I am sure we all have our little secrets. I know I do. It's just that I have never voiced it out since it was both subconsciously and consciously instilled in my mind that I don't have the right to do so. I think it was around sophomore year of high school. Jia, I and some of our friends were practicing in the gym for a dance that is to be presented in the upcoming school festival. We were really trying our best to come up with original choreography. Other students would watch and I felt at ease when they would acknowledge my skills in dancing. So, I admit that I am not the most feminine nor attractive girl. I would usually blend in with the crowd. It's not that I mind it. I was relatively quiet back in high school. Call me a wallflower if you wish. But I do remember this instance with the supposed mean girls of our year. They would usually make me a laughing joke that I looked like a guy but they drew the line once they started false rumors that I was in truth a guy.
I am perfectly aware of how they see me but questioning me and my uality was an entirely different topic. I wanted to punch one of them back then. But I guess it wasn't really worth it. I ended up crying on the bus way home. It was an ugly sight. Anyway, as I was saying, I've always had this wish that when I fall in love, I'd want to wake up on his bedside and see his face while the rain was pouring. I know it sounds cheezy but don't we have all that little cheezy side within us?

And that morning was just the perfect day for that wish to come true. I was smiling from ear to ear as I planted my face on the pillow, on his pillow. It had his scent so I breathed all of it in at the same time. I am no newbie when it came to and all that but doing it with such an emotional connection is in fact different. I can't really describe it but it was just amazing. I want to go somewhere high and just scream how happy I feel. I do wish to tell Sulli but I bet she will ask questions about details I am not willing to dish out so why bother in the first place? Not being selfish there but it is kind of awkward to talk to someone after having with his or her sibling just the previous night.

To be honest, I want to just skip school for the day. I want to spend an entire day with just the two of us. "Wake up, sleepy head. You still have school." Great, was he pushing me away? But no, I can't really put too much thought on what he just said. I was really happy. I soon felt my bedside lose weight on it and with the corner of my eye I saw Key put on his clothes. I pretended to go back to sleep when we walked towards me and bent over to give me a kiss on the cheeks. That was when I said, "Today is going to be marvelous."

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The feeling of her skin on mine and the view of her beautiful bare skin when I woke up this morning was amazing. It honestly was. Amber doesn't have the typical feminine charm which I guess stood out to me and struck me real hard. The feeling of being inside her was ecstatic. The tight grip she had on me last night was painfully good it was difficult to hold back. I remember the picture of face all red and sweaty with our exchange of passion. It made me feel proud. It's not that I have no idea about it. I've had my fair share of girls when I was younger. I also went through that rebellious stage especially when I had the rift with my father. I wanted to share it with Sulli back then but she was too young to even understand what was going on so I didn't bother tell her.

On the other hand, I am glad I followed Minho's advice of being with myself. I know I am not very vocal about it but I do care for Minho like a brother. He understood me as a man is to understand another man. That is why at the same time I kind of understand why Sulli would run to him if ever. Remember the time when Amber brought us to the party to meet Minho and Krystal and the night when Sulli ran away? She suddenly confessed to all of us that she was seeing Minho. To be honest, I wasn't too surprised. I remember one time when Sulli left her phone on the dining table and she was taking a bath, I saw the name Minho flash up on the screen. Considering the fact that Sulli didn't really make a lot of friends, there was no other Minho she would know.
I don't know how they got back in contact and as much as I trust Minho, I do wish to keep him and his family in the distant past but I suppose the universe isn't really up for what I have in mind.

--

I prepared breakfast. Amber was already running late but I want to be selfish for that day and just have her stay with me inside the house and enjoy what we can do. I want to enjoy converstaions with her, and love her companionship. I honestly do. I soon went up to my room and saw Amber still in her glory. I placed the food on my desk. It was toast and eggs, nothing grand. I then laid beside her. She turned and hugged me. "You're running late, Amber.."

"Come on Key? Can't you let me stay with you just for the day? We have this six-absences rule for all our subjects. We can maximize those absences without having the commercial establishments or corporations complain about it. Please, just let me stay with you today?" She pouted and I found it really adorable. I pinched both of her cheeks, "Arasso.. now go eat your breakast before it gets cold.." She happily jumped out of bed without even minding the fact she was still . 
She wouldn't have noticed unless I pointed it out."

Anyway, she grabbed the nearest piece of clothing she could put her hands on and dressed herself. She got my t-shirt which is too big in size for her but it'll do. I let out a small laugh as she pouted at me like a little kid. "Just get the food and eat.."

A small smile escaped from her lips as she turned to gobble up on the food. I am glad she was enjoying what I prepared but I am more glad because I have her for the entire day and nobody can change that. Not even her teachers nor Minho.

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It was a short  but wet walk to the convenience store. We were already planning for what we will have for lunch. The downpour is making the thinking too easy as well. I got a few things we need at home like soap, shampoo and a few goodies while Amber got Ramyun. It was for lunch. We were too lazy to think of anything else to cook. The food suited the weather so we thought, why not? "Which flavor do you want? Shrimp or the regular one?"

"Get the shrimp one. I tasted it before and it tastes really good. Also, get some dried seaweed, we can add that to the ramyun."

We met at the counter and I saw three bottles of beer in her hand. I scolded her and said that just because she is not going to school, we were going to spend the day by drinking every moment away. I flicked her forehead and told her to return the bottles. We headed back home once everything was settled. 

"Hey, want me to cook the ramyun?" She asked.

"You sure about that Amber? Cooking isn't really your specialty. You might end up getting hurt if you..."

"Oh come on! How hard is it to boil some packed noodles and put in the seasoning in? Aish.. I am not that incapable of cooking such a thing. Go on, I'll handle this while you go give yourself a bath. Unless you want me to give you a bath.."

"Yaaa!! Fine fine. Cook it properly. You have to make sure there isn't too much.."

"Water, I know. Go before I change my mind."

I headed upstairs and smiled as I prepared my clothes before going into the bath. She actually has the guts to tease me about giving me a bath when yesterday she was acting all embarrassed before we went on doing the deed. I guess it's true what they say. That once you do it with someone you have an emotional connection, you no longer have inhibitions toward that person. I mean, if you think about it you