• MIYOON'S POINT OF VIEW •

“Myungsoo, you and I—” I paused and took a breather, giving myself time to further contemplate on what I should do. Five days have gone by already and because I was practically glued to his side while he stayed in the hospital for observations, my duties had been neglected. There was no doubt about it.  

I wasn’t fulfilling my role as an intern and if Dr. Yoo wasn’t so understanding of my current situation, I was certain I would’ve lost my position by now. How can I slack off? I worked so hard for this spot, I can’t waste my time; I can’t risk losing it anymore. I glanced quickly at Myungsoo who looked at me with a questioning expression.

I started nibbling on the insides of my cheeks as I stared at my fingers tangled within one another. How can I tell him that we’re not dating? It’s going to be so awkward… I mean I tried to bring the topic up but every time I do, it’s like he knows what I’m going to say and always comes up with something romantic, throwing me off my guard while confusing my heart even more.

I guess you can say I’m a er for romance. I can’t help but fall for his words because I know everything he has been saying these last few days was what my heart had been aching to hear for the last decade of my life.

But somehow, although it is very pleasing to hear him profess his love for me, I can’t help but feel that it’s not the same. This isn’t real my brain keeps shouting at me. If he didn’t get into that accident, would he be acting this way? No. That’s why you have to do it Wu Xiazi. You have to tell him that the two of you aren’t a couple. That the woman he’s in love with is Maerah. The woman who’s been in love with him all along; the woman who loves him more than you ever could.

“You and I are what? Madly in love?” Myungsoo cooed and when my head snapped up, he was standing in front of me with a small, sweet smile. I felt my heart flutter but not as much as it use to. Before I could reply and deny his remark, he took my hands in his own and rubbed soothing circles with his thumbs on the back.

I was stunned for sure as he raised them to his lips and pressed a kiss against my bare and exposed skin. I expected goosebumps to appear and my heart to run wild but it didn’t. Then a sudden flash of Hoya pulling me in for a kiss after that game appeared before my eyes.

That got my heart racing and I subtly pulled my hands out from Myungsoo’s grasp, feeling quite uncomfortable all of a sudden. Why am I thinking of him at a time like this? Tch, he didn’t even bother to contact me. If he liked me, wouldn’t he have at least texted me by now? Even a simple: how was your day would suffice.

I felt drained and completely rejected. How could he do this to me? He can’t just kiss someone and ignore them. That’s not fair. Who even does that? Aish, stupid nun. “Xia, are you okay?”

Oh I forgot I was still with Myungsoo. I cleared my throat and tried smiling but anyone with eyes could tell how synthetic it was. “I’m fine,” I answered reluctantly. Myungsoo cocked his head to the side and raised a brow at me. I felt like he knew I was lying so what the heck. “Actually—I’m not fine.” I finally admitted vocally.

I noticed his head straightening and his brows drooping. He took a step towards me and when his hand extended out to my face, I quickly jumped back. Just because his touch wasn’t as strong as it use to be in the past, didn’t mean it had had no affect over me. It still did and if I allowed myself to fall under his spell, I wouldn’t be able to tell him the truth. I have to tell him the truth.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he questioned, concern written all over his face. Babe? Babe?! When did he start using babe? That doesn’t sound right at all. But since he’s asking, I should tell him.

“Myungsoo,” I stated again with determination. I tried looking into his eyes but I didn’t dare to, therefore I ended up staring at the wall just behind his head. “You know that you were in an accident, right?” I should try to tell him easily.

“Yeah, how could I forget since everyone’s been reminding me.” He grunted as he sat down on the bed.

I nodded and threw my gaze to the floor now. “And remember how the doctor told you that you had obtained an injury which left a serious impact on your skull?”

“Mhm hmm,” he replied.

“Well, do you know what happens if someone’s brain gets damaged?” I asked. He thought about it and then shrugged. I guess he doesn’t want to think too much. I sighed and rubbed my arm. “They can lose memory, become disabled or even at times confuse reality. Their memories could also become mixed up and what they think is real could only be a mistake.”

There was silence. I recounted my words and wanted to slap myself upside the head. None of that even made sense. What am I doing? This is such a failure. I’m not going to get anywhere with this trying-to-be-easy-on-him act. Gosh, why is this so difficult. What the hell do you want, Wu Xiazi?

“I’m glad my brain is perfectly normal then.” Myungsoo beamed. I was snapped out of my own thoughts as I exhaled deeply.

“Look, Myungsoo-ah. The truth is your brain isn’t norm—” just as I was about to spit out the truth, there was a knock and then the door swung open. We both gave our attention to the intruder who entered without permission and it was one of the nurses who had been assigned to take care of him.

She smiled politely before showing him the pills he had to consume along with the food he was going to have for lunch. She wheeled the cart in and arranged the meal accordingly.

“You will be discharged tomorrow, Mr. Kim. However, the doctor would like you to come back next week to see how you’re doing. If you’re having problems, he wants you to call in case of any after effects from the crash.” She informed.

“I will.” Myungsoo ensured. He took the pills, threw it into his mouth and gulped down some water. When the nurse saw he had taken his medication, she bowed and left without another word.

When the door closed, I stared at it and scolded her mentally. Why did she have to walk in when I was on the brink of telling him his memories were all screwed up? There won’t be another opportunity like the one she ruined. It was hard as is for me to get this far.

“What was it that you were going to say?” Myungsoo looked at me and seriously, this was not getting any easier and I’m definitely going to get gray hairs from this.

“I-I,” I couldn’t find the courage to repeat myself this time. “I have my internship to work on, Myungsoo-ah. That means I can’t spend as much time with you like I did the past few days. I mean, it’s bad enough that I missed almost a week of interning. If I miss anymore, I could be fired. And no one gets fired from being an intern.” I reasoned.

It was the best I could come up with. Give me some credit would you?

“Ah, jinjja?”

“Neh,” again it was quiet and I was beginning to think he didn’t buy my explanation. What am I supposed to do?

“Then you should go home and rest. I know you haven’t been sleeping well lately.” He suggested and my eyes rounded immediately. He—he’s letting me leave? How great! Now I can go and get ready for my uh… gathering with Hoya! I tried hiding my grand smile as I bit on my bottom lip.

I didn’t know why I felt so alleviated that he was granting my leave but I knew I couldn’t wait to get out of there. “Really? Okay, I’ll see you later then.” I chimed and without thinking, I skipped to the door but was pulled back.

“You can go as long as I can spend tomorrow with you,” he stealthily bargained. My mouth fell ajar. No I can’t. This is not happening. “Come on.” He urged as he swayed my arm by and forth. I looked at the time and started to panic. I had a lot to do and then I found myself nodding.

“Okay, okay. Tomorrow I’ll hang out with you.” I agreed.

A wide smile came onto his face before he let me go. “Remember, tomorrow. I’ll text you when I arrive at your house.”

“Mhm.” I muffled before slipping out the door. Seeing that he didn’t follow my, I leaned against the wall and tilted my head up. What’s going on right now? I don’t even know anymore.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated and as I made my way out of the facility and into the outdoors, my heart stopped seeing that it was a message from Hoya. I opened it not even a second after and read: See you later, klutz. I giggled but then frowned. Klutz? I’m not a klutz.

I halted in my tracks and wrote back a reply. I hit the send button and hmphed before I climbed into my car and drove back home.

I halted in my tracks and wrote back a reply. Next, I hit the send button and hmphed before I climbed into my car and drove to the market. As I parked the car, I exited the vehicle and received weird and peculiar stares. I blinked at the middle-aged couple shamelessly gawking at my car and cleared my throat.

Maybe I should have borrowed mama’s or baba’s car instead.  They’re way less flashy than this one unnie left me and especially at a small market like this? What was I thinking? I ignored their presence and made my way into the store. I grabbed a carriage and as the automatic doors parted for me, I strolled in.

The place was really busy; I guess many people like to do their shopping on Saturdays. As I carefully moved around those people surrounding me, I came to a stop by the aisle where all the vegetables were located. Fresh produce? Yum. Like I was driving a car, I pulled over and started scanning the items. What should I get? Gege didn’t even bother to give me a list.

How could he tell me to buy whatever? If I bought a gallon of whip cream will he able to cook something from that? Aigoo. Whatever. I’ll just get a little of everything that looks good.

♦♦♦

I was currently leaning back against the counter with my arms folded against my chest and a very, very serious expression plastered on my face. I squinted my eyes menacingly at the stove before me with a little too much concentration and puffed my cheeks out. After a few seconds of silence, I my heels and examined the various ingredients I had bought from the store. There was a lot. Like a lot. My arms were really sore since I had to lug all these bags to and from my car all alone