"Everyone, hello, this is Eli," you greeted the camera with a smile, hoping to give the people watching some happiness even if you were feeling down. 

It's been a few months since Wendy's hiatus from group activities and you had been struggling big time. You knew each member fills in the gaps but you didn't know how much until one of them couldn't join for a long time. This is the longest you had experienced without another member. 

"I've been missing Wendy-unnie a lot these days and it's been hard doing group schedules without her, so I want to dedicate this song for her." You proceeded to scoot your laptop closer to play the instrumentals of the song that represented your current emotion. You'd play the guitar but this song is best with the original instrumentals.

The fans could see how much you had been struggling during schedules, even if you tried to not show it because you wanted to be strong for your members, but they could see it. You had mentioned before how close you were to Wendy so they knew her accident and absence from the group hit you the hardest alongside Seulgi, her soulmate and best friend. Seulgi mentioned Wendy every chance she got to show how much she had missed her best friend but you had been almost silent regarding it, not wanting to burst into tears every time her name was mentioned. 

The instrumentals of I Miss You by MAMAMOO began playing and you knew you were going to cry in front of the public for what might seem the first time, and you didn't care. You began singing and the audience could definitely feel the emotions you were feeling, shown by the number of comments saying how they had cried listening to your very emotional singing. You might not be able to reach Solar's high notes but you managed to cover the song beautifully and within your range, bringing tears into the viewers' eyes. This might be one of the most-watched videos on Red Velvet's Youtube channel. 

Your tears began forming by the first chorus and by the end of the song tears were streaming down your face though your voice didn't waver, still going strong just like how you're going strong for your members. When the song ended you stopped the video and looked up whilst wiping the tears away, sniffling in between. After you calmed down, you faced the camera again and gave a teary smile. 

"I know this video is kind of sudden and out of the blue but I really needed to let go. One of the best ways is to sing and I want you to remember my crying face forever and in HD," you teased as you chuckled lightly, "so I recorded this with a camera and uploaded it to this channel."

You heaved a sigh and the people watching wondered how you had managed to hold on for this long. They did wonder how you were doing and had suspected you were struggling, which they were proven right when this video was uploaded and they were allowed to see the raw emotion you were feeling, and they were thankful for that. They appreciated you for sharing this moment with them and allowing them to provide strength for you and the group through the comment sections that they knew you would monitor. 

"I miss Wendy-unnie a lot and when this song played I immediately began crying," you chuckled before wiping away the tear that leaked the corner of your eye, "I know you probably think of me as someone strong that never let their emotions get the best of them but I admit this had been hard, and I can't avoid it anymore." You gave a teary smile but the audience could see from your body language that you felt lighter. 

"I've been staying strong for Unnie, my members and you, our ReVeluv, and I had managed so far but this song just... really gets me and I feel like I had to sing it so I did. I hope you'll forgive me for crying in front of you, I must look puffy and ugly right now because I know I'm an ugly crier, but this made me feel better and I hope you know we, Red Velvet, miss her just as much as you do. I hope this made you feel better too and you would wait with respect a little longer." You ended it with your signature warm smile and the world felt like it would be right again. 

After you posted the video, seemingly everyone went wild on social media and you were not surprised when the group chat was bombarded with news articles and your video posted by the youngest, saying how she was mad at you for not coming to her but proud of you for singing such a heartfelt song for everyone to hear. You chuckled at your little sister's antics. 

'ELIZABETH WHY DID YOU NOT COME TO US FOR THINGS LIKE THIS?!?!?! Opening up my .' Irene's remarks made you laugh out loud, already picturing the icy glare masking the concern underneath. You shook your head fondly, already forming your apology in your head. It's not like you didn't come to her at all, you did at the beginning but you knew everyone was feeling under pressure, especially Irene and Seulgi due to their sub-unit debut, so you didn't exactly want them to worry about you too.

'ELI NEXT TIME TELL ME THESE THINGS??? WHAT AM I TO YOU???' You shook your head at Joy's dramatic remarks, knowing you would face some wrath when they come back to the dorms. You were moving to a new dorm so they would be back when they had to pack. You had begun packing some of your stuff and thought it would be okay to help pack some of Wendy's, that's when it had hit you the hardest. Seeing her things and remembering her with those things really made you miss her the hardest, which was why it hit you hard when the song played through your playlist and made you sing and post that cover without your members' knowledge. 

'Liza... that was beautiful. Thank you for such a wonderful gift and I can't wait to see you. I love you.' You knew she probably somewhat felt guilty so you made sure to call her afterwards, ensuring her that she shouldn't feel guilty and hoping she's proud of you for being able to sing such an emotional song. She'd assured you she was moved to tears as soon as she heard you sing. 

Wendy's absence was obviously difficult for everyone. She was the mother figure, making sure everyone had what they needed at all times and listening to the members' concerns regarding everything, always trying her best to make the members laugh even if it made her feel embarrassed. You would often go to her room to just sit together and listen to music, talking quietly over how you had missed your homes and how you couldn't wait to go back to see your families. You'd often cook with her during not too busy days, trying out new dishes for the members to try and gush over. She truly felt like a second mother-figure to you as the title was held by Irene during your first years of being in Seoul, but that had changed over the years) and her physical absence left a hole in your heart. You knew you could just text her or call her whenever you felt like it but it felt different. You felt like you'd always have her with you and when you don't anymore, it felt like something had shifted. 

"Eli-ah, what's up? Why do you look so sad?" Seulgi asked once she saw you on the balcony, just standing there taking the view of the afternoon sky. 

You turned around and made sure you gave her the warmest smile, all traces of sadness gone. "Hi, Seulgi-unnie. I'm just looking at the sky." 

Seulgi was staying at the dorm for the weekend, wanting to spend some time with you after being home for a while. Irene stayed the week before and Seulgi had told her she wanted to spend some time with you, taking you out over the weekend, so Irene didn't have to stay over again. She relented, making Seulgi promise she'd take care of her baby to which Seulgi had promised. 

She made her way over, standing next to you and looking at the sky before turning her attention to you again. She just took her time looking at how much you had grown into the woman you were today and she couldn't be prouder. You had accomplished so much while staying true to yourself and she believed you would achieve a lot more in the future. 

"Hey, talk to me, dongsaeng-ah." 

That made you turn to her with mirth dancing in your eyes. "Now you sound like Joohyun-unnie." 

Seulgi grinned, her eyes turning into crescents. "What can I say, I spent too much time with her during our promotions." You both chuckled at that, imagining if she was here and heard that remark. 

It was silent for a little before Seulgi spoke again, knowing you wouldn't start the conversation. "It's hard without her, huh?" 

"Yeah," you immediately agreed, huffing out a laugh, trying to sound like it didn't bother you that much when it actually did. It's been a few months now, sure you'd felt better by now? 

"She'll be back, Eli-ah, don't you worry. We visited her at the hospital countless times, remember? You saw how she's doing much better now." 

You looked down when you felt tears making their way into your eyes, breathing steadily to avoid actually sobbing in front of your first sister. "I know," you whispered, trying to mask your crying from your older sister. 

Seulgi looked at you for a while before scooting even closer, bringing your much taller figure into her own so you would snuggle into her neck. "Come here, dongsaeng-ah. Let it all out."

You broke down right then and there, finally letting out the emotions you had been keeping to yourself for what seemed like months now, wrapping your arms around her a little tighter. Your older sister made sure to wrap her arms around you tightly, wanting to let you know that she was there with you and she's not going anywhere. 

"I'm here, Eli-ah. Unnie's right here and not going anywhere. Unnie's here," she just repeated that over and over, closing her eyes in an attempt to not cry with you. She'd never seen you this emotional before, not even when you had that fight with Irene. Well, you might've reacted the same way in private so she just didn't witness it, but she chucked it up to this being a different kind of emotional distress. She knew how you viewed her best friend and therefore she'd figured you're bound to miss your mother figure, especially with everyone being home and you being alone with no one around. 

No matter how much of a homebody you were, you'd be bound to feel lonely. She's just glad you broke down with her there. She didn't want you to feel alone. 

Your sobs had turned into sniffles and when you had completely stopped crying, Seulgi kissed your head before pulling away from the hug a little so she'd be able to look at you in the eyes. 

She took in your puffy eyes and red nose, wiping away the leftover tears which made you smile, albeit a very teary one. "There there. Are you feeling better?" 

"Much," you nodded, wiping away your own tears before sighing, "thank you, Unnie, I needed that." 

Seulgi smiled and you couldn't help but smile along with her. She just had that kind of smile that would prompt you to smile, no matter when or where. 

"You've been missing her hard, huh? Why didn't you tell any of us?" 

You looked away to the sky behind her, taking in deep breaths before looking at her again. "I did but I know you all have been missing her too, so I didn't want to make you feel worse. Besides, you've all been busy and seemed happier, I didn't want to bring you down with how I'm feeling." You smiled at her and Seulgi felt like smacking you for being so dismissive over your own needs. 

"It's been months now. I should have moved on, right?" You let out a tired sigh, turning your attention towards the sky and leaning against the railing. Seulgi followed suit next to you. 

"I don't know why I miss her so, so, so much. We're all close with her, right? Why am I still feeling this way?" 

Seulgi sighed, leaning closer to you to lean her head against your shoulder. You put your head on top of hers. "You have a different kind of relationship with her, Eli-ah. She's my soulmate and best friend, and I do miss her very much, but your relationship with her is different. She's like a mother figure to you, isn't she? That's bound to make you feel a deeper loss when she's gone." 

You took in her words and had to agree, releasing a relieved sigh. You finally could stop wondering why Wendy's absence seemed to leave a hole in your chest, much deeper than it did the members, and now you can start doing something about it. You knew you were close with her but you just didn't realise how much until she was away for much longer than she used to. 

"I guess so." 

You fell into a comfortable silence, just staring as the sky turned darker as the day passed. 

"Thank you again, Unnie. I'm sorry you had to see me cry that hard." 

Seulgi turned to you with a serious glare in her eyes. "Yah, stop doing that. I'm grateful that you would open up to me and I'd rather you cry with me than by yourself. You got that?" 

You nodded while letting out sheepish giggles, causing Seulgi to tiptoe a little so she could ruffle your hair. She couldn't help but melt at how cute you were. It reminded her of the young Eli and she wondered where the time had gone. 

"How about we visit the Son's tomorrow? I bet Mama and Papa Son would be delighted to see you." 

You lit up at her suggestion and Seulgi grinned, pinching your chubby cheek in response. "Can we?" 

"Yeah! I'll text Seungwan-ah and we can bring something over. Wanna cook with me?" 

You nodded vigorously and she giggled at the sight, bringing your body to hers for a short but warm embrace before pulling away, wrapping your hand in hers. 

"Come on, let's go to the supermarket before it turns super dark. We can cook tomorrow morning!" You nodded excitedly to her idea, following her figure. Everything would be okay, now.