This is a story review I requested from K-reativity Designing Shop.

 

here's a link to the shop if you're interested in requesting posters, trailers and reviews:

 

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/326058/k-reativity-designing-shop-open-hiring-a-designer-t-maker-graphics-ukiss-hiring-posters-postershop-reviews-trailers

 

 

 

Plot: 11/15

It is good but should be more well written. Give your writings more feelings and details. It’ll attract the readers for sure :D

 

Originality: 13/15

This isn’t my first time reading such a story. But there are some parts that manage to catch my attentions because uestedof its own originality. Good job!

 

Grammar & Punctuations: 14/20

There’re quite many errors when I read your story. You can re-read back and fix them.

 

Her bright smiling face lit up at the entrance….

All of the girls in the hallway had their mouths hanging open

Yunho’s classmates, who had also went out from the room….

…she was shocked to see them with hearts in their eyes

…took their attentions

“You’re mouth is open, Yoong.” should be “Your mouth is open, Yoong.”

 

There’re other mistakes too. You can go and review back to fix your mistakes. Also, I suggest you too use MS when writing your story. It will help you a lot.

 

Characterization: 7/10

Sometimes I think that your characters didn’t have feels. What I meant is that, you didn’t really give them a chance to describe themselves through the story. Know what I mean? But still, you did a good job. Just imagine you as the character and try to describe more about them :D

 

Story Flow: 5/10

Your story was quite in a rush. Or maybe it was just me. But that’s what I felt when I was reading your story. Just like I’ve said earlier, describe more so that the readers can create their own imagination when reading your stories. Don’t be too direct. Also, constant author’s note can cause your story to become choppy. You might also being the spoiler for your own story which had made me to somehow lose interest. But I still like your story though.

 

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10

Sometimes I do enjoy your story, sometimes I don’t. Don’t kill me >.< I have to say that I love your writing style even though it’s changed for a few chapters but remember, do not put too much side notes. It kills the mood.

 

Bonus: 5/5

I’m sorry if I’m strict and harsh. Yours was my last request on this shop. I’m glad to review your story :)

 

Total: 74/105

 

Reviewed by loyal_kissme

 

:)