A/N: HEY CHINGUS! POSTING A SHORT UPDATE TONIGHT :)

CHAPTER 19

Day 19 of 91

Thursday

From the riding Club to our mansion all I hear from Yuri was her sighs and breathing.

But before we left the place she told me one thing:

“Don’t come back anymore.”

She stopped the car in front of our mansion, the engine still running and probably she doesn’t have any plan of turning Off. Both of us silent in our seats.

Should I go out now and never look back?

Or talk to her and beg to take me away from this place?

A minute has passed but no one wants to say anything. All I hear is her breathing. My eyes falling discreetly on the steering wheel seeing how tight Yuri’s grip on it. She won’t even spare me a glance… just looking straight ahead in the driveway.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before I started to take off my seat belt. Maybe what she said earlier was right… what I am doing is ridiculous and stupid.

Watching her like I’m a lizard stuck on the wall while she is caring for Louise. I actually envy her horse… because at least her horse is well taken cared of by her. While me… she can’t even look at me now like how she looks at her horse.

Gone is the sweet and caring Yuri Kwon on me. The Yuri who always looks at me with love and adoration… her sweet smile and warm hugs when I feel blue.

The Yuri Kwon who went back from Switzerland is a new woman. She treats me like I don’t exist, like I’m some kind of an insect flying around unnoticed.

When in front of my sisters and nephew she’s the old Yuri. Except the part she doesn’t look at me and doesn’t talk to me even if I am just beside her.

Taking my clothes bag from the backseat, I turned my head to look at her and saw her blank expression looking ahead. This is for the better. She’s right, I should stop my delusion.

“Thank you.” I said in a clear voice before reaching for the car handle to open the side of my door. Oh. Its locked. “Uhhh… its still locked.”

She sighed audibly, the annoyance in her sigh I detected. Tsss.. it seems some habits are hard to break. She does that audible sighing when she feels annoyed over something. Just unlock the ing door so you will not be annoyed of my presence anymore!

Looks like she doesn’t want to move at all. “Yuri, the door lock.”

“Stay away from me Jessica, don’t go back to the Riding Club again.” she said not even looking at me. She dropped her hands on top of her legs then turned her head on my side. Finally!

“You don’t have the right to tell me not to go back there. I’m a member of that Club Yuri, maybe you forgot.”

“Then stay away from me.” That was cold… cold like her heart.

“Am I doing anything to you? Do I parade myself in front of you? And by the way, if you don’t want to see me then maybe you should stop going here in our mansion giving free riding lessons to Matthew.” I asked her in a challenging gaze. The two of us staring to each other waiting for who will look away and surrender.   

As expected, Yuri looked away gazing outside. Sigh.

She reached for the main switch of the automatic lock pushing it, finally letting me have a chance to escape her coldness.

“Please remember that you are already married. You’re a respected woman in this town, your family too.”

“Why are you so afraid to be seen with me? Do I have a disgusting disease?!”

“I don’t want anyone to suspect the two of us, let alone be entangled again in a very bad gossip that will bring shame to my family again.” SHAME. Wow. That word totally punched me in the gut.

What happened to you Yuri?…

Sudden anger filled my senses, I feel annoyed and hurt with her words. Words are more hurtful than physical pain… I’d rather be slapped once, hard.

I opened the door closing it behind with a loud thud but before I came out, I took one last look at her before going out of her car. “Stay away from me too Kwon Yuri if you don’t want to see me again.” I went straight to the front door and inside our mansion not even saying goodbye.

“Stay away from me… huh. Its all she can say. Well I will really stay away from now on…” I mumbled to myself feeling annoyed of what Yuri said. Looks like no one is home tonight… where could the Chois have gone? Going up the stairs, I made my way to the hallway leading to my room dragging myself.

Upon entering my room, I found Donghae sitting on the bed his back resting on the headboard while watching TV. His coat neatly hanging on the chair by the study table together with his necktie. This is a miracle…

Did he bumped his head on the roof of his car while going home?

Because the room is neat, different everytime I will go home and find his work clothes on the floor together with his shoes and socks.

“Hey, Jess…” he greeted me while his eyes are focused on the TV. Weird. This is a miracle. I placed my clothes bag inside my walk-in closet and changed into comfortable clothes. I sat on the bed and studied Donghae’s face. Tsss.. this is really weird.

“Are you okay Donghae?”

“Of course I am! Why?!”

“You look weird and feel weird.”

“Really?…” he turn Off the TV then looked at me with a frown. “I’m not doing anything.”

“I’m not saying you’re doing anything.”

“Are you okay Jess?” Hahaha… can I consider myself still lucky because someone asked if I’m okay?

I sighed and turned my head to the window, closing my eyes. “I’m tired.” I mumbled.

Tired…. tired of my foolishness over Yuri.  

A momentary silence passed between us, me staring out of the window looking at the moon. It was a beautiful sight… “Its so beautiful…”

“Yeah… it is.” when I turned to him he was also looking outside staring at the moon. His eyes having that far away look.

We may always fight and mock each other, well mostly I start the fight, but there will always be that random night every month that Donghae and I will miraculously talk to each other like friends. No shouting or mocking, no throwing of things, no one walking out. Calm and always it was deep conversations. I don’t even know why. Maybe its because of the moon. Hahaha.

I admit, I don’t love him and doesn’t sleep with him. I hate him to the core ever since we were married. His personality and my personality doesn’t jive at all.

But… I do share this bed with him. Of course to sleep!

I’m not a cold, ruthless . He has his side and I have my side, and on my side there is my pillow and on the bedside table drawer my gun is being kept. In case of emergencies, like a drunk Donghae suddenly begging me to sleep with him.

I stared at him studying his face that looks so fascinated by what he is seeing. Donghae is handsome, a ladies man. Maybe he has a mistress too, probably. I don’t care about it as long as he doesn’t tarnish the reputation of the company and our family, doesn’t listen to his scheming Father who wants control.

Donghae has always been the son who craves for his Father’s attention and acknowledgement. He was his Father’s child from a mistress but raised by his Father’s wife. Growing up i get to see him in parties and company events that requires us children of the owners to be present. We don’t interact because I’m more of a kid who stays in her table eating cake than run around and sweat like a hog.

His older brother Sungmin was the son supposed to be trained by their Father to succeed him in our company, the one to inherit it all. But Sungmin died when he was a teen because of a freak accident, he was snowboarding when he crashed in a tree bumping his head that lead to his death. Based on Dad’s story that was told to him by the Chief of Police who investigated the incident (yes my Father in-law asked the Police to have it investigated because he thinks its not an accident), Sungmin and Donghae was snowboarding, Sungmin challenged Donghae for a race down the slopes but the latter doesn’t want because its dangerous. He showed off to his brother and met his death. He was 15.         

“Yuri is pushing you away again I guess…” he said in a low voice. I nodded and stared back at the moon.

“How did you know?

“I was by the veranda earlier when I saw her car enter the gates of our compound. So… still zero for you?”

“Right. She finally broke her silence and told me to stay away.”

“I don’t even know why you keep on going there every Thursday, watching her like a lizard.”

“A pretty lizard.”

“Indeed… but a little bit stupid.” I smiled at what he said shaking my head. “.” I spat back in an audible whisper that earned a chuckle from him.

Yoona’s life is much better than mine honestly. Even if Siwon has a mistress, their relationship is okay although I don’t like how my sister is being deaf and blind. She has Matthew, I don’t have anything. Just my sorry self. Is it time now that I start to think of the present and forget about the past?

Silence enveloped both of us, just staring outside and as much as I hate to say this but this once in a month miracle always do wonders.

“Tell me honestly Donghae, do you want my sister dead?”

“If I say yes will you kill me now?” He snorted. Will I kill him now?

My gun is inside the drawer… tsk tsk tsk.

Maybe some other time…

“Depends in your involvement on the crime and eyewitness accounts.”

“Your brother…”

That prick.

“What’s with him? Where is he staying now after the Church excommunicated him or whatever they call it there.”

“He’s in Busan blowing off money playing Blackjack and Poker.” I heave a deep sigh hearing what my older brother is doing. I don’t know if I will be happy or sad for Hae In. Why is he doing this to himself? Mom and Dad is not happy on their graves seeing him ruining his life like that. I thought his bad habits will be forgotten when he went into Priesthood but it seems nothing happened.

“I… I have a confession to make.” I knew it.

I stared back at Donghae and saw him taking his phone from his pocket tapping on it before handing the device to me. “Donghae if you want me to know about your mistresses, its okay. I totally understand if you have one…”

“Jess, I’m not a fool to take a mistress! My God…” Hahaha! He looks so mortified! “I’d rather have one night stands than have a mistress.”

“That’s more dangerous . Do you even use condoms?!”

“Of course I do… I’m not that stupid you wall lizard!” I burst out laughing seeing his embarrassed face. “Just… read that.” I shrugged my shoulders before taking the phone to see what he wants me to see. Its was a text conversation of him and… HAE IN!?!

“What the…” That jerk! Stupid jerk!

“Your brother is already thinking of crazy things and I don’t know what else to do anymore. I sent him money because he asked, but all he does is use it for gambling. “

Tsk tsk tsk…

Hae In…