JunKi's P.O.V.


He has a girlfriend? Oh god... He has never had a girlfriend before. And now... now that I'm in love with him now he has found one. What is this? I can't believe this. I... what should I feel now? I can't think straight. Oh my god. Don't cry JunKi, don't you dare... It's so hard though. It hurts. It hurts so much.

"Hyung?" No. Don't call me hyung. Especially not like that. It hurts even more now. You're so caring, so gentle. You do care about me, just not in that way. I know that. I know I should've never expected anything else from you. It has always been impossible. I just kept lying to myself, thinking that maybe, some day, you'd look at me in some other way then just an older brother.

"You have a girlfriend?" I asked finally, trying to sound cheerful. That were great news. They should've been. I mean, I should be happy for him. He's growing up. He became more mature, he finally found someone he cared about. All the girls he's been with were just some twisted toys. Well, they didn't deserve to be treated otherwise anyway. I hate to say it, but they were just shallow fangirls. But this one must be special if he really wants something more then a one night stand. Nonetheless it hurts like hell.

He nodded. "Yeah, funny, isn't it? I, Jung Yunho, the biggest player around, have a girlfriend." He said laughing a bit.

"Yeah, all the fangirls will be disappointed." I said chuckling. Yeah, it came out bitter, but I can't bother to cover it up. Hopefully he won't notice.

"You know they don't matter." He said shrugging. "Are you okay? You don't look great. I mean, is there something bothering you?"

"No, don't mind me. I don't feel good today." I said waving my hand a bit and trying to keep that smiley mask on my face. I thought looking at Junsu carefully, studying his face, will help me learning how to look like that, when everything around me was falling apart. I guess I still had a lot to learn. It might hurt - knowing the truth, but pretending like everything is okay is tearing me apart. So much pain.

"So, what is she like?" I asked. Damn, I'm really pushing it. Am I trying to kill myself? But hey, I have to ask. If not just because of me, then because of him. It's normal to be curious and it'll probably look suspicious if I don't ask. So, yeah, I couldn't allow that. I couldn't allow Yunho to think that something's wrong.

"She's beautiful, a great dancer, a nice person. I really like her." He said smiling. I could see his eyes shining at the mention of her and instantly my heart ached. I swallowed. Calm down JunKi.

"What's her name?"

"Kang Min Sun." he said smiling even more broadly now. I looked at him a bit weirdly at the mention of the name. Could it be?

"Nice name." I said. This is getting harder with every minute passing.

"Yeah, it suites her." He replied. Great. I'm in love with a guy who found a perfect girl for himself and is now telling me how great she is. Can I get more pathetic?

I remained quiet for a moment. I wasn't looking at him, but I knew he was studying my every move, waiting for some kind of a reaction from me. I knew I had to at least pretend I'm happy for him.

"Are you happy Yunho?" I asked finally. Afterall, that should be the most important thing. I looked at him.

"Yeah, I am." He replied. Somehow he didn't seem too sure, but I didn't think anything of it. He just met a girl. First girlfriend is a big thing. He should enjoy it. Maybe he's not completely sure about it now and I shouldn't have asked that question so early, but in a way I thought it'll calm me down. Maybe I should just deal with it, accept it and try to move on. I tried so many times, but maybe this will actually help me do that. He's straight and he has a girlfriend. How much longer can I make fool of myself? Wake up JunKi, forget about it all.

"Well, that's the only thing that matters." I said smiling at him. It still hurt, but that's the only thing I could do.


Yunho's P.O.V.


I felt weird the whole time I was at Jae's place, talking to JunKi hyung. I felt like I'm hurting him. I didn't feel great myself. It was uncomfortable and painful. I was trying to brush off that feeling, but it stayed and there was nothing I could do. He kept smiling at me and acting like he's happy for me, but I kept feeling like he put on some mask that didn't allow me to look deeper into him. What was that that he was really feeling? He didn't even tell me his opinion about it all. He would always do that, give me advice or something. This time he only asked if I was happy. I felt like crying, he cared so much and well, I didn't know how to respond to that. It was too early. Yeah, I'm happy, satisfied, Min Sun is great... but I'm not sure if I’m like genuinely happy. I don't know what is happiness. I really like her and spending time with her is great. But why do I always think of JunKi hyung? Whatever I do, wherever I go, at any time of the day I'm thinking about hyung. Those thoughts are like... haunting me. I'm fighting it. But I have the feeling that as long as I have him on my mind I can't be truly happy.


Yoochun's P.O.V.


"Where is Changmin?" I heard Junsu asking. He walked into the kitchen and looked at me. "God, don't tell me you're cooking."

"Of course not, this is just a little snack I made. For myself." I said. Actually I made it for Changmin, but Junsu doesn't have to know everything. "Changmin is in his room. He said he's skipping dinner." I said as if I didn't care.

"Changmin is skipping dinner?" Junsu asked raising his eyebrows. Yeah, it was unbelievable. "What happened?"

"What could've happened? That Kim jerk did something of course. I'll kick his the next time I see him." I replied not being able to control my anger anymore.

"Calm down. Maybe it wasn't JaeJoong's fault."

"Will you stop defending him? God, sometimes I wonder if you're a Park at all."

"Stop. JaeJoong is not that bad. Maybe they had some misunderstanding or something."

"I swear, I don't know what's wrong with you. Ever since that fight four years ago you started defending him more then usual. And he doesn't deserve it one bit. He has never looked at you like a best friend. You always wanted it to happen, didn't you? But there was always Yunho, standing on your way. And then after they started acting like idiots I thought you'll come to your senses. But no, you remained poor little Junsu, in love with JaeJoong. Get a grip, will you?" I said finally and turned around to finish my... I mean, Changmin's sandwich.

End of Yoochun's P.O.V.


Flashback (4 years ago)


"Yoochun, stop! Stop!" Junsu yelled on the verge of crying as he stood in front of JaeJoong. Jae was half-laying on the ground, trying to recover from the punch Yoochun just gave him.

"Junsu, move." Yoochun said through the gritted teeth.

"No. Stop this thing, now." Junsu said looking back at him.

"What the hell is your problem? You keep defending that idiot. Let me take care of this. He doesn't give a sheet about you, he doesn't care. He can't stand you, just like he can't stand me. Can't you see that? Now move." Yoochun said.

"No. We're going home." Junsu said grabbing Yoochun's arm and dragging him away from JaeJoong. He glanced back one last time and then turned into their street.


End of Flashback


Junsu's P.O.V.


He doesn't get it. Thank god for that. I hope he never realizes how much JaeJoong means to me. It's not just that I want him to be my friend. It's so much more. Every word that came out of Yoochun's mouth was hurting me, but I didn't care. I might be an idiot for loving Jae, but I don't care. I don't give a damn about what everyone thinks, I just want Jae to be okay, to be happy. Even if it's with Changmin.


Yoochun's P.O.V.


"I'm going to my room." I lied, taking the plate with Changmin's sandwich and looking at Junsu. He just nodded. Maybe I hurt him with my words, but he deserved it. It pisses me off when he starts talking about JaeJoong. What has he ever done for Junsu to like him, to want to be his friend? He has always been an idiot. Especially to us. Junsu really has to think well about his actions and feelings. He has to realize I'm right.

I went upstairs and knocked on Changmin's door. He didn't answer, so I slowly opened the door and stepped in. I smiled at the familiar tall figure laying on his bed and walked up to him.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"Do I look like I'm okay?" he replied. I knew he wasn't. He even looked like he's been crying. God, don't tell me because of that jerk.

"I brought you something to eat." I said smiling and put the plate on the table next to his bed.

"You didn't have to. I'm not hungry... but thanks."

"You have to eat. You're so skinny anyway. Besides, hearing you skipping dinner is just wrong." I attempted to joke, but it didn't go well. He remained silent. I stood beside his bed for a moment, then finally sat down next to him.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Maybe it'll make you feel better." I added. "Look, I know Junsu is probably better when it comes to talking and yeah, I admit my short temper is not... my best quality." I said looking away. "But you can always talk to me. I mean, I'm here for you, just like Junsu is." I finished. He finally looked at me. I smiled.

"Jung Yunho has a girlfriend." He said sighing. I looked at him confused. What does Yunho have to do with this? I thought this was about JaeJoong.

"Okay... is that a bad thing?" I asked unsure.

"Well, according to JaeJoong it is." He said bitterly. I raised my eyebrows. JaeJoong doesn't want Yunho to have a girlfriend? That doesn't make any sense. Wasn't he the one who has always been against Yunho's careless relationship with girls? Yeah, they might be my enemies, but I always knew what was going on in their lives. How could I not with all the rumors going on around school.

I remained silent waiting for Changmin to tell me more.

"We had a fight. Again." He said sighing. "I don't know, I never had that feeling before, but now I think JaeJoong likes Yunho. I mean, there is no other explanation for him to feel and act that way. You should've seen him today, he looked so devastated, he barely talked to me. And when I asked him what's going on he kept repeating he can't tell me. We're supposed to be a couple and he can't tell me something that important." He said tearing up again. I didn't know what to do, so I put my arm around his shoulder. "I really like him Yoochun. I just... I don't know. Until today I thought he likes me, everything he did and said was screaming it, but now I'm not sure. Maybe he did all that because he felt guilty. Maybe he realized he likes Yunho and he didn't want to hurt me. I don't know. Now that I think about it all those things are becoming clear in some twisted way and I..." he started crying. "... I don't know what to do."

I didn't know what to do either. I pulled him closer into my arms and ran my hand through his hair, trying to comfort him and calm him down. "It's okay, Changmin, really. Maybe... maybe you misunderstood it. Maybe he does care about you. I mean, he wouldn't act like that for nothing. He could always break up with you. Besides, you've been together for what? Two weeks maybe? Maybe not even that long." I said. I couldn't believe what I was saying. I'm supposed to hate JaeJoong. For everything he did, both to me and Junsu and now for Changmin. But here I was defending him. I still hate him, I know I am. But I had to comfort Changmin and I knew this was probably the only way. I didn't know what to do and this was the first thing that came to my mind. I said all the things I didn't want to be true, but I knew they probably were. I was actually pushing Changmin back to JaeJoong's arms. How stupid and damn, how noble of me. How painful.

Changmin nodded and looked at me after some time. Having him in my arms felt so right, I knew it'll end soon, but then again, if we stayed like that for an eternity it would still not be enough.

"Thanks Yoochun." He said smiling. I melted right then and there. I smiled back happily. As long as I see him smile, everything will be alright. I brushed my fingers against his cheek, cupping it and looked into his eyes.

"Junsu is waiting for us." I said. He needed to eat. I could tell he was hungry, he just didn't want to admit it. I knew his eating habits anyway.

He nodded and smiled again, then got up and took my hand. I smiled again, feeling shiver running down my spine as we exited his room and went downstairs.


Changmin's P.O.V.


I didn't expect something like this from Yoochun. He seemed to be such a riddle for me ever since I came to Seoul. He could be nice, shy, so indoor sometimes. And he could explode in a second, boiling with anger, become mean and not caring about anyone. But maybe that wasn't Yoochun at all. Maybe he was something in between. Or something behind it all. Yeah, definitely. I think that was just a mask, a good cover. No one could read his true self like that, no one could get to him and no one could hurt him. Maybe I'm starting to understand Yoochun a bit better. But then again... maybe I'm wrong.

We went downstairs and I was feeling a lot better already. I smiled at Junsu.

"You're up!" he said cheerfully and looked at me and then at Yoochun. He smiled and put food on the table. "Right on time. I already planned to eat everything by myself."

"You pig!" Yoochun said and laughed as Junsu glared at him and pouted.

"Well, you said you're skipping dinner, what did you expect? That I would waste all this food? No way."

"Well, I'm not skipping dinner now. And don't worry, this food will be everything but wasted." I replied sitting down and laughed.

"Oh, we know." They both nodded and it was my turn to glare at them. I smiled. It was good... to be home.


Junsu's P.O.V.


I looked at Changmin and smiled. He was smiling back and Yoochun was beside him, grinning happily. I raised my eyebrows slightly and got it at once. He was opening up to Changmin. Finally. Maybe he'll quit being such a jerk. Let's hope. I did think once that Changmin will change him. For better. Maybe it already started.