All I wanted was some answers. I didn't ask for a slap in the face. I guess I really have no luck with people, making friends and connections. I'd always end up either leaving them or being the one left behind. Perhaps it is some curse that I have. I mean, what person would be so unlucky in having no clear memory of what her childhood would be like, grow up with no father, be left behind by her only family and be unwanted by someone she considers dear to her heart? I know others would say they have it worse but going through what I've been through is no joke either.

I left Key and Sulli's place last night. The only place I can go to is Krystal's place. She is going through a lot as of the moment and I know hitching in her place could just add up to the burden but I was more than thankful that she welcomed me so warmly when I appeared in her front door without any notice. It started raining when I went over to Krystal and I wasn't able to bring anything with me. Drenched and pained, I made my way through the streets without considering the fact I could get sick. And I know it is supposed to be a school day today but I decided not to go. I can't. I don't feel like it.

"I know that I know most of your business but for some weird reason, I feel as if that you don't want to really talk about what happened to you last night.. But damn Amber, I was really surprised when you came in last night drenched like that. Good thing most of my clothes fit you as well or else I wouldn't be able to give you a change of clothes. Do you have a liking in drenching yourself in the rain like that?"

"Not really.. In fact I don't like the rain, right? And the sound of lightning and thunder.. It drives me nuts. I was just not thinking so clearly last night that was why I didn't get bothered by the lightning.. But I'm telling you, I'd cower into a corner if I was alone or whatnot."

"Now that you mention it, why in the world are you afraid of the lightning and thunder anyway? Aren't you old enough to grow out of that fear Ambs? Last time I cowered into my room because of that was like, when I was 6 or 7.."

"Aish.. This girl." There were footsteps. I was across a bed and the door was locked. The rain poured heavily outside and the lightning was scaring me. But I cannot scream. I cannot do it. Then in an instant, within a short period of time, they made the rain cry red.

"Amber? Hey, Amber?? Hello, Earth to Amber? Are you okay??"

"Yy---yeah.. I'm good. Uhmm, how is uncle?"

"Not much progress but somehow I feel a lot secure when I know he's here and not at the hospital. Also, I can look after him a lot closely and quickly since all the things we need are here. Though, I'm still baffled by the reason why they turned out like this.. I mean, the doctors have identified why they turned out like this but I am still at a loss why someone would even do it.."

"Why? What happened?"

"They were poisoned. It was Arsenic poisoning.."

"Arsenic? Isn't that like, rat poison? Oh my.." Krystal only nodded. How did it even get introduced to Krystal's parents' systems? I mean, it had to be directly placed into something they ate or drank. I can only cringe in fear thinking about it. Soon enough, I excused myself and said I'll be going somewhere. I needed to talk to someone at least even for a bit, if it can help...

--------

It was a stupid thing on my part. It was a stupid, stupid mistake. I wanted to punch myself for what I did. Indeed, words are powerful weapons. You can either give praise with it or inflict pain. I did the second. I know words alone can't atone for what I did to her. I was more than stupid to not see that all she was doing was helping me. I needed help but I didn't want it. I gave no signs that I was drinking for almost the entire day. Heck, I even made a mess of my own room. Anyone who would be close to me would be bothered by what was happening. But I was stupid for pushing away a person dear to me. 

I needed to think without staying at home. I might end up just drinking again. My body is already rejecting the alcohol. After getting angry at Amber last night, I ended up falling asleep and then waking up for like every other hour just to puke in the bathroom. It was bad. And without much surprise, Amber wasn't home when I woke up earlier this morning. A cafe that was a bus away was the nearest thing I have as a refuge. It was then however that someone disturbed me as that person placed their cup on the table I was staying at.

"I am not here to talk, Key.."

"Minho?" I whispered. Without even any warning, he just sat opposite me. It's not like I can push him away. It would make a bigger of a mess if I did.

"Did you actually follow me here?"

"No. Though I was around the area and saw you outside so I decided to join you."

"Can't you see that I wish to be alone?" I motioned to stand up. "I have something to say.. It's about Jinri." I stopped and went back to my seat and imposed towards him to talk. "Talk.. What about Jinri?"

"I don't know what is going on with you guys but the only thing she told me was to pass a message to you.."

"You know where she is?" I gritted my teeth. Why does Minho know where my sister is? Was she in contact with him? Why won't she talk to me? "She's not mad at you Key. She respects you so much but she does ask time alone. I don't know where she is but she does contact me through messaging. She says she just needs to be alone for now."

I crumbled down, resting my elbows on my thighs as I rested my head on them. It was both a sigh of relief and worry. I am glad to know that she was okay but it worries me as to where she is and how she is managing herself. I wish to see her and talk to her again. She was family.

"If there is any way I can help.."

I cut him short. "I appreciate the offer Minho but I need to deal with this as her brother. You.. your family, were good to us. But I need to handle this."
"How about ---"
"I have no plans to be in contact with him after he abandoned Jinri and I.. No, I can't let him into my life again. After everything he did."
I stood, thanked Minho and then left. I now need to take action to look for my sister and amend a bridge I purp