Today is not a typical Sunday morning.

You are not awake by yourself like you usually should. The clock that is hanged against the wall doesn’t show half past six in the morning, like it usually would. The thought that you skipped your daily morning routine for today dawn in your mind, making you curse under your breath at yourself. This is a little too unhealthy for you, as this is your very first time to wake up after getting wasted because of too much of alcohol. Thank God you have already met Soyeon yesterday, cause that unnie will probably kill you if she knows how much liquor you consumed last night.

Hoisting your body off the floor, you turn to see the dirty mess. Empty bottles scattering on the floor, poker cards stacked haphazardly on the middle, dirty polystyrene bowls of yesterday’s black bean noodles and still passed out Heeyoung and Rina. A twinge of agony strikes in your head as you instantly bring your fingers to rub on your temples that feel like they’re pounding. Fighting the painful throbs in your head and uneasy lurches at the bottom of your stomach, you lift yourself up, grab your towel and step into the bathroom.

You fish out your phone from your pocket with your unoccupied hand while the other is brushing your teeth, tapping in your password. You your eyebrow when there’s three new messages in your inbox, immediately checking the notifications. All of those are from Jimin, and you are wondering what your boyfriend is up to for today.

Good morning, babe. You’re up, yet? - 6:58 a.m.

Have you done with your workout? - 8.02 a.m.

See you at 10. Miss you sm. - 8.30 a.m.

Every week. Jimin comes here every single week without skipping one in three months and a half straight. You mean, it is indeed a blessing that you can even see him that frequent considering both of you have your own separate hectic lives.

Yet there’s something that holds you back from feeling contented.

“Good morning, sleepy heads,” you greet to your half conscious roommates as soon as you step out of the bathroom, after a long shower and completely donned in a new pair of clothes. While waiting for the duo (who are still wrapped in their blankies like burritos) to fully awake, you clean up the mess, throwing off the empty bottles, cups, bowls and chopsticks to the bin and place some pills and cold water at the nightstand for the girls.

“Where are you going?” Heeyoung asks with her morning hoarse voice, hand covering her yawning mouth afterwards while Rina has her eyes squinted, fingers ruffling her unruly hair.

“It’s Sunday. I have a date, darlings,” your eyes don’t meet theirs, as you are adorning a watch on your wrist, a go-to accessory.

The girls instantly are snapped from their reveries, exchanging cryptic gazes before pinning them on you who are grabbing a pair of sneakers of the shoe rack. Rina feels a nudge on her elbow from the other, getting a body sign from Heeyoung that reads ‘we need to talk with her.’

“There’s some med and water on the nightstand and go shower, kids. This room is reeking with alcohol scent. Bye, girlfriends. See you at lunch,”

“Hey-”

Before Rina could even call your name, you have already vanished from their vision.

…

“This… might be the last time I could come here,”

When you lift your gaze off the grass beneath your feet, you can see a hint of rue crosses Jimin’s features, as the guy is pursing his lips, fingers tapping on his thighs - signs that he feels troubled. Your gazes lock with each other for a while, no one’s voicing anything and letting the silence fill in the scene when you just realize that Jimin is expecting you to give a reaction, elicit something.

“My man’s getting busier, I see?” you mutter softly, a sneer following after.

“My schedules for the next few weeks are jam-packed. I’m just informing in advance, just so you know,” Jimin voices out apprehensively in sheer reluctance, voice going a little quieter, almost coming out like a heavy whisper.

“Well, I’m sure there’s plenty work to do to prepare for your upcoming project. Plus, you’re going big this time. But hey, everything’ll be okay. Might be a little tiring, but it’s worth the sacrifice,” you lay your other hand on your entangled fingers, as your lips flash a little encouraging smile.

Jimin huffs, eyeing on your hand in his as he tightens the grip. You sound so genuine when you say those words, encouraging him with words that are not laced with any sorrow or anger. You sound so collected, like this news doesn’t affect you even the slightest. He’s wondering if you really are okay or all of these are just a facade, because there’s not even mere ambiguity or hesitance in your chord. Your voice sounds convincing.

But, not enough to make Jimin convinced.

“I can drop the offer if this would make you upset, you know?”

“No, Jimin,” you express your disagreement without missing a beat, “Don’t even think about doing that,”

Jimin frowns, his worry is growing even bigger. It is concerning how you could manage to draw you significant dimpled smile and let out a sneer, acting so normal, so unbothered. You didn’t even take your time to think through the offer, immediately turned down the idea with no doubt.

“You love singing, Jimin. Don’t waste this opportunity just because of me being upset or whatsoever,”

“So, you are upset?”

Jimin does a great job in making you caught off guard. The sudden counterattack manages to make you run out of words. You can’t lie. Deep down your heart, you do feel a little bumped to know that Jimin won’t get to be here every weekend. But, you do see this coming right after he told you the news. You know what Jimin is signing himself up for, and if this could make him happy, you’ll be happy too.

“Jimin, babe,” you scoot closer, cupping his face, staring into his dark mahogany irises while your mind is constructing words to smooth out the conflicts between you.

“I’m fine. I totally am. I understand that we can’t meet as often as we want to and all of the hectic schedules you’ll be having. You’re working, you have your own stuff to do, and that’s totally fine. You know, this is those time where we need to compromise and give in to each other. Moreover, I’m getting busy too lately. Those loads of homework and sheets can keep me distracted,” you smile before leaning in to give a chaste peck on his cheek, hoping that would shoo his worry creases away.

The corner of his lips are tugging upward but the hint of concern is still there and that really can’t be helped. Jimin pulls you into his embrace, snuggling his face into your neck as you softly caress his hair, propping your chin on top of his head. Your other hand is rubbing his back fondly, giving him all the warmth and solace so his tensed body could relax and his concern can be casted away.

“I’m sorry,” he muffles in a heavy whisper, grip on your waist tightening.

“It’s okay, Jimin. It’s okay,”

Both of you stay in that position for a while, appreciating each other’s warmth and presence as much as you can. You lean away from the hug when you can feel Jimin’s arms around you loosen, beaming softly to the gloomy guy. His cherubic pout will always make Jimin looks like a sulky kid, making you wonder how this grown up man can be this cute and fluffy.

“I’ll try to make it every time I have a day off, okay?”

“No, you need rest, Jimin,” you say, trying to be insistent, “Don’t exhaust yourself. We can still call and text each other,” you add, keeping your dimpled smile on display. Jimin just lets out a sigh but nods in approval afterwards, deciding not to argue with you any longer and push his worry aside. He does feel at ease a little now after spilling his concerns and receive a positive reaction from you. He is relieved to get to discuss with you about this and settle in without any deep quarrels.

“Babe…” Jimin brings his right hand to cup a side of your face, then running his thumb across the area below your eye. It would be a lie if you’re not flustered with the action. Every touch from him could still erupt butterflies in your stomach even till now, and you don’t think you could ever get used to his feathery touches.

“Look what this school has put you through. Are you getting enough sleep?” Jimin asks, worry once again lacing his words. The dark circles under your eyes are getting more obvious, no wonder they make Jimin alarmed.

“I’m fine, Jimin. No worries,”

Just if Jimin knows what had happened last night, he wouldn’t have believed those words.

...

You are unlocking your locker when you overheard a conversation of two girls on the same line of lockers as yours.

“How can you even manage to meet him every night?”

“Oh c’mon, his house is a 5 minutes walk away. Sneaking in and out for a couple hours isn’t a problem,”

“Wow. That sounds exhausting enough,”

“That’s what you have to do for a relationship to work, hon. Don’t want to be a useless girlfriend, y’know?”

Useless.

And that’s the only word that is stuck in your mind for the rest of your day.

…

Jimin just gets back from his tight schedule on the label company, most of his days are spent with meetings, vocal classes, some listening and producing sessions, lyrics writing and whatnot. The whole members catch the sight of him, shoulders slanted, hair dishevelled, shirt untucked and most importantly a pout on his lips. Tossing his bag on the couch, he ambles straight to the dining table and slumps himself on the seat beside Namjoon.

“Rough day, kiddo?”

It feels like he really has no energy left in his body to let out even something close to a whisper, so he ends up nodding his head as a reply. Namjoon just sneers, giving the younger a soft massage on his shoulders. After placing the remaining dishes on the table, Jin and Hoseok quickly take their seats and the whole family begins to eat.

“How was your day, Jimin? You look tired,” Yoongi initiates the casual conversation they usually have while having dinner.

“Typical stuff we would do in your studio everyday. Except with larger quorum,” Jimin replies, receiving nods from all the members.

“I can’t barely see your in this house anymore these days,” Hoseok flashes his signature upside down V frown, eliciting an apologetic chuckle from the younger.

“Yeah! Tae hyung misses planning his pranks with you,” Jungkook follows up afterwards, nudging his chin towards the red head.

“You notice that, Kookie?” Tae muffles with his mouth full with food, making the maknae who is sitting beside him offers a glass of cold water to him, just in case if the red head would choke on his own food.

“Of course I know when my baby’s sad,”

“Aww, Kookie. I only need you and that’s more than enough,” Tae ditches his chopsticks, wrapping his arms around the younger’s one, plastering his boxy smile.

“I think Jimin’s glad to not be around if you won’t stop being this disgusting,” Jin teases, reenacting the vomiting emoji.

Maybe what Jin has said is not entirely a joke, because Jimin envies how Jungkook and Tae have all the time in this world to stick around together, without having to be distant, without phones as the only source of communication.

I only need you and that’s more than enough.

Jimin keeps repeating the words in his mind, echoing so loud in his brain but being so quiet on outside.

Enough. He’s not enough.

…

Sorry, babe. Can’t call you tonight.

You just have your long shower after a two hours practice at the gym, and you just have the chance to check on your phone. There’s a text from Jimin, which was forty minutes ago. You hope the guy would understand why you would reply late sometimes.

Okay, let you rephrase that. You hope Jimin would be compassionate why you reply late like most of the time.

The competition is two months ahead, and for both of you and Soyeon, that isn’t a long period at all. All of the practice sessions you have are extended to necessarily long hours and they’re getting more intense. There’s also times where you couldn’t even spare a glance on your phone, as you spend your mornings with schools, evenings with practices and midnights with school tasks.

You feel ty. You can’t use that you’re busy as an excuse, cause Jimin is way busier and he still manages to make time for you. A sigh escapes from your lips, as the conversation that you overheard this early morning haunts in your mind. You should have arranged your time wisely, so you could give more to Jimin. So you could be a good partner.

But, you couldn’t. You’re not enough.

…

It’s fine, Jimin. Don’t overwork yourself, okay? Take care.

Jimin checks the inbox after his phone pings for a notification, and his body relaxes as soon as he reads your reply. Lately, you’ve been replying him quite late, and Jimin fears that one day you won’t reply him at all. Even if that day comes, he won’t blame it on you. The thought that you even still replying to him is kinda baffling, because if Jimin was you, he would be all sulky and gloomy and pretend that he wouldn’t even exist.

Well, maybe that’s why you’re replying late these days.

It is all his fault, he is the one who has to carry the blame. He should have made more time with you, giving you all his best and stop making you upset. He should have treated you the way you deserve, devote his attention and care to you.

But he fails.

He feels so useless.

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[A/n]

Okay, first things first, I'm sorry but I really have to write it this way. And relax.

cause things will get worse HAHAHAHAH

I kid. I kid.

Anyway, all of those doesn't occur like in consecutive days? Like, I'm kinda lazy to mention the dates or how many days have skipped and whatnot? You get me? I'll give you a lil' hint how much time has passed but I really won't mention it frequently (?)

And yeah, you can start playing your sad emotional playlist cause things'll get sad. Or if you want me to give some suggestions, I'm happy to do so.