It would be your first concert performance in front of a massive audience after the pandemic and you didn't know why but you felt more nervous than usual. This wasn't your first performance in front of a massive audience after almost three years of performing in front of no audience, no; the first one was during your schedule to Jakarta, then Red Velvet's appearance at a university festival and you were only excited. This time, though, you felt a sense of nervousness sprinkling on top of the excitement that was clearly building between the members. 

And clearly, it wasn't only you that was experiencing the same thing. 

"El?" 

You opened your eyes to eye the mirror in front of you and found Irene standing behind you, a look of passive comprehensiveness in her eyes. You immediately turned around and opened your arms to have her in your arms, her sitting ever so carefully as to not ruin the skirt that was already in place. You were backstage at the Dream Concert 2022, just finished with your makeup and wardrobe and were calming yourself down in front of the makeup vanity while the others were doing their own things. Amidst your bubbling-up anxiety, you didn't notice Irene was going through the same thing. 

"Hi, my sunshine. Are you feeling alright, Unnie?" you questioned the leader that was seated on your lap, arms around her waist so she could sit comfortably without the fear of falling over. 

She let out a big sigh and gave you a tentative smile. "I'm not sure." 

You, feeling the same way as her, figured it was better to let her know she wasn't alone. "Neither am I, Unnie," you answered and her eyes widened at the unexpected answer, surprise clearly painted in her expression. You chuckled at the sight, fixing the little bit of hair that had gotten out of place. 

"I feel excited, sure, but I don't know why I also feel nervous. It's different than the usual nervousness though, it's not my stage fright kicking in," you thought aloud as you tried to explain to the soulmate what you were feeling. 

"Then what is it?" the leader questioned curiously, feeling a little bit less guilty at feeling nervous. She doesn't get nervous, at least not like this, so she wasn't sure why she was feeling this way. 

You hummed in thought, looking around the room at your members and the staff before going back to look at your leader in the eyes. "I think it has something to do with the audience, Unnie. We're going to see Luvies officially after such a long time and I'm not sure how they will react," you paused for a little bit before continuing with your thought, "will there be a lot of them? Will they sing along to our songs? Did they like our songs? How will they react to us? There are a lot of questions roaming around my head right now."

You let Irene digest what you just spilt as you looked at her with love and the calmness only you can provide for her. 

"To be quite honest, I think I will tear up once I see them," you said quietly, huffing out a chuckle. The fans would surely make gifs of you tearing up at their screams but you wouldn't have it any other way. 

Her eyes widened again, clearly startled at how honest you were being. Sure, you were honest with her whenever it comes to your feelings, but she usually had to get them out of you first. This time, you were admitting your feelings right out in the open, even without her having to "force" it out of you. 

No wonder she was so surprised. 

"Would you really? Is that okay with you to have the fans see you crying?" She wanted to make sure she wasn't hearing things. 

You looked at her earnestly. "It's alright with me, Unnie. They like it when we show our emotions, especially when it's concerning them, so I think they'd actually be touched seeing me tear up at their screams of support," you paused for a few seconds before continuing, "I think they'd have a field day taking pictures and making gifs of me crying, honestly," you finished with a low chuckle and Irene couldn't help but smile, slapping your shoulder with a soft "yah". 

"It's okay if you end up tearing up too, Unnie," you reassured her, "our fans wouldn't think less of you just because you end up crying. It will show them how strong you are and how much you actually appreciate them. They would know," you stopped there, wanting her to feel reassured. You gave your soulmate a soft smile only for her to see and she looked like she was about to tear up right then and there. 

"Aw, Unnie," you cooed as you brought her into your arms, being careful of both of your clothes, "just tear up later when you see the fans, okay? Then make-up ssaem can't scold me for making you cry," you joked and were proven to be successful when Irene giggled while slapping you again. 

"Hey, I heard that!" Make-up ssaem shouted from afar and you both laughed out loud at her playfully annoyed voice. 

You both then fell into a comfortable silence with Irene snuggling as carefully as she could into your neck, basking in your warmth and comfort. She dreaded the day when you would live away from each other, then she couldn't just get cuddles like this anytime she wants. 

"Thank you," Irene said softly after a while before lifting her head up to face you better. You gave her that special smile of yours, the one reserved for her. 

"I love you, Unnie. Be brave, okay? We're right here with you." 

Irene's smile widened into a breathtaking smile and you were in awe. "I love you too." 

You could hear the screams even from the waiting room. When the time came for all of you to take the stage, it felt like a dream seeing that many people, real people, in the audience, physically being there. You couldn't help but tear up at the sight and you knew the fans could see it through the big screens but you didn't care, in fact, your smile widened and the audience could truly see the happiness in each of the member's eyes. 

You were performing two of your latest songs, the first being Feel My Rhythm followed by a short introduction, then Queendom. This would be the first time you guys would be live singing throughout the performance so all of you were both excited and nervous since it would be a lot of dancing and singing all throughout. However, you all agreed a missed note or a cracked voice here and there would definitely be okay, the point was to enjoy the first live performance in almost three years. 

"Hello everyone, it's Red Velvet's Eli!" you greeted the crowd when it was your turn and everyone screamed so loud you couldn't help but grin in glee. 

"It truly feels like a dream being back on a big stage with a big crowd like this," your speech was interrupted by the big cheers and you chuckled, "thank you so much for being the best crowd ever and we can't thank you enough for your support, especially Luvies. We love you so much, enjoy our last song!" you closed the segment, just as planned, and you could see tears almost coming out of the leader's eyes as you locked eyes. 

You hoped the comforting smile you gave her was enough to comfort her before you could do an actual comforting backstage. You also saw how your resident angel Wendy had been keeping an eye and giving her reassuring glances and nods whenever she could, so you knew Irene was being taken care of. 

"We did it, sunshine, we did it. You've done so well," you murmured into her ear as you embraced backstage, feeling her arms tightening around you, "you can cry now, Unnie. Your makeup is easily fixable, don't worry. Cry it out." 

She shook a little as she cried into your chest and you watched as the rest of the members looked at the scene in front of them before looking at each other, then making their way into your arms as well to embrace their tiny but strong leader.

"It's okay, Joohyun-unnie, you've done very well. We've all done very well." Joy wanted her leader to know how proud they were of her. 

Yeri and Seulgi joined in. "She's right, Unnie!" Yeri said and Seulgi added, "the fans loved us. Did you hear their screams? They were so loud!" Trust Seulgi to always make everyone laugh at her innocence. 

"Trust us, Unnie," Wendy added after the laughs died down, "have we ever lied to you about things like this before? I sure as hell hope not."

You laughed lowly and Irene could feel the rumbles on your chest, slowly calming her down from her sobs. "When the pictures come out showing you and me with teary eyes on stage, only support will come out of that. I assure you that, Unnie. They've missed us, you especially, for so long, I'm sure a lot of the fans were crying as well."

You could feel her nods and how her body had ceased its trembling, and you smiled softly. You waited for her to pull back from the hug and you wiped the tears on her cheek with as much care as you could. The members pulled back to make room for her a little more. 

"Hey," Wendy put a hand on her shoulder and Irene turned a little to put her attention on her, "you'll be okay." 

Irene gave her a small albeit genuine smile with a small but sincere "thank you", and the rest of you subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief. None of you actually could stand seeing each other cry, specifically the leader, so it was relieving to see her smile again. 

"Let's get our makeup fixed then come out for the ending stage, okay?" you softly asked and your heart melted at the tiny nods she gave in agreement. 

When it was time for the ending stage, minus Joy because she had to leave to continue her filming immediately, Wendy didn't let go of her hold on Irene's hand and you didn't let go of your embrace around her shoulder. You even joked around depending on the song that was being played and Irene couldn't help but smile and chuckle at her members' antics. 

She was touched and grateful for the constant support her members provided her without fail. It felt like a dream, being a part of the tight-knit circle with her members and the people closest to them, but she was grateful for being part of it and would do everything in her power to cherish these people and keep them close to her forever if she could help it. 

She was home.