I've known him all my life. I don't remember the time before I knew him. We weren't exactly the ones to get along well together, it was always constant bickering, constant teasing and annoying each other. Something about him always provoked me and I assume it was the same the other way around. He never showed that he cares, yet, whenever I needed him he was there... to annoy me, yes, but he was there. Unlike the rest of the world.

I never called him a friend. I never called him anything really. He was... something to me. He couldn't be nothing, it would always hurt to call him nothing, since it was a big fat lie. I never dared lie like that. He just existed. By my side.

I never thought I could love him, how could I, when he seemed to be made to make my life miserable. I'm overreacting, but let's face it, I'm a bit of a drama queen. Maybe that's why he always made fun of me, maybe that's why it was so easy to make fun of me. Or maybe it was just a reason for him to approach me, so he could annoy the hell out of me. Ever since I discovered that his presence makes me smile, deep down, I like to believe the latter is true.

I like to lie to myself. The world is happier when I do. I like to live in my little fantasies and it's funny how he's a part of all of them. Lately it became slightly hard to keep it inside me, but I'm coping. I'm still a crybaby, but I crawl to my own lonely corner, away from everyone to relieve myself. I'm ashamed, I'm scared. Not that I love him, but that he doesn't love me back. Sometimes, it's just easier to lie.

"What is wrong with you?" When did he start to care? My lips curve into a small smile. Not because I'm happy that he seems to care, but because I want him to stop asking.

I'm drowning in my thoughts, in my wishes. It's anything but good, one could live in their own world just that much... I'm falling... but I don't see him at the end.

In between my dreams and reality I often wonder where does he stand. I'm a coward.

"You're weird." He doesn't say it to offend me, for the first time. His facial expression is serious, with a hint of worry. I'm surprised. It lifts my hopes. "You're thinking about me, right?" A goofy smirk. I'm crashing again.

Hoping will lead me to nothing... hoping will lead me to nothing... I repeat those words, trying to keep myself from dreaming. Reality, even though painful, is a lot better after all. At least it doesn't give false hope. I'm lost when I dream. Lost cause.

"You want me." Teasing again. I do, you have no idea how much. I glare at him painfully, he smirks, but there is something that bothers me. That look... he must be extremely surprised.

He's good at hiding. Probably better then me. That's nothing new, he's better then me at a lot of things. Standing with two feet on the ground is one of them.

"Do you love me?" For the first time in my life I can't tell if he's serious or if he's making fun of me again. I look at him weirdly, raising my eyebrow, but my heart wants to jump out of my chest. I can't stand it. And I certainly don't want to reply. I'm a coward, remember? "Why are you so serious? Can't you tell when I'm teasing you anymore?" he laughs, maybe a bit too loud and I cringe. It sounds so... artificial.

It's my fault. Everything is weird. He doesn't know a thing, but we're different. Uncomfortable. I want to escape, but once again, I'm afraid. Besides, nothing I do can bring me good. So, I stare at him, like always. Except, this time my fear is his suspicion.

I don't want it to hurt, so stupidly, I hide and run. Ignore and avoid. It still hurts, maybe even more. And he's changed.

"Don't you care?" I look at him weirdly again. Care about what? "I thought we were..." he pauses. I resist the urge to run again and wait. "... friends." He looks away. I turn to walk away. We're not. Didn't you know?

He's not stupid, even though I'd like him to be. Maybe he figured it all out and now he's the one avoiding me. It's easier now, simply because I don't have to think of a way to get away from him. But it still hurts like hell.

"I love you." I laugh, swallowing my tears. He doesn't seem to believe I could laugh so easily at that. He smiles. I haven't seen that genuine smile in ages. I don't look at him as my laughter dies, I'm trying too hard to stop myself from breaking into tears.

I don't see him at all. Maybe he's just too busy to be by my side. I thought it would be better that way, I would feel better. I was so wrong.

"Where were you?" he's surprised I'm the one that approached him, that I didn't forget how to speak. I haven't spoken to him in ages. Way before we stopped seeing each other. "I-I missed you." There, I said it. It's weird, I've never said those words to anyone in my life. Never. And to think he got the privilege to own them. To own me...

I'm tired. No, I'm exhausted. I don't want to hide, to run, to dream. I just want to live.

"You care?" I smirk. It's too clear, everything it crystal clear now.

"You love me?" he looks down and smiles. I might get used to that.

It's been a while... I never thought happiness could last this long.

"Do you dream?" I look at him and lean in for a kiss. Doesn't he know by now?

"Always."