"How do you feel turning twenty-six this year, Eli-ah?" 

The question stumped you. How did you feel? You felt like nothing was different, only a year older, and you felt both satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time. Satisfied because you've succeeded in achieving your dream of becoming an idol with your sisters and soulmate, being in a successful group that is loved by many all over the world, having debuted as an idol actor in a pretty successful drama, and having the best fanbase anyone could have. However, you also felt unsatisfied because you felt like you could've achieved more and there are just so many things you could try? You could get into university to have a degree for when your idol days are over though you doubt you'll stray away from the entertainment industry, or you could have more solo projects to get your name out there, you don't know. 

You felt like you were having an identity crisis and you didn't like what you were feeling. 

You let out a heavy sigh and Joy immediately frowned. That didn't sound good.

"I don't know, Unnie, honestly. It feels... empty? It doesn't feel special or anything, just another age added, but it does make me realise how old I'm getting..." you trailed off before shrugging, your gaze turning back to her. 

"Hmm..." she hummed, "have you been feeling this way for a while or just when you realised you were about to turn twenty-six?" 

Your eyebrows frowned in thought. "I think the latter, Unnie, because we've been so busy with our comeback I didn't really think about it. Once everything settled down though, that's when the thoughts hit." 

Joy looked at you with sympathy in her eyes, not pity. Never pity. She knew you hated it whenever somebody looked like they were pitying you. "Believe it or not, I've been feeling similarly as well." 

"Really?" your eyes widened in surprise, "what triggered it, Unnie?" 

It was her turn to think of her answer. After a while, she turned towards you again and gave you a sympathetic smile, shrugging all the while. "Same as you, when we were celebrating Joohyun-unnie's birthday together, I realised all of us were getting older and while Yeri's still young, I feel like the rest of us have expectations because of our age?"

She looked around the room to gather her thoughts before turning back towards you. "Our society has these expectations of us girls especially, on what we should be doing at a certain age, what we should have achieved, and so on. I don't know how idols deal with that honestly, I feel so pressured." 

Even though you were dealing with the same thing, you felt the immense need to comfort her and make her feel better. You were just so used to being your members' shoulder to lean on that your actions and instincts came naturally. 

You took Joy's slimmer hands in yours, giving them a comforting squeeze. "It's okay, Unnie, we can go through this together," you have her your warm smile and she released a relieved sigh, "should we talk to Joohyun-unnie first or do you think it'll be better if we take it to our seniors in Girls' Generation?" 

"Hmm, I think it would be okay to go to them first, then we can get Joohyun-unnie's perspectives as well."

You nodded determinedly. "I agree. Let me contact Taeyeon-unnie to see when she's free." 

Taeyeon immediately agreed on meeting the both of you, quickly calling Tiffany as well to let her know that her "daughters" were going through some identity crises. During the weekend, when all of you had no schedule to attend to, you agreed to meet up at Tiffany's house to avoid the crowd that would definitely recognise you four in a public space. 

The weekend came and you got ready leisurely, only putting on some comfortable clothes and only bringing the necessities like your phone and wallet since you'll only be at Tiffany's house. You didn't forget your mask and hat though, just in case you and your older sister wanted to get some coffee before going back home. Before you left, however, Irene saw you as you put on your shoes before you left. Now, it was not your intention to not let her know first as you usually do whenever you have problems, you just wanted to be more sure of what you're going through before talking to her about it. 

"Where are you going, El?" Irene asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Were you going somewhere without letting her know? There didn't seem to be anything wrong, she couldn't detect any restlessness you might be emitting. 

You gave her your usual smile, though she could finally see the lack of warmth it usually emits. She grew even more worried. "I'm going over to Tiffany-unnie's with Sooyoung-unnie, there's something we want to consult with them." 

The leader nodded, though it did cross her mind why Joy or you didn't come to her first. She immediately shook her head inwardly at the thought, not wanting to assume things too much. She knew and trusted that you knew you could go to her whenever you needed, whenever you were ready. 

"Please know that the reason why I'm going to her first and not you is that I want to know more about what I'm going through before talking about it with you, Unnie," you softly explained as if being able to read her mind, "I'll come to you afterwards, I promise."

Irene softened at that and came closer to where you stood, putting her hands on your cheeks. Your eyes closed at the gesture and you leaned into her touch, causing your soulmate to smile fondly. 

"Hey," she called and you opened your eyes again, looking at her right in the eyes, "come to me when you're ready, okay? I don't want you to feel like you have to come to me when you feel like going to someone else for advice is more fitting. I'm glad you have Tiffany-unnie to lean on, Eli-ah, I'm sure she'll have an insight that even I don't have and will be able to help you more," she reassured you. 

You looked into her eyes to make sure there was no trace of hesitance in them and were satisfied with what you found. A genuine smile filled with warmth bloomed on your face and Irene felt a little lighter at the sight. 

"I love you, Unnie, you know that right?" Irene nodded with the smile she seemed to reserve only for you, reassuring you even more, "I'm so grateful to be surrounded with people that truly love me and care for me. Thank you for being in my life, Unnie. I love you so much, my sunshine," you said to her in English, making the moment even more intimate. 

Irene knew you really meant what you said when you turned to English to express what you were feeling. 

So, she did the same. "I love you too, Eli." 

You leaned closer to kiss her forehead and she redirected her hands to wrap around your waist instead, snuggling into your embrace. She was so glad you're the touchy type so that she can get affectionate touches whenever she wanted and you wouldn't hesitate to return them. 

"I should go," you murmured before regretfully pulling back from the warm embrace, though not far enough so the leader's arms would unwind from around your waist. 

Irene looked up at you with warm, slightly worried eyes. "Hey, say everything you need to say to her so she can fully understand your feelings, okay? She won't judge." 

Even though you knew TIffany wouldn't judge, it was relieving to be reminded that you were in a safe space. So you smiled one more time, chest feeling a little bit lighter. "Right, she won't judge. Thank you, Unnie." 

She smiled beautifully before fully pulling back to let you go. "Say hello to Sooyoungie for me." 

"I will, Hyun-unnie. I'll see you when I get back." You gave her one last smile before leaving through the door, bringing silence to the dorm. 

Irene heaved a sigh. She hoped Tiffany and by extension Taeyeon (Irene knew the two wouldn't be too far from one another if you were involved) would be able to give you some insight and therefore relief.