JunKi's P.O.V.


"Okay..." I said looking at him, not knowing what to expect.

"You know... when JaeJoong realized he's gay... we had a small... fight." He started. He was nervous for some reason. I listened. Of course I remembered that day. He made me cry, I thought he despised gays, and me being one and in love with him... I knew he would hate me the moment he finds out. I couldn't let that happen, so pushing him away sounded like a good idea.

"Well, you acted like it meant a lot more to you then normally it would be. I mean, you acted like there was more to it, not just your brother being gay." He started to ramble.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"You acted like you understood him perfectly, like it meant more for you... like you're gay too." He blurted out.


Yunho's P.O.V.


I widened my eyes at my own words. But now I couldn't take them back. That was exactly what I wanted... no, what I needed to know. Was he gay? I knew he wouldn't be disgusted if he found out I was, since his brother was too, but was he? It has been bugging me for a while. It was something that I would always think about, ever since that day... but at first it didn't matter to me. When I started dating Min Sun and realized that all I've been thinking about was him, the thought of him being gay started haunting me. Literally.

I stepped closer to him. Looking at him and not being able to do anything hurt me. I knew I had to touch him, make some kind of contact.

"Are you hyung?" I asked more freely now. He wasn't saying a thing, so I had to ask. "Are you gay?"


JunKi's P.O.V.


Why does he have to torture me? He keeps on with it. Does he realize it? I don't know anymore. I'm so confused, I don't know if he knows about me being gay, being in love with him... I don't know anything. I don't even know how to answer his question. Is it safe to tell him the truth? I guess he won't hate me, he's still JaeJoong's best friend, after everything that happened. But will my answer confirm his possible doubts about me being in love with him?

I remained silent and he came even closer, our bodies practically touching as he leaned closer. I couldn't move. Stupid me being frozen in the spot whenever he comes closer.

"I asked you something hyung." He whispered into my ear again, then nibbled on it. God, no... what the hell is wrong with him?

"Stop... Yunho..." I said weakly.

"Not until you answer my question." He said putting his hands on my hips and pulling me closer as he started kissing my neck.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked swallowing hard and trying to stay calm. It was extremely hard though.

"Why not?" he asked back, his breath brushing against my skin, sending electricity down my body and causing me to shiver noticeably. He smirked and went back to kissing me.

"Because the last time I checked..." I gasped as he nibbled on my skin a bit. "... you were straight... with a girlfriend." I finished lamely. My breathing got heavier and I knew he knew I enjoyed this.

"So?" He asked pulling away from me and looking at me. I stared back at him. How could he even ask that? "That still doesn't answer my question." He said leaning closer and kissing my cheek, close to my lips. Too close.

"Yu-" I started but he caught my lips in that moment, slipping his tongue into my mouth instantly. I was shocked, I couldn't move, but he continued to explore my mouth like it was the most natural thing possible. Taking advantage of your hyung like that Yunho? As that thought appeared in my mind I quickly kissed him back. Afterall, that was all I wanted for such a long time now.


Yunho's P.O.V.


I moaned as soon as he kissed me back and pressed his body against mine, pulling him as close as I could. I needed to feel as much as possible. I've been dreaming about this so much that I couldn’t get enough now. Finally he wrapped his arms around me and gave in completely.

When we broke the kiss I held onto him and he just looked down, still not letting go, but not looking up at me either. That was one thing I didn't need.

"Look at me hyung." I said.

"No." he responded firmly. "What the hell did you need that for?" he asked. He was regretting it, I went too far... I destroyed us, our relationship. I felt my heart sink.

"I..." I started, but stopped as he looked back at me, with an angry look on his face.

"I'm gay. Alright?" he suddenly said, pushing me away. "Happy now?" I couldn't say a thing. "I don't know why you had to push it so much... I just... you're not gay, you're straight and you have a girlfriend. And a great one too. I don't know what you're doing here with me. Just go Yunho. I said it to you a lot of times, but you don't seem to understand. You just keep coming back." He said angrily. "I know you're JaeJoong's best friend and that's great... Just leave me alone." He said emphasizing word 'me'.

"What if I can't?" I asked.


JunKi's P.O.V.


What? What is he saying?

"Look... I don't know... you're my hyung. I want to be with you, talk to you the way we used to talk, spend time with you, touch you..." he trailed off.

"You don't just go randomly and kiss your hyung." I said. "I'm not one of your girls Yunho, I won't let you toy with me. What? Min Sun is not enough anymore, you're moving onto guys now?"

"It's not that..."

"What is it then? Stop doing this to me."

"I don't know if I can JunKi!" he yelled suddenly. "I can't control it, I just want you!"

I watched him. I was shocked. I wanted to hear that from him. But why did I have this awful feeling? Nothing was right in our relationship anymore. We used to be best friends, like brothers, I fell in love with him, he got himself a girlfriend... and now he's telling me he wants me? No, I can't let myself fall for him more and then get hurt.

"You can't have me." I said quietly. "You have Min Sun."

"I don't want..."

"Yes, you do. Just like you want every other girl. Always. At least she's a nice one. Don't lose her." I said, killing myself with my own words. "We don't exist Yunho, we can't exist. I'm your hyung, it won't change. But it would be better if we don't spend much time together." I finished.

"I get it. I'm sorry." He said shortly. "I'll see you." He added and went out.

I sat down on my bed and buried my head in my hands. I didn't know what happened and I didn't know what to do now. How to avoid him. How to forget him. I just knew that I got hurt. Again.


Yunho's P.O.V.


I ran out of Jae's house and as soon as I got to my house, to my room I started crying freely. I never thought I could be this hurt, but I felt my heart aching. For real. I ruined everything. Everything I had and could possibly have with JunKi. And for the first time I realized how much I really love him. I love him.


Changmin's P.O.V.


I silently ate my dinner. Junsu was giving me strange looks, I guess he used to me talking all the time. I would also look at Yoochun from time to time, expecting him to look back at me, but he found the content of his plate extremely amusing.

"I have to go do my homework." Junsu said standing up and walked out of the kitchen. Poor guy, the atmosphere must have been unbearable for him. I couldn't blame him.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked putting down my chopsticks and turning completely to him.

"No. I wasn't mad in the first place." He replied quietly.

"Then why are you avoiding me?" I asked.

"I don't."

"You're not looking at me."

"I didn't know I have to." He said glaring at me finally. I shut up.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"You don't have to be. I got it all." He said quickly. "Can we get over it already?"

"Okay." I nodded and stood up taking my plate. We weren't okay, but at least he talked to me. If you could call it a talk. I guess there was nothing I could do now. That's what I get for being a coward.


Yoochun's P.O.V.


I watched him exit the kitchen and sighed. It hurt me. He didn't want me, it wasn't a surprise for me. I just didn't think he'd lead me onto something and then push me away. That was just... mean. Lust? That was it? He never felt anything for me?


Junsu's P.O.V.


"You did what?" I asked widening my eyes.

"I know, I know... you don't have to yell at me." JunKi replied putting his head into his hands.

"Hyung... I don't know. I really think he feels something for you. And definitely something strong, since we both know that Yunho will never turn gay." I said. "It sounds unbelievable, I know. But he's been doing everything to get to you, he doesn't pay attention to Min Sun when you're around and he kissed you. And you say 'no' to that?"

"Stop reminding me." He cried. "Junsu, I just don't want to get hurt. You know him and his player-ish habits."

"Yeah, but it's different with you, you're his hyung. He wouldn't go after you if he really doesn't care. And well, at least we know that he cares. I mean, after so many years and... wait, playerish is not even a word." I said. He gave me a glare. "The point is do you really think he would turn gay just like that?"

"He got bored of the girls?" Junki asked hopefully.

"Quit the sh.it." I laughed. "I'm serious. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to realize he's into guys. Correction - into you. He loves you babo. He loved you before as well, just in a different way. You think he couldn't start feeling something more?"

"I'm his hyung. I was his hyung... it's just... weird now."

"So, what are you gonna do?"

"Stay away from him, of course."

"JunKi..." I shook my head. I couldn't say anything anymore, he wouldn't listen to me anyway.

"I know everything Junsu. It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I'll be okay." He said sadly. I knew it was everything but okay, but I needed to leave him alone. It was hard enough without me rubbing it in.

I gave him a hug finally and soon after that we said 'bye' to each other.

I was on my way to home. Just when I walked into an empty dark alley I heard footsteps behind me. I decided to ignore them and kept walking. But then I heard the person quicken their pace. I sighed.

"What do you..." I began to say as I turned around quickly.

"Hi Junsu."