***

“Umm..Jae..I need to tell you something” He let go of my hand and I placed my hands on my chest, feeling my heartbeats.

“What is it?” He suddenly smiled and I was frozen at that moment. My mind went blank and I panicked.

I opened my mouth but no words came out of it. He looked at me curiously and I turned around so my back was facing him.

‘Boa you can do this. Inhale. Exhale’

I turned back and I saw him still giving me that look.

“Jae..”

“Yes?”

“I..I..” Say it. Just say it!

“I what?” He slowly sat down and looked directly to my eyes.

“Do you..”

“Do what?”

“Do you know how much..”

“Hey Jae, here’s your med..oops” Yunho entered the room and I was caught off guard. I’m ready to say those three words but he suddenly show up!

I looked down and was unable to move from my position.

“Did I interrupt something?” He asked as he approached us.

“Boa was telling me something” Jae replied and in the corner of my eye, I saw him staring at me.

“Hmm..” I looked up only to see that grin plastered on Yunho’s face. “Is this what I think it is?”

“I..I’ll leave you guys alone” I hurriedly walked out of his room and plopped to the couch in the living room. I felt my heart beating faster than ever I had imagined. Darn that Yunho, he probably told him that I was supposed to confess! Pabo! Pabo! Pabo! I groaned in dismay and screamed on the pillow so they can’t hear me.

“What are you doing?” My head shot up and saw Jaejoong leaning on the wall with crossed arms.

I know I blushed hard upon seeing his face and I was so nervous. He knows now, he knows now, what should I do!?

“W-where’s Yunho?” I made an awkward laugh as I stood up and scratched my head.

“He already left”

“Did..Did he say something about me?” I held my breath waiting for his answer.

“No”

“Really?” I smiled like an idiot and he chuckled.

“You’re weird today..So, what do you want to say a while ago?”

A lumped formed in my throat and I felt a sudden gush of emotion. Should I tell him? Now?

‘Sometimes, you need to take the risk. Sometimes, you need to take the risk’ Aish, I know that oppa!

He suddenly stood up straight and walked weakly to my direction. Then it hit me, what is he doing? He should be resting on his bed. But before I can scold him, he was just few inches away from me and his presence made me lost my voice.

I gulped hard and looked at his chest unable to make an eye contact with him.

And what made me shocked is when he held my chin and made me looked to his eyes.

“You’re saying?”

I felt his cold finger and he was breathing hard this time.

‘What if he feels the same? What if he feels the same?’ I heard my oppa’s voice again and I felt uneasy. This feels strange, a girl confessing to a guy? But..but I can’t take it anymore. It’s like my heart is ready to explode if I don’t tell him now.

“I love you”

I said it. I finally said it! His eyes widen but instantly closed as he leaned forward and we both stumble and fell on the couch.

I opened my eyes when I landed on the pillow and Jae’s head was over my shoulder.

I shook him but he didn’t budge.

“Jae, Jae!” I tilted my head to the right and saw his face was pale. I got up and realized that he collapsed.

What should I do? My phone, where’s my phone?! I d my pockets and it wasn’t there. I ran to his room and saw my phone at his desk. I quickly dialed Yunho’s number and told him what happened.

I ran out of the room and went to Jae’s side. I tapped his face several times and I was relieved that he became conscious.

“Jaejoong!” I hugged him tightly and just cried all of the sudden.

“Boa” He whispered to my ear as he circled his arms around my waist.

I got up and wiped my tears away. “Sorry”

“Boa..I”

Before he could continue, the door opened, revealing Yunho followed by the three members.

“Jae! Hyung!” They ran to him and I moved backwards, giving space for the guys.

“C’mon we should take you to the hospital” Yunho said but Jae shook his head.

“I’ll be fine” He replied and turned to look at me.

I looked away and stared at the floor.

“Noona, are you alright?” I was startled when I felt Changmin’s hand on my shoulder.

“Huh? Ah, I’m..I’m okay. I better go now” I said and went outside the main door without giving him an eye contact even though I know they are all looking at me just then.

I stepped in to my car and stayed there for a couple of minutes. His look, I don’t know what it wanted to tell me and I don’t want to believe that it means rejecting me. How can I face him now?

I started the engine and drove back to my apartment.

What did I get myself into?

***