"I love you Taea Sun Park,marry me?" Changsun said looking at me in the eyes.I put a hand over my mouth to muffle the cry I released.I stood there,his hand holding mine as he was still kneeling on the concrete waiting for my answer.My thoughts ran through me like a gust of wind.Even after being with Changsun for over a year,all the memories we shared,I never saw myself marrying him.

I began to cry."Taea,don't cry please." Changsun said,his words soothing,but worry was all on his mind.I shook my head furiously,words not wanting to escape my mouth,I was utterly speechless."Taea..." he said his eyes pleading."I-I-I" I stuttered trying make use of the words caught in my throat,"I-I c-can't Changsun." Hot tears poured down my face as I looked at him in the eyes."What?" he said.

"I'm sorry,I can't marry you." I said sniffling."Taea,I love you please don't do this to me..." Changsun said."Mianheyo Changsun." I said running away with tears in my eyes.I ran as hard as I could.I stopped at one point to take off my shoes and began again running barefoot.I ran to the beach.

This was a test...

A test of my love...

My love for Changsun...

And I failed.

The feelings I had been trying to push away and denied for 2 years had came back to me all on this single night,I knew it.I couldn't let go.I couldn't move on I couldn't love anyone else....

I crashed on the special part of the beach where Kiseop and I would always be.I screamed as loud as I could.Echos of laughter,flashes of memories scattered and fluttered around me.I cried,frustration leaving my lips.I pounded on the sand.I was angry,angry at myself,for letting it get this far.I hurt someone who had cared for me deeply,the one who saved me from all the hurt I went through,the one who helped me stand up again....yet I still,I still go back to the one who had hurt me,the one who had left me,the who still had my heart no matter what he did.

I had gotten tired of myself and I lay face down on the went sand the waves lightly crashing on my body,soaking my dress,tears still flowing in my eyes,"Kiseop..."                                                                  

My body felt weak and I felt my eyelids get heavy.I crawled away from the shoreline and there with a tired sigh I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the beach.

Since that night at Indigo Changsun and I never spoke again.He came to my house silently and grabbed his things.I had tried giving him back a few things he had gotten me but he shook his head as in to keep it.I sighed.I had gotten a call from Kelsey and Jonghyun giving me their phone number.They were expecting soon.I was happy for them.But when they asked what had been going on here...

I had told them about Changsun and what had happened."Well Donsaeng,just move on,again." Jonghyun said."Yeah." I said."Are you sure you'll be fine there,just by yourself?" Kelsey asked me."Yeah,I'll be fine,you know I always take care of myself." I said."Hmm." Kelsey said agreeing but not convinced.

"Well,I'll talk to you guys later.Congratualtions on the baby." I said."Bye Taea!" Kelsey said."Bye Dongsaeng!" Jonghyun said and I hung up the phone.I sighed.I really needed something to clear my mind.I had work later this afternoon so I just need to relax until then.

I grabbed my guitar and looked over the lyrics to Pocket Full Of Sunshine.I smiled at the thought when Yonghwa had helped me write some of the lyrics.I strummed the guitar again to let myself get used to the tune.I began to sing.Had sang the written lyrics over and over again until I had found the rest of lyrics and wrote them down on the notebook I had it in.

That was enough to help me cheer up a little.I went to my closet and threw out all my clothes into my room.I sort of did what you would call Spring Cleaning?I had arranged my closet from left to right.I had even more extra time so I rearranged my room too.I had found a bunch of different things that been missing to me for a while.I even found Jonghyun's missing airplane controller under my bed.

I had taken a shower and I went to my work."Oh Taea!I heard you and Changsun,you're not together anymore?" Sungmin asked me.I shook my head,telling her I didn't wanna talk about it.I had waited on tables as usual,I had my group of daily fans who came to see me everyday.I looked at the spot where Changsun used to watch me from.I sighed,like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I began to sing another cover of Colbie Callait-I Never Told You.It had reminded me of Kiseop so much.I sang,I felt like my heart was gonna come out of my mouth.I had finished the song and I felt like I was gonna cry.I stepped down from the stage and my round of applause had came.

"Taea!" my boss called."Ne?" I said walking to him."That man,right there wants to talk to you." he said.I looked at the table where a man in a brown suit was drinking a cup of coffee.I nodded an walked up to him."Miss Park?" he said standing up."That's me." I said. He motioned me to sit,so I did.

"I am Mr.Kwak one of FNC's directors." he said.