JunKi's P.O.V.


"Are you saying that Changmin thinks JaeJoong likes Yunho?" I asked widening my eyes and then started laughing.

"Hey, now, it's not funny. You have to do something about it." Junsu replied seriously.

"Me? What?" I asked raising my eyebrows this time and shook my head. "Okay, I guess I'll have to talk to Changmin and clear that out." I nodded.

"I suppose JaeJoong couldn't tell him anything, he was keeping your secret. But it just came out that way and now Changmin... you should've seen him JunKi. He didn't want to eat last night. And believe me, that's nothing like Changmin. It might not seem that way, but that boy eats more then Yoochun and I together."

"Well, then it really is serious. I could tell by looking at JaeJoong this morning." I said remembering the state I left Jae in. Junsu sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, so... please solve that." He said quietly.

"Junsu... are you okay with that? With the two of them together? I mean, I never expected it from you - to try to make them up." I said.

"It doesn’t matter if I'm okay, the two of them shouldn't fight over something like this. It was a misunderstanding. And I just want them to be happy. Changmin is truly a great guy, he's my friend. And Jae... well... you know I only wish him happiness. Even if it's with Changmin and not me." He replied quietly and looked away. I knew how hard it was for him to say that. I nodded as I understood and patted his shoulder giving him a small smile.

"There. You just proved your maturity. That's just not right, I'm the oldest, it really doesn't make sense." I joked and pouted a bit.

"You know you'd do the same thing. Actually, you are doing it." He replied laughing and I smiled. How did we end up like this? I keep asking myself that question.


Yoochun's P.O.V.


We were sitting in the park, leaning against the tree and enjoying our ice-cream. I smiled looking at Changmin as he talked about all kind of things. From his life in New York to the last movie he saw. I felt like I could look at him forever.

I was happy he was having troubles with JaeJoong, but deep inside I had a bad feeling about it. I sensed it won't last long and they will be back together in no time. I wanted to stop it, but I knew if I do something like that my relationship with Changmin will be ruined. And I didn't want to let that happen, not now that we actually started to improve it. So I was giving my best not to mention the jerk in front of him.


Changmin's P.O.V.


I really enjoyed myself. I didn't know how nice Yoochun could be, he even bought me an ice-cream. Maybe he felt guilty because of everything that happened. Maybe he wanted to apologize in some way, but was too proud to actually say it. I was beginning to think that he really was a good guy, even though rivalry was something he couldn't easily forget about. Actually, he reminded me of JaeJoong. Ever since that day when we made up we avoided talking about it, about Park brothers, me living with them and all. But I knew he couldn't forget about it and relax. And it bugged me, but I couldn't do anything about it. So I chose not to mention it again. The same thing was with Yoochun now. We were talking about everything except JaeJoong.

"So, is Seoul what you thought it'll be?" he asked suddenly and looked at me. I smiled.

"Actually it is a lot better then I imagined." I replied. "I was excited to come, I didn't know what to expect, but I was hoping it'll be great. But the moment I stepped out of the airplane I knew it'll be alright. I instantly liked it here and well, nothing disappointed me yet." I said still smiling. When I think about my new life in Korea I can only smile. Life was never this good in USA.

"I mean, transformation from dork to an uhljjang and from single miserable straight guy to a happily in love gay guy..." I said, then frowned. I wasn't happily in love anymore.

"Changmin, I think he doesn't like Yunho." Yoochun said. "I mean, they've been friends forever and no one ever noticed a hint of something more then that. Maybe he is jealous, but because he thinks he's gonna lose a friend, or worried that now they won’t have that much time to spend with each other. I don't know. But really, it sounds unbelievable. I mean, I really can't picture them together." He said.

I looked at him. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it did work. But he was also looking like he was in pain. Like those were the last words he wanted to say to me. I could understand that. He was against my relationship with JaeJoong in the first place and now he was feeling like he should comfort me and the only way to do that is to prove that I'm wrong. I knew he hated to even mention JaeJoong's name. And because of that, I liked him even more. I mean, I respected him, and I loved the fact that I was able to see more of true Yoochun now.


Yoochun's P.O.V.


I didn't like to talk about him. I was spending time with Changmin, this was the first time we were actually talking. Actually getting to know each other. And the last person I wanted to talk about was JaeJoong. But I guess it was inevitable. Changmin remained silent and I decided to change the subject again.

"You didn't know you were gay back in America?" I asked.

"No. I just realized here." He replied.

"But... how did you know? And why JaeJoong out of all people? I mean, Junsu and I are much more good looking." I joked, although it was quite true. JaeJoong was... like a girl.

He widened his eyes at me, not knowing what to say and blushed. I chuckled. He looked so cute and innocent at that moment, I just wanted to kiss him. Actually, all those feelings I got the first time I saw him were getting back at me. They were always there, every time I was around him. They were making me slightly uncomfortable, but just because I didn't want to show them. At first it was because I didn't know if he was gay, then because he started dating JaeJoong. Maybe also I didn't want to show JaeJoong that Changmin is actually my weakness. I was just trying to hide it desperately. Sometimes I thought people knew, I thought Junsu knew. Then I would back off and even try to avoid Changmin. I guess he rarely saw me during lunch. It was just too hard to watch him sit with JaeJoong. But the point was... no matter how uncomfortable those feelings were making me, they were also making me happy. Even if Changmin couldn't respond to them. Yet.


Changmin's P.O.V.


I was looking at him. What was that suppose to mean? Was it just one of his lame jokes or he actually wanted to be in JaeJoong's place. God, I'm thinking about this way too much. He chuckled, I let out a laugh myself. Actually, there was something about it, the feelings I got when I first saw Yoochun were something else, something more... then I have ever felt for JaeJoong. But that's not something he'll find out. I won't let that happen. Just like I won't let myself think about that anymore.

"Did you know Junsu and I are gay?" Yoochun suddenly asked. How come he was doing all the asking? Am I that dumb that I can't even think of anything to talk about? Oh yeah, he asked something. Wait, him and Junsu are gay?

"No." I said. I must've looked surprised since he chuckled again.

"Oh Changminnie, you're so cute and innocent." He said looking at me. I could feel myself blush and made a face, which only proved my embarrassment. "But, yeah, we are."

"Since when?" I asked. "And who knows? I mean, in school girls are all around you. Are you trying to keep it secret or what?"

"Well, since like last year. I started liking one of my classmates and it scared me at first. You know the drill. But then I accepted it and well, told him. It didn't go good. But he didn't say anything to anyone, he just transferred to the other school." He said and shrugged. "I didn't really care about him that much, he was just a crush. But he made me realize who I really am and well, I consider him an important person in my life." I nodded and smiled. "As for Junsu... he kind of went through the same thing JaeJoong did. We went out in a club and met some guys. I guess Junsu just drank a little bit too much. And started making out with one of them. We were teasing him and joked about it, but I guess it really meant more to him. He never looked at a girl again after that night. Although, to tell you the truth, he never was looking at girls before that. He wasn't even that confused or scared of what he did that night. It often made me think he was already gay and knew about it. I don't know, there is a lot of things about my dongsaeng that I don't understand." He sighed. "Oh and about the other people... it's not like we're hiding we're gay. We're actually pretty proud of it. But somehow no one ever realized it. I guess it's because there are always bunch of girls following us and well, I don't want to be rude and just yell at them, I don't really mind them, no girl was that crazy to like stalk me or be pain in the @ss yet, so I let them be. I don't know how, but it looks like people don't know about our real ual orientation. But even if they knew I wouldn't care and I know Junsu wouldn't either. We wouldn't mind if people knew. Well, actually, the only people we still can't tell about it are our parents." He finished.

"Are you afraid of their reaction?" I asked. My parents' reaction was something that was bugging me actually. I didn't know if I'll ever be able to tell them. But I knew that some day I will have to.

"I'm not exactly afraid, but I know they certainly won't be the happiest people alive when they find out. And I just want to avoid that reaction as long as I can. It's not the smartest thing to do, but... I just can't tell them." He replied sighing a bit again.

"Yeah, I can't imagine telling my parents either." I replied.

"Well, maybe we should do it together. Some day. I mean, they're best friends, maybe they can go through that together." He said and laughed.

"Oh god, imagine that. They'll kill all three of us. At least I know my parents will kill me and knowing yours... well, let's say they're pretty much alike. Trust me, they spend way too much time together." I replied chuckling.

"Yeah, that's never good." Yoochun replied shaking his head a bit and smiled. "When are you planning to go back to America? I mean, to visit them."

"This summer." I replied shortly. I didn't really have any special wish to go sooner. Even though I missed umma and appa.

"This summer? It's only November." He said widening his eyes at me.

"Yeah. So? It's not like I miss anything but my parents there." I said shrugging. I liked it here, if they could've come here instead I would be much happier. I might have spent 6 years of my life in America, but I didn't really miss it now that I was here.

"Okay... well, would you mind me going with you? I haven't seen my parents in a couple of months and well, I have never been to America either. Maybe you can show me around and all..." he said shyly. Wow, I didn't know Park Yoochun can be shy. I smiled.

"Yeah, sure. Plus, that way I'll have a company too." I replied and smiled even more broadly. I can't believe how much I enjoyed this. I even forgot about JaeJoong for a moment. I wonder what's he doing now.


JunKi's P.O.V.


I came back home and looked around for Jae.

"Jae?" I called, but it looked like he went out somewhere. Oh well, I had some stuff to do anyway. Actually some Jae's unfinished business I had to take care of. I already called Changmin and we were supposed to meet in two hours so, I quickly made a dinner and went out of the house again.

Changmin was waiting for me in the small café, not so far away from both of our houses. I smiled seeing him. This kid was great, everyone were saying that and well, I didn't know how to feel about him. I mean, I liked spending time with him, he was smart and honest, it was truly a satisfaction talking to him. I just didn't know what to do. He was my brother's boyfriend and some sort of my best friend's rival. And I... well, all I could do was sit down and watch what's gonna happen in that sick love triangle. Someone will get hurt for sure and I didn't want to watch that. But I had no choice.

"Hey." I said smiling and sat down across from him.

"Hey JunKi." He replied.

"Well, umm... I called you to explain what happened." I said not really knowing how to tell him. "You know, that day, Jae was only thinking about me. It's not him who is in love with Yunho, it's me." I said looking away. I didn't like to say that, it hurt every time. And now one more person knew about it. It was getting more and more risky, I was afraid that the truth will come out soon. I knew Changmin won't say a thing, but still. I felt uncomfortable with more people knowing it.

"JunKi..." he started. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, don't worry about it." I said giving him a smile. "I just wanted to clear that, Jae couldn't. He couldn't tell you my secret, he knew I didn't want anyone to know. I actually didn't know he knew either, but I guess I couldn't really hide it well. Or he knows me too well. I don't know. The point is, it was just a misunderstanding, you guys shouldn't fight over things like that." I said.

"Thanks... I guess I was an idiot doubting like that. I knew Jae couldn't really do something like that to me. If he didn't like me, he'd tell me right?" Changmin said thinking about it. "Even Yoochun said so."

"Yoochun?" I asked surprised. Park Yoochun defended JaeJoong? I would have never expected that. I smiled.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I talked to Yoochun a lot these days. You don't mind that? I mean, you think the whole rivalry is stupid too."

"Of course." I nodded. Well, my best friend in Junsu. I wonder how he would react if I told him. I already said one secret of mine, I think it's enough for now. "You should keep your friends no matter what Jae sais or thinks. Besides, Park brothers are not bad people." I added.

Changmin smiled, but it didn't last long.

"I wish Jae would think the same."


Junsu's P.O.V.


"Junsu, where is Changmin?" Yoochun asked stepping into the kitchen.

"I sent him to buy something for me." I said. Well, it was true. Kind of. He also went to meet JunKi, but Yoochun didn't need to know that. "Sit down, I'm making coffee."

Yoochun smiled and took a seat and I joined him pretty soon.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Okay." He replied. "Why?"

"Oh nothing, just... we haven't talked in a while, I'm worried about you. As always."

"You always worry about stupid things. Nothing's wrong, just relax and enjoy life." He said smiling broadly.

Yeah... sometimes I admire you hyung. If only I could do that, not thinking about anything, just yell it all, let it out of myself, not worrying about consequences. And then relax and enjoy it. Forbidden desire.