can you smile.

“You, Kim Myungsoo, do not know the meaning of love. You do not treasure it as you should and in my opinion, you don’t deserve it.”

Myungsoo shook his head, “I don’t get what’s going on. Why are you saying such random things?”

“You say you love Yunhee unnie but when your first love returns, you forget all about her. How could you even say that you loved her?”

“I—”

“Exactly, because you don’t know the meaning of love. And to think I thought you did. I thought you could move on too but I was wrong. But I won’t be wrong anymore. If you won’t move on, I will. I won’t live in the past, I refuse to hurt myself. Goodbye, Kim Myungsoo.” Without letting him speak another word, Miyoon brushed by him.

“Aish,” Myungsoo groaned as his mind kept replaying that scene which took place less than a week ago. He had his forearm resting over his eyes while he was lying on his bed. “Why did she say all of those things?” Then there was a knock at the door and Myungsoo sat up straight. “Come in,” he permitted.

The door creaked open and the light switch was flicked, “Geez, why was it so dark in here?” Sungyeol complained. For a moment, the burst of brightness blinded Myungsoo who had been resting in the dark for the entire day. He cupped his hands over his eyes until they adjusted to the new lighting.

“What are you doing here, hyung?” he questioned, squinting his eyes.

“Everyone wanted me to check if you were still alive since you haven’t been responding to any calls or messages.” Sungyeol explained as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, now that you see that I’m fine you can leave and turn off the lights while you’re at it.” Myungsoo instructed as he reclined back once again. He was, blankly, staring up at the ceiling, not wanting to do anything but think more about what Miyoon had said to him.

In all honesty, her words bothered him more than they should have and that should have been a huge red flag to the latter. Too bad he failed to notice this fact.

“Don’t be a bum, Myungsoo. What’s gotten into you?” Sungyeol frowned, plopping down by his side. When the younger male did not comply with a sufficient answer, he slapped his stomach.

“Hyung,” Myungsoo whined as he sat back up. “Leave me alone.”

“Andwae, the maknae would wring my neck if he finds out I left you in this sort of state.” Sungyeol argued.

He scoffed, “You act like he can reach your neck.”

“Hey, you never know.” Sungyeol reasoned. “Now tell me, why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Myungsoo huffed.

“You know—all depressed. You act like you just went through a bad breakup…Oh no! Did Maerah noona—”

“It’s not noona. We’re doing okay,” Myungsoo interrupted. He started playing with his fingers as Miyoon’s words continued to echo in his mind.

“So why are you acting like this? You should be a happy man, you’re in love for crying out loud.” He beamed, trying to give his dongsaeng a reason to smile.

“I am?” however, instead of it sounding like a confident statement, Myungsoo’s reply came out as more of a shaky question. He then propped his elbows on his knees and raked his fingers through his messy hair he hadn’t bothered to tend to since he hadn’t stepped out of his house at all.

“Yes you are. That’s why you shouldn’t be sulking around like this. Gosh, you remind me of Mimi.” Sungyeol pointed out with a slight pout.

“Xia? What do you mean I remind you of her? Is she cooped up in her room too?!” he exclaimed, anxiety written all over his face.

“Eh? Uh—I don’t think so? I was just talking about during your party.”

“My party? That was almost two months ago, hyung. Wait—what do you mean, did she look like me? Because right now, I look like crap.” I feel like crap too.

“Oh well, when we were bringing your cake out Mimi was carrying it and then noona came and asked if she could bring it out instead to make it more special. Mimi looked very, very sad. I tried telling her to reject her request because she should be the one to carry the cake out since she was the party planner but she allowed Maerah noona to take it in the end.” He summarized as best as he could.

Myungsoo blinked at the new found information as he closed his eyes and rifled through his memory to that night. He recalled everyone singing happy birthday to him and Maerah looking beautiful with the candlelight beneath her. He had only focused on her and then his mind blurred her out and by the doorway he spotted an upset looking Miyoon.

She was leaning against the door frame with a broken expression painted on her delicate face. Her eyes were shimmering and she indeed looked just as sad as Sungyeol had described her to be. “Why was she like that? Did something happen?” Myungsoo pondered as his eyes opened.

“I don’t really know. All I remember is when Maerah noona showed up, you brushed her off and ignored her. Maybe that’s why,” he suggested.

Myungsoo held his nose bridge up and shook his head in denial, “I didn’t brush Xia off.”

Sungyeol held his bottom lip between his teeth and sent Myungsoo an ooh-but-you-did look. “Think back, dongsaeng. Because I’m pretty sure you did.”

Myungsoo grunted but closed his eyes again before thinking back to that night. His eyebrows were scrunching up in the center when he realized the only time he spent with Miyoon was during the first five minutes. He felt a stinging pain the moment Maerah appeared before him and Miyoon came over wearing a displeased expression yet she was trying to hide it.

“Oh, Miyoon-ah! How could you have a party and not invite me? I’m hurt.” Maerah joked holding her hand over her heart as she giggled.

“It’s well— I thought you were out of the country studying in France.” Miyoon sheepishly answered.

“England.” Myungsoo blurted correcting her. Miyoon then looked at him with a blank expression before she spoke again.

She forced an awkward laugh out, “Neh, I meant England.”

Then his memory fast forward to: “I think I’ll go and greet more of the guests… you guys should catch up.” Miyoon suggested with a smile however in her expression there was a hint of sadness. Then Myungsoo nodded and waved her off.

His eyes shot open, “I-I dismissed her off like nothing.” He choked out. “I-I didn’t even get to thank her for the party.” I forgot all about her, how could I?

“You didn’t?” Sungyeol frowned. “But I thought you stayed after to help her clean.”

“I did?”

“That’s what Miyoon said. After the guests all vacated the house, we offered to help her but she told us you were going to since you were her ride home, so we left.” Sungyeol narrated.

♦♦♦

“Are you sure the two of you can handle this on your own?”

“Yes I’m sure. You guys just go home and sleep. Thank you for coming.” Miyoon prodded as she shoved them out the door.

“Aye, this is my house and you’re kicking me out as well?” Sunggyu chuckled.

“Sunbae, you’re staying at a hotel anyways. When this place is spotless, I’ll let you back in.” she assured.

The eldest shook his head as he patted her head, “Alright Miyoon-ah. Be careful while cleaning.”

“Yeah, see you later, Miss Party-Planner.” Woohyun chimed as he lightly punched her shoulder.

As they each gave their own personalized goodbyes with the exception of Hoya, who was no where in sight, Miyoon closed the door and spun around stunned to hear laughter echoing from the dinning room. She walked over and was surprised to find Maerah still there. She was smiling widely as she held onto Myungsoo’s arm affectionately.

“Eh ehm.” She cleared and caught their attention.

“Oh, Xia! Did everyone go home already?” Myungsoo questioned.

“Mhm.

“Well, I guess I should get going too then. Would you guys happen to have a taxi service’s number?” Maerah stood up and Miyoon nodded.

“You want to take the taxi this late, noona? Nonsense, I can give you a ride.” Myungsoo generously offered, wearing a brilliant smile.

“You can?” she squeaked. “That would be great.”

“No problem. Besides, the night is still young; we can even go to Hongdae or Myungdong.” He suggested.

At the sound of this, Miyoon felt herself growing even wearier. She couldn’t believe this. Couldn’t she catch a break for once? “Really? I haven’t been there in ages.” Maerah cried out.

Miyoon wanted to protest but how could she? Why would she? Should she even try?

She threw her gaze to the floor as she heard more giggling. She glanced up to see Myungsoo assisting Maerah in getting into her peacoat. He was really going to leave her. Miyoon stayed silent as she watched their interaction.

When they finally remembered her existence, it was nothing special. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Xia.” Myungsoo beamed as he swung the door open. She trudged after them completely crest-fallen.

“Yes, it was very nice seeing you again Miyoon-ah