The lights had been flickering ever since I turned it on. Irritating. Let alone, the peeling paint on the ceiling was adding more to the eyesore. The bed was harder than the usual. Call me a nagger, but today was downright annoying. Nothing can really describe this hellhole I'm in. It is. It really is. No, something worse than a hellhole.. Yes, I'm in a friggin' hole. A hole I can't get out of. Well, not really can't but more of I don't want to get out of. It's the only thing I know. It would be the first and last thing I would know to do.

I heard the click of a lighter. He was at it again. I never liked smoking. I found it pointless. I have nothing against them but I don't think it'll be something I'd want to do. I've had a few puffs here and there, nothing special.

"Ohh. I'm sorry. I should've gone out.."

"Nah. It's not like this is the first time you forgot to do that. I got used to it."

He sat beside to where I was lying. I hate it when he does that. 

"You busy tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I've got quite a lot of things to do. Not really, but I should just finish them as soon as possible. I don't want to be part of the crammers by the end of the year. I'm not a very good crammer."

"What a waste. I wanted us to have fun again."

" you!" I shouted and stood up.

"Woah, easy. I was just joking. But I mean, come on. Can't you take it too seriously?"

I wanted to punch him.

"Whatever. Give me my money. I have to go."

He handed me an amount enough for two months. No, make that a month and a half. As cliche things may seem, he needs me and I need him. We've both got something that the  other needs. He had the money. I needed it. I have the goods he needs to fulfill his desires. He acts like he's all mature but I know he's more of a kid than I am.

This place was the "usual". Nothing grand, nothing special.. Just like any old, dated hotel you'll find around the city. I'd see foreigners come in and out every once in a while but otherwise the rooms would always be empty. I'd always be the first one to leave. I hated the feeling of being left behind. I don't know why but I do. The teller at the counter always changed every two months. It helps to know that no one would really know you're a regular.

We . Talk a little. He pays. I leave. Call me lowly, I don't care. That's how our relationship is. That's how we are, Jonghyun and I.

"Crap." It had started raining. I saw a flash of light. "This is not good."
I ran to the nearest taxi bay to get home soon as possible. I don't like the rain for the same unknown reason I hate being left alone. As much as I seem to be angry at the world, I need people around me. I don't care who as long as I know I'm not alone at a room or somewhere. If I ride a bus and I'd f