chapter 001

JESSICA'S POV


I have no idea when and how did it happen. Perhaps, it just happened without me, knowing it. I'll never know, you'll never know. There's only one thing that I can make sure of: I love him.

Yes, I do.

But the thing is, I don't even know if he feels the same way. Maybe not because who the hell am I to him? I'm just his bestfriend. Even though I'm kind of special to him, of course, it's because I'm his bestfriend. I never really expected that I'll fall for him. I didn't know. I should be more careful, but it's too late. Sounds cliché but I'm just a girl who is madly and deeply in love with my own bestfriend.

I love everything about him.

His perfect imperfections,

His eyes that never failed to melt the hell out of me,

His smiles that might be one of the reasons why I died,

His nose, his lips, his hair, everything!

I'm crazy, I know. What can I do when he's driving me crazy? He's all I think about at night, he's all I ever ask for, he's my inspiration, he's my protector, he's my one and only love.

But I don't think he loves me back.

I don't know, I just feel like he doesn't feel the same way as me.

And despite all of the feelings I am feeling for him, I'm trying my very best to control it, to keep myself away from being embarrassed because I might spill my secret out. Yeah, I hate confessions, to be honest. It's not just my cup of tea knowing I hate rejections. I hate the feeling of being rejected so I made up my mind that maybe, just maybe, I'll keep this little secret of mine.

All along I thought t'was just a simple crush. Yes, he's my crush back then. After all, it is where it all started. Ever since we were kids, we're the best of friends. Our parents know each other and business partners. They all want me and Donghae to be together, actually. I liked the idea, I just don't know what is Donghae's reaction to that. Anyway, we've been bestfriends ever since I was born. Maybe because my mom once told me that he was there when I was born. He's so sweet and caring, he treats me like a princess and cares a lot for me. No doubt, I fell in love with that guy. Everyday and every time I am with him, I feel like the world just revolves around us, like time is stopping, feeling all the butterflies in my tummy and my heartbeat is faster than the wind. I don't know. Back then, I didn't know it was love until I told Tiffany about this. She knows so much about love. When I told her about how I feel towards Donghae, she suddenly freaked out and squealed.

She fanned herself and hit me on the shoulder twice, "Our Jessi is in love!!"

LOVE.

A four-letter word. Just a four-letter word yet it means everything. It means way too many things. I've never been in to a relationship before that's why I don't know anything about it... yet. Well, I shoud've listened to Soojung and Tiffany before.

"You'll see, you'll fall in love with him right after!" Soojung smirked.

"The two of you are the best of friends, you know? Of course, there's a big chance that one of you might fall in love with the other." Tiffany wiggled her eyebrows as she told me.

Damn, their voices lingered in my mind. I keep on hearing their voices inside of my head and it's hunting me. Yes, they were right. No matter how many times I deny the fact, the truth will reveal it self.

Only Soojung and Tiffany knows about my secret though.

And I really do think I can't hide something like that to them. You see, they're my sisters. Well, Tiffany has been my girl bestfriend and I treat her as a sister. I know they will know the truth eventually so why let them wait when you can just tell them. After all, I trust them. Yes, they might tease me but I know they will not tell it to him. I'm holding on to Tiffany's promise to me.

"I'll never tell him, alright? I want him to hear it from you and not from anybody else," she assured and gave me an assuring smile.

"Of course you're zoning out again!" Tiffany's voice interrupted my thoughts. Of course, I did!

I apologized to her for zoning out.

"Don't worry, I'm used to. I'm also wondering if Donghae's thinking of you too because obviously, you're thinking of him," she grinned like a clown, well that's a creepy one, actually.

I chuckled, as if!

I don't even know why Tiffany is urging me to keep my hopes up for Donghae knowing I don't have any. Well, somehow, I do think there is but I'm not sure about that!

"You were saying?" I asked her, trying to change the topic and wanting to get back to what was she saying before I zoned out.

"You're really not listening," Tiffany huffed.

I laughed at her, she really looks so cute!

""Really, I can't believe you! You're so into Donghae, Jess. You better confess before it's too late," Tiffany blurted out all of a sudden.

Here we go again with the confession stuff.

"Not my forte," I refused as I shook my head.

She frowned.

"I don't know anymore! You're probably crazy," Tiffany commented.

I laughed.

"Yes, crazy to Donghae." Soojung butted in as she closed the front door. Wow, looks like someone's photoshoot ended so early today, huh?

"Annyeong Soojung-ah!" Tiffany brightly cheered up as she saw my sister.

They really get along with each other well.

"California Girls are in the house!!" Soojung cheered and hugged Tiffany.

While here I am, left alone, finding myself drowned with thoughts once again.

End of POV

"Of course, she zoned out again!" Tiffany frowned as she saw Jessica zoning out for the nth time today.

"Like it's the first time you saw her being like that? She's always zoning out! Get used to!" Soojung snapped.

"Yeah, her mind's flying..."

"To Donghae-oppa's!" Soojung finised the sentence then the two of them laughed, leaving the zoning-out Jessica to have some time of her own.

"I just hope he's aware of how I truly feel for him." Jessica thought and sighed.

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