moves her legs to the bedside. 

 

“Haru, No!” 

 

Once she stands up, she immediately falls on the floor due to her weak legs. During the accident, Haru legs received the most impact and it was the fall which caused Kkot-nim and Haru in great danger. 

 

“I WANT MY BABY BACK SEHUN!! I WANT KKOT-NIM!!” Haru starts to wails. Sehun pulls her into his embrace but Haru pushes him away. She hits his chest many times while tears are pouring non stop from her eyes. Sehun eyes are reflecting hers. 

 

 

“Haru stop!” 

 

“KKOT-NIM YAH!!!” She screams while dragging herself to the door. Sehun unable to see her like that, hugs Haru from behind and locks her inside his embrace, preventing her to do anything which only hurt her. 

 

“Sehun, I want my baby back!! Sehun please….” She whimpered on the hospital floor with Sehun who is chocked by his own tears. 

 

 

Without they knowing about it, there are many ears listened to them from outside of the room. Jongin who arrived as soon as he received the news from Sehun half an hour ago, Haru parent and Sehun parent who are crying together, feeling pity for their children to suffer this kind of incident. 

 

 

 

 

 

The treatment for Haru goes well despite Haru is behaving like a zombie. She refused to eats and do anything. When the therapy session end, she will sits on her bed and stares into space while placing her hand on her stomach. She will force herself to eat whenever her parent shows up. She refused to see Sehun and his parent too. 

 

“Haru, Sehun wants to see you.” Mrs. Lee sighed when Haru shook her head. “You know, he has been coming here everyday to see you. Let him see you. He is worried about you.” 

 

“I don’t want to see him.” She shook her head. “I refused to see him.” Without sparing any glances toward her mother, she pulls the blanket and covered her whole body underneath. 

 

Mrs. Lee shakes her head before leaves the room. Sehun quickly rises from his seat and look at his mother in law with expectant expression. Like any other day, Mrs. Lee shakes her head. Immediately his shoulder deflated. 

 

“She will gives in. You know her.” 

 

Sehun didn’t say anything. He plopped back on the seat which has been his second home for almost a week already.

 

 

 

 

 

Night comes again, Sehun peeked through the door to see whether Haru has falls asleep or not and when he is confirmed she is deeply asleep, he enters the room and occupied the plastic chair beside the bed. 

 

The truth is, without Haru knows about it, he has been accompanying her every nights and would leave the room before she wakes up. Everybody knows about this except her. 

 

Checking the report of his wife, Sehun can see that her body is getting better day by day. Sehun pushes his snapback to the back before leans in to see Haru up close. 

 

“You are getting skinny.” He whispered, unable to speak in his normal voice afraid he will wakes her up. Brushing Haru bangs aside, Sehun lovingly caresses her pale cheek. “You suffered so much because of me.”

 

Suddenly, Haru eyes wide open, making Sehun quickly retreats his hand. “I…” 

 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice full of nothing but coldness making Sehun flinched. “I think I make it clear enough that I don’t want to see you.” 

 

“Haru yah…” He softly calls out her name.

 

Haru covers her ears. “Don’t!” Then she starts to cry again. “Don’t call me with that kind of voice. Everything you do only make me think of Kkot-nim even more.” 

 

Sehun frowned and went forward, grabbing Haru both shoulders and forced her to look at him, “Look at me!” With shaking body, she stares into his eyes. “You think I want these things to happened? You think I want to be forced choosing which one I would like to save?” 

 

Haru starts to struggling, “Go away from me! I hate you!”

 

“I will not letting you go!!” He tries to hugs her but Haru pushes him away. “Why?! Why you are not letting me go?!” 

 

“Because I am in love with you!!!” 

 

Haru stops from struggling and her eyes went wide when she turns to him. 

 

 

 

“Well then listen to this. I am not in love with a murderer.” At that moment, Sehun is pretty sure his heart is broken into billions of pieces. Haru continues, “You killed my baby and I will not forgive you no matter what you do. I despised you.” 

 

Sehun let go of her. his lips and his warm eyes suddenly turns cold with a hint of sadness when he looks at Haru. 

 

 

“Very well. I will go.” 

 

Just like that, he opens the door and starts to run until he reaches at the end of the level before leaning against the wall and slid down. Sehun buried his head between his knees and soon, sobbing sound can be heard echoed through the hallways. 

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

 

Sehun zipped his backpack and put his bag on the bed. “Believe me umma, everything is wrong from the start. I shouldn’t have touched her and married her.”

 

Mrs. Oh eyes turn red and Sehun saw his mother eyes. Kneeling in front of his mother, Sehun leaned his forehead on Mrs. Oh knee. “I’m a coward umma. I can’t face her. Not after what I’ve done to her. I take her life away.” 

 

Mrs. Oh caress his cheek. “But you are in love with her.” 

 

He looks up and his eyes are reflecting his mother teary eyes. “Yes, I am deeply in love with her but umma, she is in love with Jongin. Not me. I have to do this.” He had to tell everyone about the truth especially about their pact. Although the elders are dissapointed with them for making marriage like some kind of game, however they can't let out their anger, not when both of their children are suffering.

 

A knock on the door halted their conversation. Sehun wipes away his tears before open the door. Luhan is standing right in front of him. 

 

“Luhan. What are you doing here?” 

 

“Why you want to leave?” Luhan pushes Sehun body and let himself enters his bedroom. Mrs. Oh saw the tension between of those two and quickly left Sehun room. "I heard from your mom. You want to leave. Is that true? Why? Because of SooJung? " “No, it's not because of SooJung. You don’t understand. I need to.” 

 

“You left me because of her. You said you love her then why after I suffered so much, after I let go of you,  you didn’t fight for her love?” 

 

“BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T LOVE ME. GET IT?!!”

 

Mrs. Oh who is hugging with Mr. Oh closed her eyes when she heard Sehun yells. To see her son suffered is unbearable for her. Where did things went wrong? They are perfectly together. They are happy together. Mrs. Oh wipes her tears away, “I hope Sehun will forget everything and live a new life too. They both suffered too much. It’s not fair. They both are nice kids.” 

 

“I know. I know.” Mr. Oh soothed his wife while silently prays the same thing for Sehun and Haru. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My dear Haru, 

 

I actually don’t know what should I write in here because obviously you already know how I feel towards you. I don’t know when it started Haru. Is it when you first share your lunch box with me?

 

Is it when we run away from the bully during middle school? Or is it when I stole your first kiss?

 

Or maybe, I was in love with you since day one we met only I’m too blind to realised my feelings which end up a lot of people hurt along the way. I want to apologise for everything. For taking advantages of your kindness because the truth is, during that night, I was sober enough to stop myself from putting my hands on you but I don’t know why the urge to embraced you that night is too strong for me to handle. When you are pregnant, I actually the most happiest person in the world although I clearly know you are in love with Jongin and you only stay with with me because of Kkot-nim. 

I have tried to stop loving you, My Haru. I did. But my love towards you is getting stronger day by day. What should I do? 

 

And things happened. We lost Kkot-nim. No, you were right. I’m a murderer. I’m the one who murdered our child. I put my selfishness on top of me, for me it’s okay if I lost Kkot-nim compared to you. You are my life Haru. If I choose Kkot-nim then how am I supposed to live without you by my side? I’m not that strong Haru. I am not.

 

As you can see, there are another envelope. Inside of it, are divorce papers. I’m letting you go Haru. I can’t stay with you anymore. It’s not fair when I only bring you sadness but my days are filled with happiness although we are arguing everyday. Remember our pact? Although it’s still not until one year yet, but Kkot-nim is not with us anymore. There are no reason for us to stay together anymore. I already filled in my part, you just need to fill in yours then passes it to my mother. She knows what she should do with it. 

 

Forget everything that happened between us Haru, create a new life with Jongin. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep on my promise to stay with you until death do us apart. 

 

But no matter what happen, I will always love you Oh Lee Haru. 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                       Your best friend, 

 

                                                                                                                                                           Oh Sehun

 

 

 

 

Haru puts back the letter inside the rectangular envelope once she is finished reading it. Wiping her tears with the handkerchief her received from Jongin, who has been loyal standing next to her since the moment Mrs. Oh gave her the letter just now. She turns to Jongin, “He left.” 

 

Jongin nodded, he then bends down until he maintains the same eye level with her. “He loves you.” This time, Haru nodded her head. “He gives me the divorce paper too.” They both look at the big brown A4 sized envelope and she sighed. This is not what they had planned before so to see things ended this way, she feels so sad. 

 

Jongin leans in and planted a kiss on her forehead. 

 

“I called him a murderer before he left that day. I called him with so many bad names.” She whispered. “What if he hates me, Kai? I will lost my only best friend.” 

 

Jongin softly smiled. “If he is the Oh Sehun that I know, he will never hates you Haru, no matter what you do. Like I said before, you know him better than I do.”

 

Haru stares at the brown envelope before reaches for it and takes out the letters inside. “I wish you are here with me Sehun. You know what should I do. Even though things turned to this, I still need you by my side.” 

 

Reaching out for the black pen on the table near her, she fills in the form. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ailee's note: I've tried to make this chapter heartbreaking enough and sad enough and if you doesn't feel what Haru is feeling then I'm sorry! And I'm sorry the soundcloud bar is so huge up there!!! On the other note, I actually want to finish this story in this month because you see, I will be going to backpacking in South Korea for three months and obviously I won't bringing my laptop so, stay with me until the end okay. Thank you! 

 

Commentssssssss are LOVE <3