Boa’s pov

I was awakened by the loud noise that came from the shutting of the door.
I sat up and went to open the door but I don’t see anyone near.
I closed it and headed to my bed.

But something took my attention…a plastic bag on the table. I sat on my bed and picked it up. I looked inside it, wondering who put it there. I thought that maybe appa cooked this for me. But I was wrong…

I gasped when I took away the cover. It was kimchi jjigae. The dish he often cooked for me.

Was he the one who brought this? Was he the one who left when I woke up? Was he?

I have known my answer after I tasted the food. It’s definitely Jaejoong’s cooking.

I stood up and rushed outside the room. I need to see him. Where is he?

I started running, searching for him on the corridors, maybe he’s still here but unfortunately, there’s no sight of him. I decided to look outside the hospital. I don’t care if I wore the hospital gown or be stopped by some nurse.. I need to get out of this building.. I need to look for him.. I need to tell him that he’s wrong.. He’s wrong for leaving me.

When I was near the main entrance, someone called me.

“Boa!”

I stopped on my tracks and turned around to where the voice came from. My parents were running towards me.

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in your room” My mom held my arms, worried.

I got weaker, remembering the thought that he left me. I dropped on my knees and started crying

“He..he came here..Jaejoong...came here” I said between my sobs

“Boa, calm down” my father tried to comfort me “Let’s go to your room now”

I jerked my head up “No!”

People stopped what they’re doing and looked at us. My father started apologizing to them..but being embarassed is the least I can do. What’s more important is to go see him

I stood up and ran outside and searched for him.

The first thing that caught my attention is a silhouette of a guy in a car and instinctively, I knew that it was him. I started crossing the street but the guard and nurses prevented me.

I tried to escape from their grips but having a petite body, I can’t. More to my dismay, the car drove off…leaving me in disbelief. He really left me. He really did. I saw it with my own eyes.

“Pabo!!!!!!” I shouted with all my might.

I dropped to the ground.. Tears began to fall from eyes.. Why? How? I can’t even think properly. I was confused..what happened to his three promises? Did he regret telling me that?

My parents helped me to get up. I was walking like a ghost, too depressed like there’s no reason for living. I really have no reason…Jaejoong was the reason but now that he’s gone…I don’t think I can live another day..

When we were back to my room, I was still crying on my mother’s arms.

“Did you see him?” My dad spoke up after a long silence. I just shook my head sideways

“C’mon Boa, how would you know that he came? You didn’t even saw him” my dad reasoned out

I know I didn’t see his face but I’m definitely sure that he was in that car that left me

“He..brought..me..that” I looked up and point my finger to the bag “He used..he used to cook that for me”

“Boa..” my mom began to talk but I don’t want to hear it

“I just know it!” my head was hurting again with all the commotion that happened.

“I’m sorry” I heard them both apologized. This made me realized my actions towards them and I felt stupid

“I’m sorry appa, omma…I’m really sorry”

End of pov

~**~**~

Jaejoong’s pov

A while ago…

I’m gonna miss you Boa

I looked at the hospital and widen my eyes as I saw her. Why is she outside? That girl..she should be resting in her room..

As much as I want to stepped out of my car and embrace her..I just can’t..I already decided.

I saw her looking at my car.. Did she saw me? She started running towards my direction and I became alarmed. What will I do?

I don’t know if I’ll be happy or not when the nurses came to her and prevented her on crossing the street. I was confused..fully confused. Even if I don’t want to, I drove off away from her. It’s better that way.

“Pabo!!!!!!” I heard her shout. She really hates me.

I was driving and my vision became blurred. I didn’t notice that I was tearing until a teardrop fell on my cheeks. And soon followed by another teardrop. I parked my car and I let my emotions out.. I started crying. I let my tears fell from my eyes and hate myself for leaving her. How could I do that to her? But it’s for the better right? Is it? I don’t want to see her in pain… It’s enough for me to see what happened earlier.. I need to let go of her.. I need to leave her.

~**~**~

I went back to the apartment..feeling hopeless, heart broken, and no sense of living.
I felt guilty, ashamed to my four friends. They helped me a lot and I don’t want them to worry about me again. But I guess, I can’t hide to them what I’m feeling right now.

I directly head towards to my room, but was stopped by them

“Jaejoong”
“Hyung”

I stopped walking but not facing them. I hang my head low

“I guess it’s over”

“Huh? What’s wrong Jae?” Yunho asked as he went close to me.

I heard their footsteps coming towards me. I need to say it to them. I don’t want them to hold their hopes up for me and Boa.

I turned around and looked at them “I decided not to see Boa any longer”

“You already told us that hyung”

“I’ll forget her” As much as I want to be strong.. my heart was bleeding because of too much pain. I killed myself just by saying those words.

They were shocked.. Even I was shocked at what I said.

I saw Yunho came closer to me and with a split second, I found myself on the ground. I looked up and wiped the blood on my lips.

“Stop this” Yoochun went between Yunho and me “You don’t need to punch him”

“He deserves it” Yunho lunged forward and got a hold of my collar as Yoochun tried to take Yunho away from me “What’s with you?! You wanted to see her badly but now you’ll leave her?” With that, he punched me one more time. “You’re a coward! You’re such a stupid….damn it!” He let go of my collar and pushed Yoochun as the latter stumbled on the ground.

I laughed at him. I saw his face darkened. “You’re right. I’m a stupid a**hole. I deserved this”

“I’m glad you know” He walked out of the living room and went to his room, shutting the door hard.

After he left, there’s a complete silence. I got up and head towards my room leaving the three in such tension.

I lay on my bed and placed my right arm on my forehead. “What should I do?”

Boa hates me and even Yunho…who’s next? Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin or Boa’s parents?

I groaned as I thought about that. All the precious people I know hate me.

I remembered what Yunho said before..“What’s with you?! You wanted to see her badly but now you’ll leave her?”

I just want to protect her.. I don’t want her to be in danger because of me.. She suffered a lot and I don’t want to add another burden. Now that she lost her memories, I want her to start a new life without me.

I know I’m stupid but I just need to do this. Even if I don’t have someone to be by my side.. I’ll be okay as long as she is happy.. I’ll try to forget her also, even though I know I can’t.. I will still try..

Even though they think I’m a complete jerk, I’m also hurting..it’s like my heart was stabbed many times that it can no longer beat. How painful it was to say those words from my mouth that I will forget her. There’s not a day I didn’t remember her ever since we met on the rooftop. After knowing and getting close to her, my mind and my heart tells me she’s the girl I need to protect..but to be able to protect her, I need to leave her.

This is getting frustrating. Why doesn’t it become the way I imagined it to be? Both of us, spending a lot of memorable moments until we got older. Sitting at the shore, enjoying each other’s company…Intertwining my fingers to hers…Hugging her as she cuddled closer to me...Mesmerized onto each other’s eyes…Kissing her sweet lips…and loving each other eternally… But why did this happen? Am I not allowed to enjoy my life? To enjoy with the one I love?

If only she knows it.. if only she doesn’t hate me.. if only I didn’t choose my dream over her.. if only I didn’t broke up with her.. if only..

Tears started to form and I don’t want to be sentimental again.. it’s not like me. I reminisced our happy memories together to ease the pain I’m bearing.. but I started crying again when I thought that those memories will never happen again…

Maybe Yunho was right. I’m such a coward. I left her because I’m scared she’ll be hurt again. I can’t face the truth that she doesn’t love me anymore. The same feelings we shared before..it doesn’t last forever. How I wished to bring back the past…The past where I can see her smile…where I can see her happy.

But it’s too late now…I’m sorry Boa…Those three promises, we can no longer fulfill them…We will live separate lives and I hope for the best for you. But I’m still thankful that you became a part of my life…No. You became my life.

Goodbye Boa..Goodbye.