I had it worse in comparison to a woman who was going through menopause and hot flashes. My face was burning. My cheeks were burning. I am sure they were. It made my heart aflutter and butterflies flew inside my guts. It wasn't really the first time we kissed. I know he did when we were at the park at that time under the rain. I was surprised then but the other night was entirely different. I am not entirely sure if it was because of the alcohol but I literally lost all inhibitions. It never crossed my mind whether I was messed up or if my breath reeked of alcohol. I was so into the moment that I actually enjoyed the fact it escalated to such a level. Look,  I don't want to sound all y but I'd be denying if I didn't want to do anything. It's not like I'm entirely clueless about but then again I don't really feel disappointed that it didn't happen. I was kind of glad it didn't. 

Personally, I just want for us to enjoy the moment; what we have for now. If he has decided not to rush things, I'll give him the freedom to do so. After all, I don't want to be the only basis of our relationship. I've had my fair share of that kind of relationship, after all. 
On a side note, I haven't told Key that I've met Sulli once again. Let alone, that Minho is with Sulli. I know he will be furious once he finds out I am hiding such a thing from him but on another note, I am no longer bothered as I used to be the other day. It was a battle with my conscience but it looks like the conscience that sides with Sulli won. 
Krystal left early on. Last time we met, she told me she still had about two weeks before heading to the States to go with her father for his treatment but it seemed like plans changed and they already left today. It kind of saddens me that we weren't able to talk on the phone for me to even wish for her safety. It's the only thing I can offer her.

"What is my dongsaeng thinking about that she is in such deep thought?"

"It's nothing Donghae oppa. I was just thinking of what gift a guy would like to receive. It's Christmas in three weeks and snow is bound to fall hard but I still haven't figured out what a guy would want."

"Omo.. Are you going to give me a gift? I'm not asking for anything but I'd be more than happy to receive a gift from you."

"Ya! It's not yours. I've already figured out what to give you. I am thinking of a gift for Key.."

"Key?"

"Yes. That's his name. Don't ask me why it's like that because I don't know either. Now, oppa.. Come on, tell me.. what would a guy want  for Christmas?"

"It's hard to say Amber. I don't know the guy personally but how about giving him a wristwatch? Or maybe something more generic, like a scarf or mug of some sort.. Guys aren't that complicated, okay? When we receive gifts, we're happy we did especially if it's from a girl. Got it?"

"Yeah.. Got it. Thanks anyway."

"By the way, you are looking pale. You feeling all right?"

"I kind of have a fever and I didn't really sleep well last night..Overfatigue maybe? Or I don't know. But whatever, I'll be fine don't worry.. It's Amber Liu! I am resistant to anything.."

"Hell, as if you are. Anyway, I've got to go. We've got a meeting for the upcoming examinations. You should start studying. I wouldn't go easy on you just because we are close, arasso?!"

I only nodded as Donghae oppa walked away. It was always a pleasure to talk to him. He has a lot to say about different things and I learn new things whenever we get the chance to talk and be able to conduct long and productive conversations. To be honest, I've heard the news that some students are already starting to spread rumors about the two of us but I am glad I have Mr. Song behind my back. He has called the attention of people starting false rumors around the school, saying it can be used as a basis for libel. I mean, he didn't mention any names but the students who started the rumors understood who Mr. Song was talking about. What makes it even funnier is that three of them were my classmates; male classmates. 

However, I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't able to sleep. No, it's not because I was still hung over from my passionate kiss so to say. I was literally burning up last night. I only took a paracetamol this morning. I don't know how long it'll work but it is so far. Also, I kept waking up in the middle of the night because of bad dreams. A picture of a river and then flashes of a bedroom floor would always go in intervals. It creeped me out everytime that is why I kept waking up. The fever and lack of sleep working hand in hand isn't doing me any favors.

Our midterms are coming in two weeks. It is a week before we officially start our Christmas break. In all honesty, I've already thought of a gift for Key. At first I thought it was good to give him a wristwatch or something related to a piano but then I thought it would be too generic. I actually saw this poster that there will be a piano concert at Jeju on the Christmas. I already decided to buy tickets by the end of the week. I bet he will be thrilled. Musicians from Japan, Korea and the Americas will be there to play. I can't wait to tell him and see the surprised look on his face.

I have duty at the company later on today. Hara said we were required to go. I can spare some time I guess? I haven't worked at the bar for some time. Key has been tending to it alone. It'll be nice to help him once in a while. 

------------------------

I was  hesistant when she asked me to let her accompany me to the company. It's not like I was hiding her from the world but I was a little scared of what might happen if Key finds out that she is with me. It came from his mouth that we are friends but the trust that was established between us through the years may diminish if he finds out the truth at the wrong time. Let alone, I bet he will beat me to the pulp when he learns of the fact that Jinri and I already did it. Key can be overprotective.
Then again, I trust Jinri that no such thing will happen. She may be dependent on Key but she is no longer a child either. She's a very decisive woman.

"I do hope you know what you are doing Jinri.. Key might come over anytime and see you here. I mean, he does look after Amber even more ever since you left."

"I know that oppa. Heck, the two are practically together. I don't want to imagine the funny things they may have done at home while I'm gone. Ahaha.. No, I'm just kidding. Key oppa has good sense of control unlike you."

My eyes widened with her teasing. "What??! You were so into it as well.. It's not like you didn't like it too. You were practically screaming and----"

"Yah, oppa! Stop it."

"Arra. Anyway, since when did Key and Amber get together? I wasn't informed of that.."

"Last time I talked to Amber eonni, she wasn't able to pinpoint the exact time she liked Key but she just said things went in place and they eventually found out that what they are feeling is mutual. I am happy for them. I really am."

Jinri looked at me. "Why? What's wrong?"

I only shook my head. I was giving Key the benefit of the doubt. No, I trust him on the decision he chose to make. He is a grown man and knowing him, he doesn't make decisions he will regret after. Besides, it's been years. I feel that it was enough time for him to finally let it go.

We then heard a knock on the door. It was Amber. I smile then crept unto Jinri's face. "Eonni!" Amber entered with a smile as well while she gave Jinri a hug. "Hara said we were needed at the company but then she told me to head to your office. Anything I need to know?"

"Well, since you're here I guess it would be best to tell you that one of your designs was chosen by a fashion house based in Paris to be produced for an entire season."

"Eh? Hhh--how did?"

"One of the directors of the fashion house came over here several weeks back for a meeting. We were supposed to talk about how they wish to learn of Korean fashion and try to incorporate them into some their designs. He accidentally saw your sketches. He scanned through them and asked for a copy of the one he liked best. He phoned me in yesterday and said that the board has agreed to produce the one he liked. He said that your name will be placed in the tag just under the name of the fashion house."

Jinri smiled. Amber just looked at us with a smile on her face and was on the verge of tears. "Ohh my gosh. I don't know what to say. I-- I am.. Thank you. Thank you so much. You don't know how much that means to me." She let out this l